Judge — May 2, 1885 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. GONE!!! FRAUDS. A Medley, by A. Tennishorn, Some, Day, some summer da In August sure, if not in May, Beasts of the brazen circus horn— With Fontaratean odors borne From sideshow and m Will set the countryside in gle While Claribelle low li Beneath the trapeze high, And sobbeth loud and sigheth Because her husband was not fly Enough to catch her in the net, But he'll catch it, now, you bet! h Sweet Violets Sown in the dell, Stay in the country. Wed do quite well If the steam pianas would roam the Savannahs Like other wild beasts of its own rude manners, Or the gay son of Rome with his organ would stay At his sweet-scented home until carried away Feet fi Forced to leave her By blithe Roman fever! In the gloaming, oh, my darling, When the gas burns soft and low, You've a compensation, for the Bill is just as high, you know! Sea King’s daughter from over the sea Met you the sea-serpent black and blue? This summer hotel snake is long since due On the coast, Where they prize him most As he lies on the breakers And they on the shore And even the Shakers led squealing worm eke with a bell . and he breathes Jersey lightning! Jon PACE BococK. He's a rin, Round his ne NCH. OFF THE BE Tur Favorite theme of the Boston girl’s composition: De beany essay. SNAIL PARMING isa leading industry in Switzerland. A good many men farm in that way here, too. Miss Wotre has received the Pope’s Gol- den Rose for her charities. may care for this, but if the Pope is going { to recognize our piety and benevolence, a barrel of Early Rose is good enough for u THE DAILY PAPERS are all discu question: ‘Is Satan a success. receipts seem to say yea. ing the Their | AN agricultural paper asks: ‘Is salt a necessity to stock?” No, but water | Also, a heavy diet of lie. Can A cornen in pork affect the price of anything but the hams and shoulders? Is | not that or any other corner a square deal? is. | Tue Homeopatuic Cottece makes fun of the cholera bacillus. The c. b, may be fun for the doctors, but it is death to their | patients, AN AUTHORITY states that ‘an atheist cannot be a mason.” There seems to be no religious disqualification for their being drivers, however. re | Tue ANTI-TonACco reformers are working | the cancer scare for all it is worth. They | say aman can have a cancer if he choose. Of course he can, sir. Why bor: England solve two problems at once by enlisting all the fighters along the Nile for service in Russia, and just flood | out the Czar with Nilists? Tue season for taking perch is open in | the North until July1. In the South, the season for taking the perch and all the fowls | on it is open all the year round. Tue novine disposition of migratory fish | | is well illustrated by the fact that Hudson River shad appears on the stalls at points far inland weeks before they have been taken | from the Hudson. We FEAR that the Hibernian patriots in this country are losing their patriotism. They did not start a new subscription for servant girls on the occasion of H’albert | Dude and Mug chance to drive the desecrating foot of the invader from the pure air of Ireland, in New York. Two souls with but a single thought get married and then comes the second—a sober one. of the U in Pror. Lawnre Survey, has found several curious ani wump Were not among them, ‘They remain too much and too extant. Geologics Florida remains of als not now extant. The ‘Tue rors of the rink c gu rge that men dis- ed as women go there to skate and de- vastate. What is the object? Any many knows that if such a disguise is successful, it effectually hars his getting near one of the lady revolutionists. Is iT THE square thing for doctors and scientists to try to solve the fasting girl problem by insisting that young ladies can- not subsist without eating, and the ice-cream and clam-bake season just coming on? On behalf of the beaux, we remonstrate. I Turns out, after all, that only half of Colon was destroyed by the insurgents. Re- christen the town Semicolon and say no more about it. It’s uncomman name, we know, but it will answer until another crowd of rebs makes a dash and putsa period to the place. an A cutrovopist holds that ‘a woman’s feet should be as pretty as her hands and as much exposed to view. This idea works first rate in the summer and the country. It isn’t new except as to the required beauty, and that, of course, the chiropodist is willing to become responsible for. Is TORS may as well set about making improved lobster-salads and canned lobster. The real crustacean is nearly exti to the every where. owing ravages of lobster-fishing idiots Your average fisherman, “for revenue only,” has less brains than his prey; She's rich and | H’edard’s visit to Ireland, and missed a | is about as sharp as an angle-worm, in fact. comicbooks.com