Judge — August 22, 1885 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HARD ON THE PUG DOGS. THE GERMAN POLICEMAN SPRAKS HIS MIND ABOUT THE MORMONS ALSO, By Julian Ralpd, Author cf the The German Policeman sauntered along on his post (it was after ten o’clock at night) and when he reached Second Avenue, he pretty servant maid rush out of the way of brown. stone hou here; vot’s der row? kitchen poiler buste **Wurrse than that, sir,” said the maid. “Olt vooman got a doot-ache?” “ Wurrse than that, sir.” goin’ ter die? n that, sir; the pug dog is terrible fit, sir, an’ we don’t know what to do at all, at_all—the poor little nd the missis most crazy. Der pue! k dog is zick, © to vent for serdooil 5 Vell, dot vas too pad. But, see here, mine t vooman, ven you shall got marrit: und We down, do you know vot you must do se me, eh?” ©, sit; but I'm willin’ to larn.” “Vell, tond you haf a puck dog, uf you “he asked; THE Mr. Oppe: the ly, the blacksmith Mornvon qnestic A. when th ny to then cup, Mr. ‘The Mormons are a rich and prosperous | orr, and they foind that Mormonism | \ MORMONS MUST REFORM, butche were dis Just as he hy said: id the German | Policeman, alt “py Chiminy Hooky! my frent, nf you effcr go in asbe lation und it ton’d bay any bedder as. der Mormon peezness, I bitty yon. ‘Tho mon fellers got farms und blendy , but dem arc ncking aguinsl Brov. ‘und dot y to bay in der long Brovidence is shlow und der Mormons ta good ding so long vot dem dink eeb, but von day she vill oben von “Oh, it bays. she is Renee THE JUDGE, Sun's German Barter, ett." blease, choost got a baby, to oplige me. Uf you haf to adwerdize for von, or borrow von uf an orphan asylum, or marry a vidower vots got von py his firsd vife, blease got a ba wt, natural, healthy, honest nd shower ont, your tmadernal jog.” & pug dogs is fer the fashiona- Now, your dalk your mout. il avay owd from You peen choost righd. Ut you aind a yoo . but choost a pun- Ule uf aches und airs, und nonsense und fine thes, go righd avay und get a pack dog | und dress it up like a monkey —und hug and | kiss it, und got der docdor for it und make | alecdle fool uf der dog und a pig fool py yourself, but if you + Hesh-und- | plood vooman, dake my und uf you | can’d haf a baby to be ® mother to, tond make pelief pecn a mother to a puck | contradiction of his app | have expected large views expr | plan of the garden didnot eye at “om tind den it wenld peen bedder uf they neffer vi | Der slafel vos dwenty-fife voke up und for titery ‘slafe dem hat dem losd a dozen. vhite 'men‘und ten ¢ nd dollars, Yoost der game it vill peen mit der Mormons. “Der Mormon relitchion is pilt on der ruin und disgrace of voomans und der wreck uf decency. Uli “reform und vipe owd Mormonism, Ungle Sam vill dake der agency for Brovidence und vipe it owd— und vipe a few dousand Mormons owd along mit it. “Tt may pe negst year, or, like slafery, der ding may grawl along a huandert year, but Brovidence has got to vin der game. A hnndert ye or gupple uf see- onds on ¢ uf Brovidence. — Der : weef shlow on dat glock, Misder Reilly, but dem neffer shtop moofing. Mr. Humphry. A strange figure approached along the curving path towards the seat which 1 ocen- pied in the Public Garden. He was made up of curves and rolled rather than, walke and the earth trembled beneath the ponde His back rose in an immense hump, forming « mountainous back-gr to his derby; the bridge of his no: are, his broad double chin and retund suggested good living, his short legs bowed out in harmony with the prevailing outlines, and his stout, stubby boots were As he swayed down upon the bench and removed his I noticed that his forehead bulged prominently, and the drops of sweat upon it sugge water on the brain, ven his finger nails were little hammocks. I had no hesitation in addressing this stranger, who was anything but the dean ideal of a man, as Mr. Tum phrey, nor was I disappointed when. he re- sponded to my salutation in a rotund vox In the desultory talk which followed was more than ever convinced of the dis- parity between mind and matter, bul- ky and bulging friend flat One mig! t din well- iods, or perhaps some cireumlo- nner of statement. The oppo- Ilis views were angular and straight and pointed. T' France. rounded pei cution in im site was tru his expressiot he would have had the walks laid out in stra and at right angles; the oval and 7 flower beds shonld have been r rectangles. The tre ful for shade, but uot ple of their foliage; the flag-pole was to be vreferred as an object of symmetry. ‘The architecture ofachurch in the distance—a ion of the oriental style, was palsies (6 his fancy as the liberal religion of its worshippers.“ ‘They have deserted the narrow way t leadeth to the straight gate,” said h “Humph!” [ejaculated as I away, and caught his rejoinder, that’s flat.” in he deemed ing in the turned ‘Well, TORY. In the interest of Public Morals. ‘The La Farge suit has resulted in recog- nition of the principle that an artist has the right to control photographs of his models and protect them from public exposure. This will, perhaps, be joyful news f ’ abashed actresses and society women whose pictures are recklessly exposed for sale by obdurate photographet The latter should certainly hold these portraits in the light of a patient's revelations to her physi- sicians; and otherwise not hold them in the light at all. comicbooks.com