Judge — October 31, 1885 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE, WHERE IGNORANCE IS BLIS BY JOUN I, WELLINGTON P on the wall and down on the floor, WZ _ Then with « bang ‘gainst the gr TA The poultry flew as the French cooks swore <<, In their anger at one another,” The hotel kitchen was stuffy a Where they blazed away; ‘The fowls were tossed, minus washin, Where they soon commenced to smot put anon r. Dinner was served—and my lady fair, Accepted a leg of the poultry “How delicious it ist” “Oh, 1 dote on the Frenchman's cooking; Little deeming the morsel she duintily scanned Tad served as fanned ‘The breasts of the little so bland In the kitchen when no one was looking missile when a French not? she exclaimed with an air, Boring a Hole, Old Bromly is a ‘very obstinate man.” When his mind is once m up argument is useless. The other « he attempted to bore a hole through a board, when his son Ike, who happened to be passing remarked: “Why, Father, you are turning the auger the wrong ed Mat Mind your own business,” snap; the old man, “I guess I know w I'm about.” “Bat,” persisted Ike, ‘everybody knows an auger should be turned’ from left to right; and you are turning it “Attend to your own affairs, I say,” interrupted his father. “I knew how to use an auger long before you ever had a shirt on.” Finding it useless to talk, Ike moved IN Ws NATIVE STATE the noble red man encases his foot in a moccas- sin; but when on exhibition in a museum he contents himself with a brogue. Fy | 1s other resorts of the of anybody. to conviction. THE STARTLING RUMOR is out that Peck’s bad son is to be put on the turf again. | Let an extra session of Congress be called, to take preventive measures. If it can’t be | stopped any other way, transplant small pox from Montreal to Milwaukee. ] t nd vari stripe come the neare being total abstinence men ‘Thongh connected with reformatories, they are not at all reformers, though. f a A“ sw SoctAnLE” is adiversion where a | t Joseen Hexry Sirorriocse’s nm is entitled * » Puritan Perioc fine of five cents is imposed on a person for each word he or she may utter within a given period, It is most mum when the “given period” comes before the remarks—a full | stop before starting, as Pat would say. pected a crop of s A things when the yacht- We * Puritan's me toa ter that it w ing the toa full stop. ton, insist, stays t that made her com a phan’ most about this business? up for closer inspectic k Brazil n white man tow on, Hfalf'an hour later he passed the place as if on business; the old man was still at it. At the end of another half hour pturned again. There now,” cried the old man trium- tly, pointing to the hole, ‘* who knows T tell. you, you an’t tell me anything about boring holes. But,” he added ruefully, helding the tool , ‘1 honestly be- isthe dullest auger in ieve, Ike, that this he United States, Limited Philanthropy. The new emancipation act in Brazil gives reedom to every slave upon his reaching the ge of sixty. One might be surprised that hey did not pnt the limit of servitude at a sundred years if he did not know that a gro at sixty is as helpless and use- for work, as those forty years older in his country. The philanthrophy of the ‘ds all other shades of hu- manity always twas impressive. Lucid. “1 say. Professor,” said the diligent student in the anatom: class, *T wish you would ¢ plain more fully than the text- book ae nw the sensation of | | nee think the book is sxplicit on the sub- : oderiferous emina- sare borne on the air to the es, und thence rami- | y cham- tion: na fy tl | bers.” Isnt t Oo With a Twist in it. | oo thing to tell You know Mrs. Jalkins, widow of that rich old kins whodied a year or two ago. Well, she asked me to go over with her and look at a gor- geous new house she is pntting | upon Sixty-ninth St. She took | me all around and got ont the plans for me to examine, and when she came away she said she “ was g I liked it, but she wished I conld sce the spinal staircase she was going to have put in, “Well, I don’t see anything funny about that. She probably meant her back stairs,” “Dve got comicbooks.com