Judge — June 27, 1885 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ue house? Smith’s Cake. “Madam, you don’t know how to make cake,” imed Mr. Smith, throwing a lump of lough across the room “You never knew how to make cake. ‘d rather eat wet saw dust. You ought to have scen the cake my mother made—that was cake.” “Your mother again, al mother,” retorted Mra. Smith. didn’t teach you something.” “What do you mean, madam? rant I'll make better cake my any day. a your Pil war- * Why don’t you try? thing in the kitchen.” “Well, T can.” “Well, why don’t you. talk.” Smith You'll find every- You are all found himself cornered, and felt ) he had either to sur- render unconditionally or to make good his e had never made a cake in his no idea of how they were compounded thought he knew what was in them, *T'll make the cake,” he said. WW: ome right into the kitchen and make it,” replied fis wife. “What, now?” “Yes, now. I'll get the things for you.” Smith took off his coat, his collar and “Pity: she elf than you, | had | but | THE JUDGE. neck-tie, and rolled up his shirt sleeves. The Iked to the kitchen together, and Smith said “What shall I mix it in?” Ware you’re doing it,” Mrs. Smith re- plied. : “Ah, this will do,” he said, taking the chopping bowl. ‘Now bring me some water; now some raisins and currants, mo- lasses and ginger and allspice. There, that will do.” He put them all in a chopping bowl and iaised them up with a spoon, “They don’t seem to stick together,” he | How aarsons rai At their **futui at brokers, options,” ** corners,” + Puts and calls ;” but let these stokers Of the pulpit—most are fawners— Get an adv Higher pay for service sma How they'll“ put” and shake the mourners! Expansive Art. Three Dutchmen have been employed to paint the battle of Ch mission from the ¢ be free and expans the untrammeled West. They do it by the square rod and have contracted for several hundred pounds of paint. No expense or muscle are to be spared to make this the greatest painting on the continent outside of the patent medicine advertisements on the Rockies, | get for your serv What He Got. “Well, I’ve won your case, won the pi of the land, the pig and the cow,” said | yer Sharp to his client, Farmer Green. ** So?” said the farmer, ‘now what do you | ),”” answered the eof the land, legal luminary, ‘1 get th the pig, and the cow.” ¢ farmer has been soliloquizing for nearly a week, and has just come to the conclusion that he got left. A Fair Phillistine. Miss Bullion attends a Wagner concert at Chickering Hall Miss B.—‘*I see the first thing on the pregame is the overture from ‘ Dic Wall- uere.” Do you know I just dote on that. Its one of my favorite pieces. How I wish they would begin and get through tuning up.” | Brutal Friend—*‘ That’s the overture you | hear.” I guess yon ean oblige said,‘ Looks more like a thick soup than anything else, Guess I've got too much water on.” Smith drained some of the water off, and was about to pour the cake into a pan, when his wife said: Didn’t your mother use flour? “Oh yes, yes! ah, yes; flour, of course.” Then he mixed in flour until it was so stiff that he could hardly knead it. “Now,” said he, “I'll take this cake around to the bakers and have it baked proper! Zi Tle bake , ted off, and when he reached the Will you just throw this stuff away, « put in its place one of your best fruit cakes? That night at supper Mrs. Smith had her mother and sister with her, had told them of the , and they were expecting reat fun at Smith's expense, ie cake In’t come until supper time. Smith took ek id said: e; something like a cake.” eoutand placed it on the “ ITere’s a note in the paper,” said Mrs. Smith, “Vl read it: “Dear Mr, Smit Tam sorry we a you a jelly-cake inst all out of plum cake, so I send ours, S. Brown, Baker.’ " W, R, BENJAMIN, A man went t And fearful si So in terror’s ain a barque, rew he 1 the darque; mpedd he Mora on the definite, An Optical Allusion. Mr. Fi of Ludlow street ened Mr. Ward, of th to “black his eye,” to match his char- acter. This strained relation grew out of the wreck on the Fishing banks some time ago. Why not serve the ends of j by turning the listinguished financ into Madison Square Garden to bestow mu- tnal ocular pigment—the gate money to go to the depositors of the Marine Bank and Grant & Ward? ail, threat- me academic shades Iaeensenaanonocaemaen comicbooks.com