Judge — September 6, 1884 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

aes EES ET oe aa Sn ee ew See vee Se, Monographs. THE REASON WHY. “Twas on New Jersey's sandy, wave-washed sh The place, say Long Branch, her name, well, Lenore rhaps a month Ld known her, hardly more, But I madly worshipped fair La Bronze-brown her hair, ber But That nameless charm, that witchery that came From aided graces feeding beauty’s flame es the same; s could name her flowing locks nor € Yes, L worshipped her—and she? ab, well-aday! || She liked me, loved me, perhaps, who can say! But her eyes shunned mine, and she turned away When I offered my heart in my hand one day. I never marricd. The reason why? not becant ne woman passed me by, Rut simply because of this: three times have I P ary once received an aye. Currying coals to Newcastle—telling a |] girl she’s pretty. | | It must _make a plumber awful mad to | the hardest frost never injures a don’t believe in add- said the nt maiden who had been ** just twenty- five” for the last ten years, when somebody quoted an old saw. Marcns Aurelius, when you are strutting aroand inflated with the idea that you have made a “mash” on some passing girl, you would find, could you loc ely into her eyes, that your image is reflected there in such infinitesimal proportions that it could be hidden fromsight byathrcepenny-bit. ‘Try | it sometime and see. SUNLIGHT AND Grover C.—* That's right, hurl it at him. | Ay “All trains | tunity of gaining credit as a wise man, | SHADOW, I always did hate moral folks.’ There is nothing quite so soothing to the trained car as the whine of a spoiled ‘child— unl it may be the bray of a lonesome jack-ass, “T beg pardon,” said the awkward youth, as he stepped on the hem of her flowing robe. “Don't mention it,” she said sweetly are occasionally stopped cattle.” My son, always be calm under contra- diction. Remember, only a fool or a wise man can do that, and it is better to risk be- ing taken for a fool than to lose the oppor- It is said that Socrates at an extreme old age learned to play on musical instrument: We used to admire this old gentleman ¢. ceedingly, but now that this baleful fact h come to light, we don’t wonder that his neighbors rose but firm! has its u , sat down upon him, 3 after all, Hemlock HE CONCLUDED 1 E WOULD WAIT, “T wouldn’t go fishing in that pond if I \ ” yelled ab faced man, with k eye, and a voice like a fog- just as you please sir,” quavered | young Boltoddle respectfully. | “1 suppose “No, sir, I’m not,” roared the big man. I the s Vadvise yer not to fish | Unde 7 certainly, sir— Iright, of course. not quite— T meant no m, sir. “Humph! You did mean harm,” grum- harm to them little pipe-stem legs 0’ your’n as one man, and reverently, | fi | you will be a credit to your parents and to bled the fog-horn. ** You’d a done more than two week’s rest could mend, if you'd spent your day a fishing in that pond. Taint even so much as a sucker been hauled ont o’ it in five year y Now you've heard me shout—go on an’ fish if yer want want to. But Boltoddle concluded he didn’t want to. Musical Criticism--With a Vengeance. From the See-sharp (Ind. Rep.) July 10th: “We are in receipt of the *S. Grover Cleveland Grand March” by Mr. Arthur de Mont nd must congratulate the honor- able gentleman to whom the march is dedi- cated, and whose finely executed portrait adorns the title page, on being the‘ tee’ — | (ba! ha!) of so clever and well written a composition. The motif is decidedly original and well carried out, and the whole composition shows that its author is no novice in fis profession, If we might make a suggestion, the chord Asharp, second pa fourth bar, would, we think be improved by the substitut of B tlat. With this ption the mareh is ‘ vetly written, and we could wish the honorable ‘dedicatce’ no better march to victory than th m the same, July 24th: We have received the ¢ Grand(!) March” by “ Art.” ‘This effusion is principally characterized by plagiarism and incorrectness; while politics and music should not be confounded, we cannot but | feel that this march is aptly dedicated. The author might possibly turn a hand-organ | erank with su + but composer he is decidedly out of his elem , and does well in concealing his true name by a nom-de- plume. G. Blaine From the same August 7th: | “Erratum. In our issue of July 24th, | we somewhat severely criticized the J Blaine Gr It need only ed that * is the nom-de-plume of Mr. Arthur de Montague well and favorably known to our readers, to correct our inad- vertent mistake.” S.D. S.J. A Deserved Compliment. “Anp now, gentlemen,” continued the valedictorian of the graduating class, as with a tearful huskiness in his voice he turned and faced the solemn group of Pro- sors, ‘* be assured that we appreciate the heartfelt endeavor that each and all of you have made to comply with the rules and regulations which we have made for guidance—for the cheerful acrity with | which you have obeyed orders that at the time you were perhaps unable fully to under- stand. ‘These traits of c! ntlemen, do equal credit to your heads and hearts, and show what manner of stuff you are made of. Continue, gentlemen, in this cour: nd no matter what obs intervene to dis- cour: your efforts, e my word for it, the class which has labored so faithfully for your improvement. The ties which bind a college student to his a/ma mater and to the faculty over which he has ruled undis- puted for four years are—are too thick for utterance. Gentlemen, farewell and god- speed. comicbooks.com