Judge — May 23, 1885 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

to pull and kick, Pattin’ and smoothin: and coaxin’ and swearin didn’t do no good for, speakin’ in parable, that there leg jest got its back up and in spite of all [ could do it | made for the door and, of course, I had to along, too, But befure [I got there, lund o' Goshen! what do you s'poze I saw? | Why there was my leg comin’ lickity split straight for the bar a draggin’ that poor Chuplain [did kinder feel it was purty tough on me, first off, and [acknowledge I did cuss the Chaplain’s leg for a season, and I allow [ thought the Chaplain had got the best of the bargun, but my eyes wasn’t opened then, I was a poor blind sinner and weds idols and the lusts of the flesh, now, I've been converted and all on pant of that € n’s leg. You see, every Sun- day that leg would march me off to charch and by degrees it got the bulge on me, ant controlled me more,and more, until I got to goin’ toall the religious meetin’s, and finally, to make a long story short, I jined the Salva- tion Army and now I'm ‘a devotin’ my re- mainin” year to savin’ souls. * What became of the Chaplain? almost forgot that. The fact is that leg of mine seemed to have a bad influence over the poor fellow, He got into. bad company and took to drinkin and the last I heard my leg ie : lin astriped uniform asettin’ ona pile of stones and I guess the Chaplain was a settin’ behind it, poor fellow! Iowdo T neile that tu a kind Provi- dene Well, [don’t her, Mine poor, finite mind and I told you, first off, that the ways of Providence was inscrutable Paint 80, 0, 1 and [for one don't: try to. sernte wonder if they've got any eloves he I must be off toa Hilleliaja Meetin’, go alton Well, good by sl to my THE JUDGE. YE MARINERS FROM ENGLAND. Ye mariners from En unt our native lag has braved a thousand years | he battle and the b F swift steam launch send out again | To match a swimming foe Who sweeps thro the deep, Garnet” far below, | The While the bos'n roars both loud and deep, | blow. And the officer: The spirits of your fa hall start from every For the deck it was their field of fame And Ocean v But those blooe When Boyton comes below To sweep through the dep With his rubber w my heyes!” (in wild surprise) awn't do that, chew know ” s their grave will leave their beds in tow, Britania needs no bulwarks, No towers along the steep; Her march is on th tain waves, Her son the deep: But thu ts from her nativ Can't reach t He's a rower from the sh With a rubber tx When the battle raze Your v mi me < Ind and long h hell blow OFF THE BENCH. ‘AN incident of hotel life ’—paying the bill. How can a tourist be said to ‘ get off cn teamer, slescent, his doctors are is “* tired.” GRaxt 1s con .” the publi Do the secret dak and midnight hags” consort in the mystie Flats? BARreL-MAKING would seem to be the best line of work fur cooperation, Ir the tramp is a way-journer, doesn’t he belong to the industrial class, the earners? Witit 50,000 skating rinks ‘in her midst” thia country may be said to be rapidly settling to hard pan. Rossa declares that the press of New York is ** decidedly English.” Newspaper En- gliah,” "Donovan? Tue intestinal troubles in Central Ameri are doubtless dne to the damoge to the cending Colon, when it went up in flmes. | card into the ship's Hand, so he slipy 7 thought Boyton was aimerman. It was a mere sell. land, | British seamen bold should not be so torped-o. An Englishman has so little sense of rthat none of them appreciates that eof Boyton They could if he had really made it practical and exploded a tor- pedo there; can’t get a joke im with a torpedo. Boyton loaded his ‘ Quaker” torpedo with brick. This was his card—** A Perfect Brick.” It was not convenient to slip his it under her bottom, Though Boyton went under he certainly did not fail. The officers of the “Garnet” were cer- tainly very quiet about Boyton’s bag. A rubber of whist, evidently. The vessel’s Hand was not well played, though. | Timely Sympathy. Philadelphia ie an odd place, and has odd ways. Once in a while one of its citizens demises, and, on the day of the funeral, the | dead man’s coffin is placed in the back room, the street door thrown open, ane the friends assemble in the front parlor. Such was the case the other day, and a waiting group in that department only desired the presence of the clergyman for the perform. ance to goon. A measured tread was heard in the hall, and a tall, stately figure entered to the center of the reom, and looned blandly around upon the company, who all to their fect. He spoke, ** Are any gentlemen troubled with corns taking from his pocket a small have here a most invaluable only twenty-five cents.” The intervention of the sexton. prevented aneruption. ‘On with the dance. — Let joy be unconfine of Ir weific. Price Lights From the “Garnet.” Capt. Boyton’s hogns torpedo scare bourd IL. M.S. © Garnet recalls the battle of the kegs in Revolutionary times. “British walls of oak” rersus Yankee coats of rubber. Britain rules on the se merica under it. While the English man-of-war walks the water like a thing of life, the Yankee man of rubber and torpedoes paddles the seu like | athing of death, The British officers on the ‘Garnet made light of Boyton’s torpedo joke. It would have been easy for Boyton to make light of the * Garnet.” The brightest gem in Ques crown does not seem to be a garnet. If the Irish Boycott English landlords and the Yankees Boyton Exglish veese!s; Yt will be hard lines for her. America would not hesitate to play land a rubber in the game of war. Boyton’s escapade was not so much ik lark as a shark. The ** Garnet's” n Victoria's hand plays ‘* Shells of Oe watch on the “Garnet” at first A Sweet Consciousness. Minister Lower, when he unveiled the bust of Coleridge, in Westminister Abbey, said: * All the waters of the Atlantic cannot. wash out of the conscionsness of cither on that we hold our intellectual property common,” t is what the p m to think. in printers in both countries ee % SPRING SOOT AND A SOOTIBLE SIGN. comicbooks.com