Judge — August 15, 1885 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. SHOOT HIM ON THE SPOT. It is an inexplicable thing that for thirty | years an army of rebels has been encamped A DEMOCRATIC DISGRUNTLED DIRGE. Sold! sold! sold! i} on our soil, openly defying the laws of the | goa py the man w cial country, and no one can be found with suf-| Of whom we all expected— THE. JUDGE. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. One copy. one year, oF SE bambers One copy, sf months, oF 3 nam One copy, fur 13. THE JUDGE pies Weents each: PUBLISHING COMPANY, 324, 326 and 328 Pearl Ste, NEW YORK. TO CORRES! ‘S$ AND CONTRIBUTER: TAKE NOTCH THAT THEY Warne ror sesp ds 46 SOT APPTXED BY THE WRITER, QUEST CLADE FOR REXENERATION WILL ME ENTERTAINED. WHERE APART OSLY OF CONTRIDCTIONS [8 CSK0, THAT FART WILL 8 PhO WATA OS THE FRICE AGREED CPUS POR THE WHOLE A FELL DESIGN. With nearly 500 million dollars hid in the ;. Treasury, with gold practically cor- in New York banks, and paper circu- ‘ed to less than one half what it rs ago, per capita, the banks are organizing a squeeze to compel congress to —the only relief of con- U. nere lation redu Ww ye stop silver coina; traction. If the design can be accomplished, it will reduce all values to an absolute gold b: and give the holders of gold their will of the entire country. All the predictions of disaster that must result from silver coinuge, with which the EI Mahdis of finance have filled the country any day the past seven years, have been falsi- fied. And still the Jeremiahs stand on the walls of Manhattan, and like the cherubim and seraphim, “continually do cry.” Col. Ingersoll ought to supplement his lecture with one on ‘The Mistakes of Dives.” This country never has been able to trans- act business long under a gold currency and it is doubtful if it could again stand a retorn to it. ‘The great business booms have all flourished under a paper or silver currency. On the other hand, the panic of ’73 was caused by the demoralization of silver. Well ma youth silver fostered her, and she will protect it against the fell designs of the monometallic, gold-cornering destroyor. y Columbia say, then, that in her | ficient grit to squelch them. We have lately seen the Mormons haul down and trample on the American flag, and no one stirs to resent the insult. There seems to be one power that the United States is afraid of, and that isa handful of incestuous blasphemers. | Our administration’s new vigorous policy | seems to begin and end in the jocose and somewhat too significant remark of Mr. Cleveland, ‘* Why can’t you folks in Utah do as we do EXTERMINATION BY CONTRACT. — | ‘The surest way to perpetuate a vice is to | sive some one a chance to make money by not suppressing it. ‘The Indian ward is a rich placer for contractors, agents, inspec- tors und lobbyists to work. Got to, then, you who say that the Indian must go. Rather let him be carefully fed and fostered. He’s a big thing for the poor white man. | No one has been able to meet this problem, for the reason that all plans fail to provide any means for exterminating the uncertain white man. Jently we shall accomplish nothing until we can enlist men’s cupidity in some plan for getting rid at once of the Indian and all his white friends, aids and abetters, Inthe absence of any original plan of extermination, why not adapt one of the means of destruction that have been tried and tested on white men? Put out all the agents and lobbyists and give our eastern Buddensieks contracts to build tenements with all the ‘latest improvements.” Put the Indians in their little cribs, and as the Irish alderman said about the gondolas, ‘let | nature take her coorse.” RULINGS. Panty ornGans are busy furnishing “ good names for the ticket.” So they ought, for the other fellows will be equally busy giving the ticket a bad name after the con- vention. Ir Jonn Brown’s soul is marching on, will he lead the Republican canvas in Vir- ginia and help elect old Gov. Wise’s son? | A ‘THOROUGHBRED ” seems to mean the wickedest kicker in the Democratic party. Some men’s interest in the death and obse- quies of Grant seemed to be limited to a grab for funeral baked meats, ‘Thrift, thrift, Horatio!” | Sold. Our applicat High hopes f The bourbons left, sore, di ns all rejected, om their true course detlected affected, Out in the cold and discon: Sold, sold, sold! Sold! sold! soldt this Cleveland whom we trusted, sand progranmnes flatly busted— Sold, sold, sold! ‘The offices for which we lusted, To Mugwump corme justed; Republicans, who sh usted, Retained, the Bourbons all disg Sold, sold, sold! usted — Sold! sold! sold! Sold by this Cleveland whom we rated A1, and President created— Sold, sold, sold! we waited were so elated ar man won—now find we're slated For nix, our craving all unsated— Sold, sold, sold! Sold! sold! s Are we who late were so exalted, By Cleveland who has foul defaulted— Sold, sold, sold! Aye, Bourbons of th ted Aremashed, as'twere—sour-mashed— or malted; Unceremoniously halted Were the high horses which we vaulted- Sold, sold, sold! Sold! sold! sold! Sold out, and by t Jehovah, Delivered up by Cleveland, Grover— Sold, sold, sold! Ho, Bourbons, who should live in clover, Gainst this political Red Rover An action let us bring of trover, And get our own or throw him over— Throw him over! Objectionable Jewelry. A correspondent noting the superstition that pearls as a wedding gift bring bad luck, asks what stones are held in like distrust. It is, we believe, bad luck to have Parisian diamonds and Brazilian stones given yot it is not good form for a lover to inake his adored a present of traprock, and to throw after a wedding party offerings of quartz and hornblende, is held to be unfortunate by many people. In the line of jewelry, it is a bad sign to give a bank-president a chain or bracelet, especially if they are made of the steel some- time in vogue for ornaments. There are many other superstitions in connection with jewelry—such as refusing to wear ornaments that have been pawned in consequence of the owner’s distress. | When you economi- cally make a present of such an article, you should gently and unostentatiously remove the pawnbroker’s ticket. It is equally a bad sign to leave the seller’s cost mark on bridal presents rented for the occasion; and ‘Things are getting a little confused, down | one of the worst omens of bad luck toa hap- South. Where are we now, and who's who? | py pair is a check against imaginary deposits. 7 ¥ comicbooks.com