Judge — November 7, 1885 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BILL DUNNING. Bill Du Me was a likely lad, dwelt in Du pen Bill at he had done your bill, for you may dun or my vulgar punn Underscored Humanity he population is on the er heard: of an What do you populatio vin-small caps iders- and enthusias- Amenities of the Press, Western journal the sweet flowers of the dividing The ‘esteemed contemporary ” not to be monopolized by the Tribune, the Sua and World. Here is the latest blossown from the Gory Guleh Galoot: “Our esteemed contemporary that claims to be edited by that man wote, Wilkins, who continues to annoy the pablic with hi ly spawn, returns to it a our eastern connection catches on readily to that grow on journalism, racket. is Times and ete. Prompt Piety nt like apple-y ked the land-lady. “Why, cut in large pie served with ¢ replic¢ level-headed boar —0: Hard-Ware. Your coat looks rather dilap- idated, my dear,” observed Mrs. Smithers, liege my love,” “seen too much Vell, but you hi only two months “ Caught ona nail, replied 1 hard wea it new you know.” An Eggs-act Statement. “So you keep hens,’ Hitchcock, who is an’ enthusi tic amateur poulterer, and ride: his hobby on all ions. “Do you get inany egy «No, replied his victim, * not | ‘About how many a day, Oh, two or three.” “Pshaw! why, I used to get | two dozen a day right along when I kept Plymouth Rocks; and now I’ve crossed ’em with Brown Leg- horns, I average nearer three dozen. — Pshaw! only two. or three a day, how many hens do you keep?” “Oh, two or three.” Irate Farwer— and fenced up my orchard and spik guns, and put up signs and warnii what do you call that, eh?” Boy—** Enterpri. THE JUDGE. “Oh Wad Some Power.” Mrs. McHenry and her blooming da Amelia Dumont Mellenry (it is t now, you know, to call yourself by y | name) who live in Elizabeth, ea | city the other day to do their fall |The day was rather warm and | tfenry, who is, as the novels say, “ inclined to embonpoint,” was cons and out of breath when she Throw ing herself vigorous wbout the car te pquaintar sing up to th friends settled at, when tent ly who sat her end of the car, Wh o 1 se | wom * thought M certainly met her somewhere | face is very familiar, — It’s s« to be able to think, bow to her, anyway. | Mrs. Mellenty bowed to the haly lady bowed to Mrs, MeTLer as if both had been struck what belonged to moment. — Mrs. dressed her d: in one of ** “Amelia, do you see the end of the car who sits faci to be talking to one trying, ever since I caught to think who she is or whe I'm sure she doesn’t bel Elizabeth, or I should be her. Perbaps | met her rty the other night. crowd of peop! ny old kin her s called te she her “with nlite society at Arettenes turned of | » the to “T ain't been stealin’, sir.” int, eh? e, sir.” the — hey invite wughter | he our full hi Mr g back her ly. he lon was at the en that and the same qd ad- her rite iC, en elite her. of pmember Insons’ every ng, or not. | hier. woman, | didn’t try to make dressing her hair in re not many ne When I selected this you know, “Yes! Madam must take this style by all Madam has a complexion like a young girl, Shaw’s, means, old.” ir lately 1 wonder who that woman can wha 1 such an enormous round face would what suited her style better than to go. and g herself out in a little, y that. dear me, has on, | bonnet Ji and pretty it is absolutely ridiculous. last Jame Dupont ela and F wish all my customers were like you. you have et is becomin: nor too sm ange, been looki T'd like to know what you call steatin’, then. d the fence and bought a dog and laid man traps and spring s, and then you come in in spite of it all and lng off my fruit ; She would be quite a nice looking So I boy is very becomi beautiful way in which I Yes, that must be where I met think, handsome, if she If look young by that youthful style. faces that can stand ment of the hair over the fore- t front at the hair-dresser said, really her and a face that will never grow it it, and T flatter myself it Mra, Valentine says the arr: my front cs me look ten years } be! an unbecoming bonnet she should think any woman with know pert, turned-ap. It might look coquettish on some young girl, but on her When I decided you know, Amelia, ‘d her hands together my dear Madame, how I I see You have the yw just what —neither too bonnet, “Oh, astudy. You k to your f Hl, but so el Amelia, that now-a different styles that every If really’ artistically if e taste and judgment— Mcllenry! what are you se you've time and WH. A. Be gin the mirror all this yourself.” After I been comicbooks.com