Judge — September 6, 1884 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

6 THE JUDGE. Ilill and Yorktown, New Orleans and Lake Erie, Charleston and over the ocean blue, where its piratical Alabama robbed our com- merce from the sea. Mr. Blaine and his protection friends will be so much delighted to receive orders from the royal robbers of old Albion! Curtis says thisisa “moral” and not a polit- cal campaign. How very fortunate is this pure and eloquent gentleman in having the ‘*moral” and conscientious Cleveland as his representative! But, Harper with ‘ un- covered head” bowing to the historian Blaine, is not quite so fortunate. — Hurper would give a heap had he not written that letter to Congressman Biel pas But consist- ency was never worn by the Harpers as a shining jewel. Puck cartoons the terrible iniquity of + political assessments. ©The Democratic al- lies do not want government clerks and offi- cers to pay moncy to the committee just at this time. The hundred and fifteen thou- sand public servants, great and small, will pay an average of ten dollars apicce into the coffers of the national and Congressional committees, making the snug sum of one million, one hundred aud fifty thousand dol- lars, with which to put up Blaine bill-post- ers, circulate campaign literature, hire halls, and induce the loco focos of New York CRy and Indianapolis to sce bright on election day! — This is sud for civil service reform. The Republicans are in favor of the law, but against its enforcement, While the Demo- crats, just now, are in favor of its enforce- ment and aguinst the law. From the days of General Jackson to the closing hours of Jimmy Buchanan, the Democrats never failed to assess their laborers for political purposes. I do not blame the Curtis-Kepp- jer crowd for opposing the collection of fi- nancial ammunition that will kill their polit- ical hopes. Were I a cabinet minister I should be in favor of enforcing the civil service law; but would dismiss at once any clerk or officer, for incompetency, who did not know enough to mp port the master that employed him! owever, the Presidency isalready settled. The tattoo business, combined with political and personal scandal has silently secured the rize for Mr. Blaine. Cash and_brai rom the earliest dawn of antiquity hav ruled the world, and the Republican’ Party has both, and the nerve to cut with a broad- axe, or strike with a trip hammer. Thine with pathos, Joun A. Joyce. Low tied—a married couple of short stat- ure, A coLLecton’s business is no sooner said than dun, Yrstexnay, to day and forever—Demo- cratic blunders, How to go to the wall by the shortest route—through Wall street, of course. Wuat with the barbarous barbed wire fence that no Christian man can sit on; and the villainous hoe-handles too w to lean on, the industrious farm hand is having a powerful hard time of it. “Money makes the mare go,” but out in Qmaha, owing to some late municipal events, they have filed the old saw, and now she sawa in this wise: ‘The Mayor makes IT \ To war a o When Sunday Comes. (RONDEAU.) Wues Sund From busy yy comes and toilers cease, seek brief rele thin the sacred shrine id things purest most div in holy courts find peace. A I, too, ‘The powers which bring my «pirit ease Are not Some other joys my heart incline When Sunday comes, book on bended knees, Is one, whose physic ablished a prize compet For the girls who could best Cut out all the rest And break the men’s hearts in addition, A Quativm 1: E Buta learned M.D. au contrire Who considered the challenge unfair, Soon melted her heart By some chemical art, And they're practising now, as a pair, A victory at base ball is a side issue. A riexpisi sport— whipping the devil around the stump.” “‘Oh, where are the booms that are bnst- ed?” wails the Tezas Siftings. — ‘Gone over the dam, 2 | THE OTHER SIDE SHOW. THE WIDOW'S NEW SUN BONKET. READY POR ANOTHER JOB. ——) ic PRESIDENT At the Sea. “I seven bathe with the girls,” young Doodle remarked. ‘If I meta girl in the water I would not know what to say to her.” * Oh! that’s easy enough,” replied Boodle, ‘ay the water is pleasant.” ** But she would say ‘yes,’ and what could I say then?” urged Doodle. “Why, ask her can she swim,” suggested Boodle. Then she'll say ‘yes can I sav?” “Well, by that time you could say somo- thing funny to her,” replied Boodle.” Say Ilc-e-c-e hee: and noke her in the ribs.”” “Ah! yes, thanks,” said Doodle. Ile didn’t go bathing. again, and what ‘Tie new edition of Republican prayer | book contains # special form of prayer for | the good health and long life of M John Kelly. _ This devotional gem is said to be the composition of one of the Custom House bishops. It breathes a spirit of extreme fervency. ‘Tuere isa story that Prince Vandergoold, some years ago, narrowly escaped being made a Christian. It seems that he had gone successfully through the Prctienioncy stages, conviction, confession, and what not, and had got so far that the rite of ‘ Confirmation” would soon have done the business for him, but for a maladroit brother who, at thecritical moment of the finishing touch, struck up the old hymn: “Come ye sinners poor and needy,” whereupon the prince muttered “the h—I you say,” and left. ‘This is how it came about that to bea Christian he lacks only confirmation—which is what the story also lacks, perhaps. IL the money go.” comicbooks.com