Judge — June 6, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ING UP TC « Mercury rose from its little cell nd a tear shone its eye As it saw the sun, for it knew full well That the hour for work was ni It had long been havin Sut n easy time, >w must prepare for a lofty climb, It ished for the hours of leisure fled: As the Price of Ice went by, And the latter paused on its way My fricnd, what me that T heard you were ill some tim Indeed, 1 believe you were very low ny health, ul. said the Mercury, t wiped away a tear: “It isn't my health that troubles me, But ny climbs ar. nL elimt . with no one nl high, said the Price of Lee, welcome your climbing weather T ne'er went back on a So we'll both el sh as yo stay by your on't fret, old friend yet, Climb as | like Fil climb with 9 cull the st piner throu [Boston Cc OYEZ! OY —Be flirtuous and you will be s [Te —The seven wonders of the Democracy — the cabinet. —[St. Paul Herald. —Are the siken tassels on corn, of the rain quality?—[St. Paul Heral PPy. a Siftings. —In the bright lexicon of favorite word is fail.—[St. DP. la Wheeler's new poem on malaria is red no great shak [St Paul Herald, —Suitable motto for plumbe nd under- takers—Down with the dust.—[Peck’s Sun, —If wheat is not a blooming plant, where does the flour come from? (Merchant Traveler. —A ns will be covered with Russian leather this season,” is the latest fashion item,.—[St. Paul Herald. —If Winter and Spri re not doing the Siamese twin act this year they should take out their advertisement, [Merchant Traveler, —Camel riding and tobogganing should be ng pre} for the y Orleans Picayune. —Hlenry Irving said the steamer that carried him home from America “acted Imirably, Henry Irvin and the Steamship Co, is think- g the name of the vessel to .—[ Merchant Traveler. —A Boston man, who believes in elevated railways, says the horse cars must go. We are ghul to hear it. If he can make them go it is something their drivers can't do. [Boston Courier. —A recent medical chloride of gold for « Why, that is old. Ever the first breach of promise case, gold has proved an unfailing specific for a lace purnal recommends tain cardiac dise —Very little is said about Queen Victoria self over the Afghanistan back- ‘zyptian scoop, and Riel rebellion, down, THE JUDGE, or the Irish difficulties, but she is suffering a severe nervous shock and is * ccedingly angry,” because a few ladies ap- | peared at a recent “ drawing-room” without white gloves on. ~ [Merchant ‘Traveler, A lover is next door to Simpkins, “Yes, th who was engaged to Simpkins’ sister. Simpkins kicked the dog down. stai went out and got drunk.—[Sam. a fool,” said Brown, Then and —And now the poct hies him forth, to ramble thro’ the wood, and, if dog's within amile, the poet's chance is good to travel homeward bleedi with his manly form chewed up, and halfof his spring trousers in possession of the pup.—[Peck’s Sun, —It is no longer called skating, it is gnated revolving, says an exchange. If this be so then the skaters are revolvers, Adopting this view of the subject it is easy to understand why there are so. many elope ments from the rinks; the revolvers go off as it were.—[Boston Courier. —Queen Victoria, says a writer, has had to al during her life. She re- If then, for her rules of etiquette are so rigid that ladies who wish to attend | drawing rooms must bare a great deal too. [Boston Courier. a,” said little Tommy, ‘do the In- jins’ own the railroads? No, my son.” ** Well, they’ve got somethin’ to do with them, ‘cos pa says he bought his ticket off a sealper.”—[St. Paul Herald. * Why don’t vou have the floor of your rink flagged or tiled instead of wood? r dude reporter of the mans Exposition rink. “Couldn't: afford it. time HM, “What makes you think that “ty constant dropping wears away aul Herald. ked r of the Wouldn't last any — Bob, you're ‘out’ with Miss | Parsons, ain't you?” ‘Yes, Joe.” What | happenec She's experimenting too lavishly srimenting? What at?” “Trying to ture freckles by eating 1 Vell, why ought you to care?” “Oh, I don’t, provided it’s at some other fellow’s expense, It was costing me a dollar and a half a freekle.”"— [Philadelphia Call. FUN FOR THE RAILROAD COMPANY. « Balk: horse passe remarked a Ikative ee ‘yes, I've had a little perience with them.” ‘They are not casy things to handle, It is mighty hard work for a man to drive a balky and to be a | Christian ame time. I tried it years a bad job. ” But having a s to make and make » Ldid, as a horse that I you him laugh—to please him him right down happy? and Twas the man. He had traded for—got rid of a spavined, blind stagger nag that swap—and he was an awful balker, ‘There wasn’t no use of doing any- thing with him—there was nothing to do but just sit down and wait for him to come around, It generally took two hours. One day Lwas driving him along and just as we the railroad track he — balked. “Here's ago,’ says Ito myself; ‘what if a tr: would come, then after a while [didn’t care s whether one came or not, and in abont minutes Tw raid one wouldn’t come. I just ached to have a train come “Damue! Dam-ne!” The drummer | could not stand it any lo: Ile roseright | | up out af his leather covered seat and || 13 || = oe \| along. I prayed for one. pretty soon [saw one coming. It made me | sn When the engineer whistled for me to get off the track I laughed. And when | he gota little closer I climbed out the hind Sure enongh, | | end of the buggy, leaned up against the fence and prepared to enjoy the picnic. Oh, but it was s That" balky horse had sworn he wouldn't go but he went that time. He distributed all along the track there for 20 rods. And the old bug nd harne Never had such fun ther expensive fun, wasn’t it?” “Yes, for the railroad company. I sued em for ind the jury of farmers gave Oh, but it was fun! ”—[Ex. A COMEDY OF ERRORS. Down on the 1. B. & W. Railroad, which nasees through the worst parts of eastern Hinois and Indiana, where the people go barefooted eight months out of the twelve nd live in well-built pig-stys, the names of the stations are not remarkable for either politencss or agrecableness of enphony. A very excitable drummer from Bloomington was on one of the trains of this road the other day, and was not at all ed with the roughness of the track, and not being a reserved young man, expressed himself quite fred “Well,” said he, “if I had to ri¢ this road to get to heaven, Tam afr: would backslide before I reached station.” “Never fear young man,” said a sad, billious-looking fellow. ‘+ If you don’t go to heaven on this read, it will be because you have not made your peace with God. There | is no doubt but what we all will go over a a bank and get a’chance before long Just then, a brakeman poked his head in | the door and shouted: * Beteherlie! Betcherl “TH bet you are another!” snorted the hasty drumme “Tf Vl lie, this read will murder,” but the brakeman did not seem to want a fuss and wentaway, When the whistle was sounded again, however, he came to the door and looking straight at the drummer roared: howled: “Damn you, and see how you like it! If | you come swearing around me any more, I will thrash the eternal lights out of you, I think this road is tough enough without a t of golblamed blasphemers to run_ its trains,” and just as he was cooling down a little, the brakeman shouted from the rear door: “ Holloway “T will howl aw please,” and looked nd the drummer replied: || as much as I blank mad enow at pie (Through Mail. A WORD OR TWO ON A POSTAL CARD. She walked np and down the corridors of for ten or fifteen minutes be- of a citizen who was directing where is it to go to?” ssions, at Cleveland, Put I sometimes forget it, John S . after his name nd it makes him me ** Your husband? “Of course. When I want a postal card written toa strange man it will bea cold comicbooks.com