Judge — April 4, 1885 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. PUBLISHED ONCE 4 WEEK TERMS TO SURSCRINERS (Omran States axo Casavas £9 apvavca One cop} Ove copy, alx months, or 2 numbers (One copy. for 13 weet ‘one year, or SS numbers, soptes 19 cents ench: addres, THE JUDGE PUBLI-MIN COMPANY, 324, 326 aud 323 Pearl St, SEW YORK. CORRESPONDENTS. Sa ComaesroxDENTy WILL TLEASE TAKE SOTICE THAT THEY saxo Maa To Tina orrice ay Tuer ows nist, Woene svaxrs ARE ESCLOMED WE WILL RETURY REJECTED MATTER A8 FAN A8 FOS AUULE, BCT WE DINTINCTLY REFCDLATE ALL RESPOSMOILITY FoR sCCH we event case Warne 4 raice rug ware CONTRINCTIONS WLLL PE REOARDED A ORATCITOCS, ASD RO ECE E® GQORST CLAIM FOR REMCTERATION WILL BE ENTERTAINED. sor arin Early to Rise, Early to Fall. A sMaLt leader of small men will be extolled for tho littlest of his acta. Necea- sarily so—for a small man cannot rise to great executive acts, and eyes that were cre- ated to discern trifles cannot take ina battle- field. The ignoble sluzgard is the one that was selected to consider the ant. Many a Gulliver who is a stripling among men is a giant to Liliputians. This nec dancy to toadyism is illustrated by the sna pers-up of the unconsidered trifles of tho White House. Every movement of Presi- dent Cleveland is taken in by the gaping Democracy with a worship as implicit as any petty princo oer received from his simple subjects. One of the cheapest of the feathers that have been stuck in the head of this Demo- cratic idol by his projectors is labeled, Early Rising. The order of the President that his breakfast be on the table at 8 o'clock A. u., sharp, has nearly paralyzed the Democracy with its grandeur and originality. All the praise wherewithal they have in times past extolled the achievements of their earlier statesmen sinks into tameness when read with the panegyric piled up on ‘the early- rising administration.” It is a cheap use of a pseudo virtue, like a pean to a Democratic President who shonld grandly and fearlessly practice in the White House eating custard pic with a knife. All virtues are comparative—even the sub- lime one of early-rising—and wo can tell THE JUDGE. they cannot insure his re-election and the permanent suprem: of the party on the expansive principle of eight o'clock break- fasts. If they think, for instance, that this is to make him solid with the bucolic voter, are self-deceived. This is not early ng in most parts of the country There are communities in which a per- son found in bed until cock-crowing would be persecuted; where thero are plenty of deluded souls who dream of heaven because they have always risen before the sun and buck-wheat batter; where people go to bed preposterously early to avoid ‘‘ burning out daylight,” and rise to burn cord-wood and candles for three hours before daylight for the sake of “getting an early start” todo nothing all the winter day. A family guilty of this lofty morality also usually keeps half a dozen big dogs, and lets its cattle and sheep shiver and starve in half-enclosed sheds—fit representatives of “an early-rising administration!” Tue Jupoe is of opinion that the whole early-rising crankincss, on which the administration is trying to play, isa hum- bug, and the President's appearance of un- precedented industry a pretense. Te has, i the first announcement, changed his kfast hour to nine o'clock, a scandalous falling off about which the press is silent— Aba! Of all Poor Richard's poor sayings, there is no greater hambug than:— * Early to bed and carly to rise, * Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise,” Our new aspirant for the champions early-rising, indeed, looks to be * healthy,” and is reputed to be “wealthy ”—a claim that we shall not dispute, in view of his thrift in the shrievalty of Erie Co. and since. But the total failure in him of the last bles- sing guaranteed to the carly riser by Poor Richard, but adds another to the thousand- and-one living contradictions of the efficacy of this prescription for all of tho virtues and beatitudes. However, it may be excepted to this ruling of this Court that Cleveland in luck makes up for the failure to be made wise, proving the saying to be reason, though without thyme. It is conceded that a man who has climbed to the height of the Presidency at the young age of 48 may, in one sense, be called anearly riser, But the rising was so little due to any volition, much less to any merit of his own, that-the future historian will hesi- tate to ascribe it to the practice of even 80 trivial a virtue as day-break contemplation. This doubt will be deepened by the accounts which contemporaneous history will furnish of his convivial mode of life—doubts, in fact, of the truth of the early-rising legend itself. No. Ifthe Democracy can, in tho next four years, find no more distinguished ad- ministrative acts rt which to ‘point with pride,” the national carecr of their first and last President in 25 years will end, as it began, by an early turning out. } million * hungry and thirsty” Fall of “Ohio an Idee.' Iris all a question ofa ‘fair divide.” How to make a hundred thousand oftices satisfy a Democrats, is the problem that confronts an executive whose miracle-working powers have hereto- fore been confined to the prestidigitation of nsforming a country Sheriff into a chief istrate. Ohio Democrats are counted out. is asort of justice President—in ¢ There albeit, unintended by the y them the cold shake.” Their sins are Back in war times they had t ralleled “gall” to run for governor the “ big copperhead with the long ugly name,” Vallandigham. Later they evolved Uncle Bill Allen and the Rag Baby. Always, in this Kilkenny fair of Democrats, if a decent man has stuck his head up, it has been multitudinously mashed. ‘Thurman distinguished himself by resisting monopoly influences in the Senate, and he was incontinently bounced. Pendleton espoused Civil Service Reform of avery mild type, and he was relieved and retired” se than poor Gordon was—a man with- out honor in his own country. And they finally crowned the edifice of their own infamy by the election of Standard Oil Payne to the Senate. If that specific form of a particular national calamity, Ohio Democ- racy, be entitled to honorable recognition, we cannot conceive of the thing in its record upon which any Ohio Democrat could base his claim, Cleveland’s subserviency to the new Albany regency is not creditable toa man in the first cutive position, but he might do worse, His partiality for Southern men, and espec- ially for ‘onfederates, is as impolitic as it is unpatriotic, but he might do worse. Of his selections already made, mau discreditable on account of character—but he might have done worse. Ie might havo appointed some Ohio Democrats. It is prob- able that for very shame lie may be driven to import into the state outsiders for post-offic and local positions, or to appoint Ohio Re- publicans—providing any Ohio Republican could be found willing to accept a federal appointment. N. B.—Since the above was in type, Pres- ident Cleveland has made two selections of Ohio Democrats. Ie has selected Mr. Pen- dleton for banishment to Germany, where his Civil Service Reform notions will not embarrass the new concern trading in the eame line; and he has selected Mr. McCon- ville, late of the Ohio State Prison, to handle the funds of the Post Office in the U. S. Treasury. This removes Gentleman George from the contamination of Ohio Democrats, and transplants to Washington an Ohio man who, in the safe seclusion of prison walls may have escaped some of the demoralization. Of course, prison inmates are, like Weller’s “viddere,” “a exception to everything.” have been President Cleveland and his admirers that aioe os comicbooks.com