Judge — November 14, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Is LIFE WORTH LIVING? | a Is life worth living? Ask the lad Bare-footed, homeless, starved, ill-elad, And hear thi My dorg swer you w me has fun —you bet Ask the wretely eid to stretely nd heed Don’t lot me die The hangn 1] “Ttist it ist s rope. scry, Is life w Who's hi and damp, And hear him tell you with a jerk, Lis, old pard, for [don't work th liv Ask th $ the gutter co tramp Is life worth liv Whom old Dame And see li + Aw—weally—life cane and aw quite gay Ask the fool, gling maiden fresh fre The toiler, invalid, the slave: OF life, sweet life, they Is life worth living? ever crave, Is life w Ph To solve the myster: Ask the wise who vainly tries bout ‘The matter and—rem: < in doubt Is life worth living? Ask the The millionaires, the kings ins And note their looks of utter woe | As in despair they shriek, * No! not [Henry ¢ A CONTRADICTION The lover of consistency it griew When in his favorite paper doth appear An item with the headi | A Lone beneath it headed TWO WAYS OF VIEWING IT. Of a man that is wealthy ‘tis comm Wh nk — oft | sunk to say he’s de AWPEL, Fair Anna to her lover said: “Tve heard that you a sockalist is true,” he said, and ki 1 the m: * And you are now an Anna kissed.” THE PASHIONATLR GURL, Her bair is short—that'’s all the go; A natty cane the maid doth carry, She has a * for a beau, And uses scarlet stationery mower [Boston Courier After a fashionable reoe invitations are limite: ina community. “The offi slowest of all political nobility. gineers hi hold their meeting. g “Autumn Leaves,” Autumn Sere, THE JUDGE. | the clean thing by Pittsburg. Dodge, in Detroit Free Press, He's a little bit over the bay,” man man ‘tis remarked, who's in poverty * Where are the policemen? That fellow is drunk!” to which always runs high.—[ Burlington (Vt.) Free Press. Whiskey is corn-juiceive to much crime unt is the The en- ve locomotives for coming here to atural gas is doing LN. 0. Picayune, Sympathizing friend—“ I am always sorry when I hear of their being discord in a fami- ly. What caused the quarrel between you nd your husband Wife (gloomily)— **A “mere matter of a pinion.” — S. F.— “Absurd! [should think you would have more sense. A mere matter of opinion!” W.—*A pinion, I said, a bird’s wing for at. It cost twenty dolla nd he was mad.” $. F.— 1 guess, my dear, it wasn’t the pinion you quarreled about, but the bill.” {Boston Couri ‘ah Curry, aged 19 years, of Dover, N. H., has been informed by cable that she has inherited $1,000,000 by the death of an uncle in Scotland. If Sarah was afllicted with a hair-lip, or a wart on the chin, or any other little hindrances to beauty they will now disappear as if by magic. [Norristown Herald. Lovers of lawn tennis will be pvember number of Outing Imirable article on English with apex partraits of ish champion; R. D. Sears, the American champion; Ernest Ren- and If, F. Lawford, the Irish cham- pion and winner of the gold prize. Washing-day in the Yellowstone bring no terrors, for it is only necessary to p the soiled clothing ina bag with a prope! amount of soap, and suspending the wh pon a pole in a pool of boiling water, leave the clothing to literally wash itself. Tn en article by M Margaret Allen in Outing for November, there is also a description of the manner of cooking a dinner by the same means, though not in the same pool, it should be remarked. WHERE THEY WERE. Prof. A, Kahn a mus a n whose keen sense of humor isalmost without parallel, started out on @ canvassing tour for the Arkansaw Traveler. The following is a bit of his Ar- weeks age kansaw City experience, rendered without his musical accent: “You gave me alist of subcriptions that had expired, you know,” ness manager. “Yes; did you call and see— “Hold on, I tell you. I took the list, went into a hotel where the clerk knew every one, and thought Td call off the names, so he could tell me where the men lived. I began at the first. ‘ Where does he live?” ne said to the busi- this on run out. **Is this one here?’ I asked, another name. “** Tow can I find him?” « «By taking a spade yonder tinder that big tre Littleford boys laid him out.’ ©*Well, [ suppose Colonel Boxwirth is here calling off nd digging out One of the No, he set a man’s house on fire and had to go over into Mississippi.’ “© Where is this man? “Te married a negro woman an’ we pleased to | | there is no business of any importance run him out.” * And this one?’ ah. 1 know where this one i sn't been cut down yet. ‘The mob pinned ion him, warning. all good citizens to leave him alone.’ “+ Where is thi ’ «Tn the Missi «And this one He has gone ont as an evangelist.’ When do you suppose he will be ippi river, somewhere.’ back here any more.’ lot of mortgaged cotton.” “«Tello, what mea “By th the clerk, ‘they are Good bye,’ and his coat t the facing of the back door.” ns that crowd ephemeral dence!” exclaimed coming after me. Is lapped against ansaw ‘Traveler. THE EMPTY HAMMOCK, nt and empty the hammock win; dd gone to strin meshes are crow red and toru al with girls, With and pinned on curls; N re the air is full of feet Of blus ki As over the side the coy maid g (A sly mancuvre for catching beaus), T k is now a thing fo With none to pity and n y At the opera now the boys she wooes And the only qu ne ton the maiden still her task pursues— tion she asks her mash Have you get the (Pittsburgh Chronicte-T Is the simple one, ash?” COMPLETE VINDICATION, A fire occurred in an Arkansaw town the other night, but the chief of the fire de- partment paid no attention to the alarm, The next night he was summoned to appear before the council “Mr. Chief,” said the mayor, “did you hear the fire alarm last night?” “Were you in good health at the time of the alarm Yes, believe I was “Then you acknowledge a willful neg of duty? “Why. were not duty?” Couldn’t get a! Illness in your “No.” “Then, sir, | dem “ Well, yo assel of us fellows were in Anderson back room when the bell rang. I had four aces at the time, and——” sir.” then, did you not respond if you determitied to neglect your amily?” nd the reason.” “Yes, held four a gan to bluff, and— “Tlow did it resul with heightened interest. “Oh, I lifted him for about two hun- dred.” “You don’t say so! Gentlemen, that was doubtless a very interestin C. John Buckner be- *the mayor asked comicbooks.com