Judge — June 6, 1885 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TH E JUDGE. ON THE ROAD. The Children of Israel are Wiser than the Children of Mammon. Arriving in Milwankee, we then put up at the Shingleton | known to the commercial mis- Ye drummer knows a good inn when he strikes one, and always patronizes the same house, provided he has not on a previous trip injured his credit with mine host. It sometimes will happen that by reason of a man’s holding a king fall against four deuce such little matter, he may run so dross as to render a surreptitious departure necessary, but | this some other equally powerful, is required to drive him to ** the other hou By the way, in every town, however small, there is always ‘the other house.” Your hotel clerk never was known to speak of the competing tavern as the Chicken House or the Slaughter House, but alway; “the other house.” But, to return to our spring lamb and green . We regis- tered, wero ass our rooms, and had supper. On leaving the dining room, Josh Brown ran up arival of his, one M Lazarus, whom he was kind euough to introdu This individual» Irish in feature a name. Ilia brogue was in perfect ke Mr. ed to be ta The tales with which he sought to entertain us were shady as to color, and chestnutty as to age, besides there was 80 much of the first person singular ubout them, that at the end of a half hour I was glad to make an excuse and escape. ntlemen, I must you,” I 1, © writinga letter, I shall take a bath and go to bec “Vat!” ejaculated Lazarus, ‘take a bath in vinte and to tell the unvarni the coflin-man looked as though his annual ab- lution was performed on the Fourth of July. This was in January, Soon after I had departed, Cusby, likewise yearning for liberty, remarked: “It’s horribly cold, Josh. Really, it amounts to cruelty to animals to hang out a thermometer such weather as is this, I'm going to buy an ulster, my overcoat isn’t heavy enough,” V'll go with you,” said Josh promptly, glad to de- materialize himself. “And so vill I,” chimed in the agrecable Lazariis, “T know a man that will fit you out sheap.” ‘They inade a vigorous attempt to shake the Hebrew, but it conldn’t be done. ‘He picked after and snaked onto them for keeps, and under his guidance they ar- rived, ina short time, at the clothing emporium of Pollack Bros., a dimly lighted dive on a side street. “* Dose shentlemans is vriends ob mine, Pol Lazarus said, by way of introduction, ‘I vant you to sell dem sheap. “Abate thee, good Moses,” quoth Gus, want neither ram, lamb, sheep, or mutton, Ido but lack a gaberd I pray you, therefore,” to Pollack, ‘trot me out arment which doth my youth, my complexion and my calling well be: T am one, forsooth, who drummeth, albeit not with a drum, 5 nd mark you well, Tamamasher. [am one who goeth up and down the curth like a roaring lion, seeking whom I may devour, wherefore I an it please thee, let the garment be toney, let it be warm, and it fit thy mood, let it be cheap.” “Thave chust vat you vant, and—vat is your name, mine friendt?” “ My name is Cusby, an’ it please thee, good J “Guapy, Guspy—tid you know my prudder Ap He is tead now.” » was a Quaker, wasn’t he interrupted Josh. 0; he vasn’t a Quavaker, he u Chew, like me,” responded uspy, the very last vorts my prudder suit before he “Ike, if Mr. Guspy comes by the shtore, sell him sheap,” and ven he sait dat he tied.” he affectionate brether wiped an inary tear and went on, ‘Here, Mr. Guspy, ster sell you for twendy fife tollars. It gost me thirdy hellup Dis goat is all vool bud the buddons ant the bud- shricked the Semite, gost me twventy.” “Didst say but now it thee thirty, Vil give thee Casby and Pollack had it and forth for fv teen minutes, wh last Pollack, taki by by the elbow, ered in his ear: Til let you peautiful uldster for en tollars, Mr. Gusy My prudder you sheap, but my wife isin the room back of the shd and she ha: heardt tesease. If s know [ soldt that for sefen tol vould tie, Pay vant take ita it now, Gu you had better take hond-me-down. enoug aid So the money was paid and the ulster pped up. Gus and Josh then returned to the Shingle- ton without Lazarus, however, that worthy ring, no doubt, to light of the hotel lobby, it was found to bea very job lot indeed in several respects, but the worst thing about it was the moth holes with which it was perforated. Gus was red hot about it. ‘A regular Sheeny ; dosh,” he said, ‘ let’s go back and clean the Hebrew out.”” ‘ollack, you're a rank swindler,” Gu. English, when he and Josh again found themselves in the slop shop, you're thief enough to rob a grave-yard, chase away the mourners and eat the cor} k specimen of tr . The clothier’s manner had undergone an alteration since th interview, and he refused emphatically to accede to Cusb demand, but condescended to ask what was the matter with in plain. modern Give me my money and take buck your infernal wiss cheese, or whatever the thing is.” «The matter is that the rotten thing is full of moths, you mis- _ *** Mots,’ do yon say,” indignantly interrupted the Jew, “ Mots! Vat do you egspect to vind ina seven tollar overgoat?) Humming kept the money and Gus the ulster. comicbooks.com