Judge — November 1, 1884 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. ‘ood management, Stubbs was able to keep his head outside of the hotel in Ludlow Street, and with scarcely more than his traveling expenses in the pocket of his swell plaid suit, he hied him to the maternal roof tree. Ifis fond and doting mother had always existed upon the small amount left her by Stub! nior, so when her son asked her if she hadn’t afew hundred by her to lend him till he could get upon his feet again, she walked straight to the bible, took therefrom the thousand dollar check, that had never been cashed, and presented it to him, with the utmost comp nee, Stubbs was so astonished that for once in his life he had nothing to say. Astonished, because in the first place he had forgotten all about the check, and in the second pl because his mother had not cashed it when it was first given her. In all his experience with New York women he had never known one to keepa check longer than twenty-four hours, their usual mode of proceedings be- ing to get the money and spend it as quickly as possible. Of course, now that he had no credit at the bank, the check was worthless, but how could he tell the old ly this? Hastily leaving the house, he went out and leane nst the wood pile, and en- deavored to overcome his emotion, but he could hear his mother telling the ‘ hired girl” in the kitchen, that she was ‘* power- ful glad, she’d kept that ’ere and wld give it back to herson when he needed | “There's nothing like saving” she added. To which the hired girl replied—* Well, Mrs. Stubbs, my experience goes to show, that if you save some things foo long, they'll spoil.” If Grover is minded to carry on the cam- paign with a cipher dispatch he has only to dispatch himself. We have been reminded more than once that Blaine is so unpopular with foreign nations, don’t you know? And by jingo, ‘tis true. Britishers and Greasers, not to mention Medes, Parthians, Elamites and the dwellers in. Mesopotamia, dislike him so much that Jim after all will have to rely on the American people for his election. The calumny-mongers told their stale stories about Blaine to the people. The people laughed and went their way, Then they went and told the stories to the marine After a while the marines said ‘ bosh.” Then they went down below the marines, down even to the gudgeons. The gudgeons having no ears and understanding not a word swallowed the stories and believed. The “many profound impressions” we read of as made by this or that Cleveland stump orator, must be owing to the presence of a sprinkling of parlorites, and the con- sequent sappy condition of the audience. Barnum’s big elephant makes a_ profound impression every time he puts his foot on anything soft. **Cleveland’s letter of acceptance has made a decided impression in this part of the state,” is what an admiring young N. Y. Democrat writes to one of his papers. ’Tis likely, and unless the ground be frozen too hard, Grover will make another decided impression in some part of the state next November, and the impression will be an excellent likeness of Grover’s back, THE PROM Three Fishes. A YOUNG HOUSE-KREPER'S TRIALS t home three fishes, excellent | 1 went into market, and brow | Which 1 rec f would furnish th snomical, tasty, and very nutritious +e shine as ab ewif | The market-man told 1 And T thought my . T then was my choice w hitious judicious, auspicious. ginning was very | The first But the our fish tasted simply delicious, t one, I thought, smelled a little sus: picious, And the sight of the third made my husband turn And next day, our new cook, who issadly offi Served us up a blue-fish, with a scent so pernic ‘That I hate ever since, even thinking of fishes. mm Whom the gods would destroy they first make bad. ‘This campaign will show whether cipher candidates ure better election winners than cipher dispatches. When in conventions assembled our Demo- cratic friends are sticklers for the unit rule. When it comes to campaign work they have been known to prefer the cipher rule. A good many Democratic war-horses seem to have quit the field—gone a fishing, a yachting, a bathing and the like watery past- times. What sign is it when so many Demo- crats take to water? Must be because the party is out of spirits. General Butler was seen the other day in the back yard turning hiscoat. He handled the garment with a deftness hardly to be ex- pected in one of his age. old warrior remarked with a smile to a neighbor who was watching the performance, “one never forgets an old trade, though one tn Some shrewd persons are inclined to believe that the comparatively easy operation of the General turning his coat is only preparatory to the more difficult task of saving his bacon. “You see,” the | y not have practiced it for some time.” | ISED LAND. Sonnet. Pour 0 Amour de Blaine! Witit scorn inte of rost Of all excessive tendency to laud cant and gush, ‘The candidate w w name is most abroad In strict avoidence of that sperel, too lush, Which caucus bards affect, on, Blaineites, rush; Rush to the goal! Keep heart! and feel not awed, Though Mr. Cleveland So cunningly that none for him need bh But let the herald locusts now proclaim In their shrill Should ect ber work be sawed cents, What, consigned to Fame, time in su s Frenehiner t hath p! g great Ward Beecher ¢ Grover’s friends say he His unfriends s own Cleve-) Some intelligent | Buffalo, who never hea was washed ashore on a tid puzzled to know whether he is the sea, or land? neither; he New Jersey. mocrat: outside of d of Cleveland till he 1 wave, are product of was born in The pilot in charge of the scow which bears Grover and his fortunes has been consulting Captain Cuttle and the Flying Dutchman, tie wants to find out whether a tremendous tidal wave is not usually followed by an equally tremendous under- tow. “ Buffalo is no longer Cleveland.” We are sorry enthusiastic for to hear this— sorry to hear that the era‘of good feeling is | no Yonger feoling well, and’ that ancient rivalries have not all gone to the happy land of suicide. Encouraged by the flattering manner in which Buffalo howled for Cleve- land some months ago, we hoped that by this time gallant old St. Louis would be | hob-nobbing with young Milwaukee, or dancing a jig with’ lively "Frisco; that he would be soothing the tender heart of Minneapolis, k y the blushing cheek of | Cincinnati, throwi arms round the swan like neck of Ch and triumphantly leading frail, pale Orleans to the alt— the | soda fountain,