Judge — November 7, 1885 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MAKING FUN OF THE RED FLAG. The German Policeman Does Not Think Communism a Very Serious Thing. By Jalian Balpd, Author of the “ “Officer,” said Reilly, the blacks leaning on his sledge, which in turn rested on his anvil; “you do be always afther having a quieting eftict upon me whin Tam dishturbed wid bad news. Shure, as I have tould ye before, the shmartest mon I know, aven if ye are a Dootchman.” “Last dime vot you dolt me dot, you vonted me your poy to get from der station house owd. Vot do you vont now, frent Reilly? Owd mit ’em und I done it righd fan's German Barter," You are onkind, sorr. I want nothing, sorr, but information. Fwhat do ye think av the threat av the com-mew-nists to arrm thimsilves and kick up the divil’s own riot y,sorr! Did ye rade in the papers about the bloody revolution that’s coming, for eight hours a dey?” “T got me noding: amoos but goot humor und it from such a humbu Ufacommunist or a hundert or dousand gommunists shall fire himself some guns off, der fighding vill peen gwickly ofer. Und vhy vill dot pe, mine frent?” Vos it pe- gause ve got der t bolice fore militia such a growd? No, sir; it vill peen pegause der vorkingmen are not commu- nists, pegause dem haf no neet for violence und pegause dem do not gomblain uf some real griefances alretty “Such a foolish dalk of rioding reminds me ufagupple goot sdories. Vonce on a dime py Chermany, vos a shtupid ignorant feller vich in der Black Forest lived, sur- rounded only mit der sociedy uf bears und foxes und a few charcoa ners und dem vifes und children, e comboser uf music, like Mo draveled through dot voods mit horses und serfants und silks und velvets like a brince, alretty. Dot oxcited der admiration of dot ignorant veller und breyed upon his mind. “If dot vos how a gomboser of moosic got himsellaf along py der vorld,’ sayt he mit himselluf; ‘I, too, vill a grade gomboser peen.’ So he’ safed money for fife vear und burchased a second- | hand fiddle, Ile vent mit dot back py der Forest und sgraped und sgraped avay. Der voodchoppers und charcoal purners grawled on dem bellies ef ighd his hut arount to hear vot he bla und der more dem heard der more dem got gonvinced vot he a grade gomboser vos. his oritch- inal imbression he convinced. At lasd, der whole bobulation py der voods vent to der nearesd city to broclaim to der vorld der grade gomboser. Effery man und vooman py der voods pelieved in dot. Der King heard vot vos coming und gafe up a pig room uf der balace und inwided all der beople uf der whole city, dot vonderful moosie to hear, but so soon vot der vood- | chopper began on his fiddle to sgrape, der Queen fainted, der King sgreamed ploody murder, und vhile von half der bobulation vos laughing to sblit demsellufs der resd vos glimbing owd uf der hall. Dot v no moosic ad all—only a horrible noi Der voodchopper vent berfectly condented to der | Forest back. ‘I am a dremendous gom- hoser,” he “but der beople haf no ears for moosic “Mr. Reilly, it is der same mit our es- HAMILTON | deemed friends, der gommunists. _Sidding togedder trinking peer, effery nighd, year in und year owd, dem hear der same dalk undil dem dink it is der woices uf der beo- ple vot sounds py their ears. But if dem effer shall dry to blay dot moosic for der beople uf der city or der nation, ve shall our s cork up und dell ‘em righd avay toquit, | Iretty. | “Th Chermany, vonce, a grade pig giant ufa feller got mat mit a leedle man und vos going to lick der sduflings owd from him. *I bunch your eves through py der side uf your head,’ der pig veller sayt. Vell, maype dot’s so,’ der leedle chap sayt3 | “but I choost vont you to dake opservations | uf dis,’ he added; ‘dot vhile you are bunch- | ing mea grade deal, I shall be bunching | you a leedle.” “Now, Reilly, got to dake dot sdory | | upsite down, so: Uf der gommunists effer shall dry to fight der resd der folks, vhile dem aré bunching usa leedle ve shall _peen | bunching dem a grade deal. Yah, dot’s so, | alretty.” | OFF THE BENCH. “NORTHERN CAPITAL IN THE SoutH "— Washington, D. C. NEARLY EVERY mother striker on the home ba: is at times a ARCTIC EXPLORING projects are in order with the other frauds at the polls. Nev the ys BGO LONG” on corn at this time of ar. It doesn’t come up in the fall. It Was sap {the eloquent prosecuting attorney that people hang upon his words. “THERE'S STILL cause for thankfulness,” as the lodger said when the cornet-player tarned in. Some POETICAL aspirants are like roller- skaters i have more go than skill, and they frequently lose their feet. WE bo Not see how getic and industrious, ce to play the part of //ebee girl, however ener- qualify her in * Pinafore. It is difficult to s y a game of poker. out usually th tempo, as the Spaniards say, how long it ‘The fellow sit is poker who is raise BASE-BALL PROFESSIONALS are seriously advi on in Can (1 to spend the off se studying sinall-pox. champion cate It is evidently the er. Tue people succeed the late Josh Billings—in orthog: phy, not in wit. AR FIVE (5,000,000) MILLION n this country already in training to COUNTRY PAPERS are now « situation in the Balkans” and freedom of treatment worthy of a col- ored circus-poster. g ‘the with a breadth Gertrupe: You need not be about the new type-setting machine ing composito Your printer-bes no danger. No one can invent a machine that will do the setting-up matter for vou. Jarmed bolish- u is in IN CHURCH AND OUT. 0, Lord, we p That's par And, of the Pour down Hrought, y thee end t all the grain, Incss of thy heart, fous rain, Out. look here, it’s hardt TM spoil my nice new feather! t's the s¢ this uthert Moral, It’s a wise woman knows her own mind @. ©. poveLas. comicbooks.com in|