Judge — July 4, 1885 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Hh } — = | = parerigignaer = a | THE JUDGE. 3 Me, | | oo = = tg | | Queer Quidbles. | ‘ (A | A dime museam “freak "—putting the iS | gitimate drama on its stage. ‘The autobiographical writer onght-to-be- - a-graphical and interesting scribe, but he | | i | seldom is. i | Cana blind man see out of his mind's || \ The dead-broke youthlet who sponged aronnd; He. Without a cent his heart to eleer:— i A | nies—sits on the ground, | {Ve | ‘omes a fin-ant-sce’r. | y ‘Tis hard to write of marble halls | A western brewer's name is Chris, Adam. | And spend one’s nights in palace walls, All people don’t to the water-cock for Where ever musically falls | Adam's Ale” in that locality A fountain cool and slay: The Ticket o’ Leave Man"—an office- | . pat th seeker with one of Cleveland’s appointments b | 1 ft in his pocket to go abroad, | i Hall bed-room when 4 wiped your pen a ae nse | . And owing your landlady An for an ‘i,’ and a ‘2nd.’ for a NY | “Tia Tinka toi wetteor waned * 2th,’ as the typo said while correcting some | | | With vianils riel atid will boars’ head, with him he ever had, and 1 matter: | { | Where wi se. and burdeels fel) pad the buteher weigh him,” The man who spends a dime for “tmdg | | While y peruller; “Oh, he hain’t got no scales to weigh Had better with it buy Tae Jener:, Much cust requires the brain | trout with, He uwin’t no fisherman, they yuny \ . | A To write about a courtly trai | buteher ain't.” blown of iy race-—eliasing ‘one’s atifl” hat; | oy | When only small beers teft to gain “ But our own scales only made him weigh | Vown off on a windy day. \| if | “The pageant life and color, twa pour and a half, pop.” Yung Hock, a Chinaman, was murdered ! 1] . uae oratl | “Eh?—what? Gracious! [hadn't any in New York the other day. Old Hock, the iy y | Selon aun | idea trouts shrunk like that, Bob. : an, is ‘still in | atte olt 5 | e fromm | must have made a mistake, and the butcher, | bawn shop stant on te Powery,” however. Hy | In the way of a lt | i 3 { | Penned by a waning taper, ie 6:-wo dnt Come Ee The stormy, frosty winter days; { | T think it is to fancy 1 lan yeaa ne and weigh | Have shuflled down the Past, aud gone; | || Mave werd an hciress on the s The thing was getting tiresome to old | (And ‘tis now th side hotel clork polishes a And, waking, find the marti Parker now, and he blurted out: up his Lake G » diamond, and while |! f/ le on papert 1, L don’t care what he weighs now. thinking of his Nov. to June low rate of ral | Pasta Dutascy Puasox. | [only know what he did weigh yesterday. | w: realizing that his services are Pal | Now clear out, and let me read in‘peace.” now indisper rikes his ** boss” for i Old Parker's Trout. Hopeful, from his point of retreat, the The Me erian, sal’ry raise,” A. a doorway, switched suddenly from mundane ielore the sammer's ade beam) in | Old Parker, deep in the leading editorial | Bround to celestial. A jd Parker, deep e leading editorial | 8roNn' ‘A coms | | the Bunadarte i : ly “There won't no fishermen go to heaven, |, ‘ This new pollytickle charge of offensi- Bhi ll] fodaneeeies wha oe ; tive partitionship fills all the clerks in Wash. || \ ha pipe ies ante a * Clear out!” roared his dad, “or 'I—”| ington with great trepsidation just now,” |. — what d's a sv that trout weighed, the bible says no li—” | quoth Mrs, Smitherkins; “+ why, they w bS SOL ROne: poande: tives ker bounced to a perpendicular, | afraid to describe any money for firing a sa- || ag quarters, Bob. [t's a whacker, isn’t. it? | but Bob bounded away like a black-tail buck | lute to Senator Logan, and a ten-cent pres | | iy: |, | Phat waa-th ct weight when taken ont | of the Bad Lands, the sire settling down to | scription had to be raised in the rural ine || \ 1 | eethe eaten? | the pabulum offered by his favorite paper, | stinets and city superbs for the purpose. | \p | “Do trouts go back on themselves, pop, | the Bungstarter, SE SLOKUM. | WP, JOSLYN. is | wh "re ketchee \- — - || ug | * Go back on themselves? What do you | REVENGE IS SWEET. | if |} mean by that, Bobs 7 “Do th a pound or two apiece i} over night? | | “Lose that much in weight, I s'pose you | ian mean? Bless you, no. ‘They shrink some {| its in weight, L s’pose, of course.” HS | “Tow much had a four-pound-three- | ounces-and-three quarters trout’ oughter lose, pop, “tween last night and now?” | ' N “Qh, the odd oun haps. “No'more'n that? ‘Then eome one’s been ‘an here und played roots on us, pop, and took ie our trout and left a snide.” | i “Nonsense, Bob. | “Nonsense nothing, pop. The trout | eid j that’s out there now don’t weigh only two ie |. pounds and seven ounces. Why don’t you ea || come ont and look at him, and sce ‘f he’s | your'n, Would you know the one you | ketched, pop, by sight?” i i | “Know him? of conrse—know him uny- rm.) | where.” oa | Come and look at this one, then, ’eause ai | some one’s played a snide on us, pop.” } “Nonsense, I tell you again. Your ; | mother’s probably cleaned it, Bob, which a, | accounts for the shrinkage.” f i) q | “No, she hasn’t, pop; the trout’s got all | (he i | BES comicbooks.com