Judge — October 25, 1884 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Two Barnums onthe Management of Elephants. Cusiaas Byrsea— 1 have a really || fine elephant, Uncle Phineas, that I tind | some difficulty in managing. Would like to consult you as the hest authority on the | sub: Showman Barnum—* Drop all that g.m- mon, Bill: what you mean is that you find yourself with a big elephant on your hands and don’t know what todo with him, Come Well, about | I reckon tha I reckon it is, and 1 pout the insides of your | brute that would keep me from swapping one of my raggedest hyenas for any like him. But that don't concern the public, what's his weak point for show?” Chairman—* Blame if I kne a healthy beast and hi feeder, but somehow Show man know a point Ie seems s certainly a he to dra Showman— question of ¢ “Oh! r. if that’s all, Nothing its merely a akes with the | public like whitewash. And of all the | animals I ever handled none improve so much | | under whitewash as the clephant. Give your big humbug a coat or two.” Chairman—“ Why, we have been doing nothing for the last’ two months but white- washing him. I have a gang of the best artists that can be got for love or money (but of course it’s mostly money) at work on hin I am safe in saying that I pay not less 00 a day for this business—and all for Do what we will the lime won’t howman (disgustedly)—“ Won’t stick? 8 the first of the breed I ever heard n’t be whitewashed. ‘Tell you what, Bill; what your elephant wants is not ac of lime but a coat of tar and Try one on. If that don’t stick cal Chairman—* All right, Uncle.” THE JUDGE. | Why is an earthquake like a bur; poor relation?—Be ause people had meet it in the streets th: lar ora rather nin their houses. When the friendly “shake,” shake it is. as to refuse. earthquake Nobody so ill-bred says The Democratic party is decidedly not a unit at present, but there must be a unit hidden somewhere in it. What has become of the figure 1 which they stole from the Augusta Cemetery Foreigners who visit these shores compli- ment Americans on the great number and beauty of their parks. Thanks foreigners, we do take Kindly to parks. All the same, we are not quite ready yet for a Louis Quinze pare aux cer} also the first Presidenti ampaign in which Ben. Butler appeared candidate. 8 The bonzes of far aw know as well how to m their American brethren Grand Lama lock : Chamber at Ts or did the wise priests of old Egyptallow ‘theirsacred beast to go out west and stump the country. Thibet seem to age a campaign as they 1 up in the Democratic Way or Looking at Att Re At the Inquest. Wut was it killed him Was it a fally Had he been mur¢ By knife or by U | | | Was it by drowning, Fire, of by storm? Had the sharp lightning Smitten his fo Was it by sun-stroke gue That the cold M Tis body now sees? Neither of those thin Caused bis sad death; List what the Coro: re saith “This young man expired At one fell stroke On hearing a clown Get off a fre 3 * sUy, 208LT! This y plume wav ur no tidal waves; only the whi | We: have only at Washington. r plain White Hon eno Whi We conveniences proper for a Merry Monarch. PY WORLD | pRuTH CONDENSED | we BYPECTEOLTNE HEPUOLICANE Ju CARRY TWEE ——— eS PUBLIOAN SUCCES: “ Well, we can stand it.” How doth the able bodie “plume his sheeny vans” Had not the other angel clipped them with the fat el of light The Governor’s admirers winces under these cruel ch pected from the first that the Governor wi that kind of an invincible. Let us hope that the rough manner in which Ohio and Indiana were shaken up by the late earthquake will teach those two ¥ ward sisters the folly of remaining among the doubtful s Better be solid for any- Butler or St. John—than re not solid at all. result—a result, not to be despised perhaps in the day of small things—of the election of the Democratic candidate would be a brilliant addition to our stock of stump elo- quence and colleg thunder, as well as a new | point for the moral, and a new adornment for the tale which the chronic addresser is wont to encou the rising generation by showing: ‘How by industry, economy, and bad morals the humble but virtuous’ hang- man in this free and cqual land of ours may achieve the highest ete., rise to the most exalted ete.; whom the bloated aristocrat may well etc., who under the smiles of providence my young friends——” On te th comicbooks.com