Judge — August 2, 1884 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| | | | u— HIS OWN LITTLE IDEA. The happy device of Mr. Timothy Longhead who contemplates Spending afew weeks at Saratogo, and who is determined to have his trunk carefully handled by the baggage smashers of our railroads. 10, He this style 11. This I wicked peor succe ake of Blaine, and talked after whom the false lumbia have chi is the worst of the people. , and his record smelleth oniony, as does that of vours truly. Make not this man your kin For behold, I kick! 12. And he kicked. 13. And one Curtis did also kick; and so did a little monkey that was the property of Curtis 14. And Beecher, the High Priest, said: Lo, I, a priest, denounce Blaine as a son of Belial. Is it not therefor , my brethren? 15. And the people looked upon Be that he was not clean, . So the people went their way, and left Beecher kickin, ven as ass doth kick. 17. But of what his kicking, in- asmuch as the sle were not there to see, and only Curtis beheld him k 18. At length Curtis ceased toexercise his hind legs as doth the untamed mule of the desert. 19. And spake thus sorrowfully to Enry- ward: My friend, our kicking is out of the line of reason, None see us, and the ass of Balaam alone affordeth precedent for such foolery. 20. ‘Then Enryward answered him sa saying: Brother, thou sayest. well. ur heads in an ash 21. And for many d y journeyed through the desert till they found a barrel. 22. And they stack their heads in it, For verily, such is ‘the punishment of kicking. Selah! Let us A waTeERY waste—diluting your whisky. “Tis of Thee.” ' Come with thy cartoons dire I mean, sweet Puck, Breathing abysmal 1 in sweet Loe-Dateh commedi thou, Though, with mu All thy bri I mean gwumpian brow © pride shall bow; sweet Puck Come with thy reform shout, A n the rascals out,” an sweet Trmean sweet Puck Yet thy Weighs not with manly men; Thou shalt be “left I mean sweet Puc avenomed pen ur Come when November's gi Tm Brings on election a T mean sweet Then mark th: Called Indepe Fast fading fr T mean sweet in sweet Py mick motley crew nts true, W Come when the votes are polled, Tmean sweet Puck Come, see who then and George William C., Tammany, All the Democracy, I mean, sweet Puck | quite picturesque, had stood upon the b Mrs. Pickerell's Life Preserver. y were at the and all the lit- Pike could swim like porpoises, Mrs. Pickerell determined to learn to do likewise or die in the attempt. or several suc ive summers she had made the same resolve, and she had fre- quently attired herself in her costume of red and white striped bed-ticking, and, looking and fami und listened to numerous long harang from Mr. P. on the theory of locomotion ch salt water. rtunately both Mrs. ries were upset every time made to put. them in’ practice Mrs. P. made up her mind s ce proceedings on an entirely different efore leaving town, and without consult- ing her husband, she purchased a new pa- tent rubber life-preserver. This (it was advertised) could be worn under the t ing-suit; and Mrs. P, adjusted it accordingly, and exhausted all the wind | from her lungs in endeavoring to inflate the machine. It must be confessed that her figure pre- sented a most unusual corpulency took her customary place on the prepared to listen to her husband mid-summer lecture, Mr. Pickerell was near-sighted, but he could see enough to make him wonder what s she nd annual upon carth made his wife look « But heasked no questions, and way down to the raft or float, he assured her that if she would boldly strike out with arms and legs in the w I eeded to illu e, there could be no possible danger. Now this looked nd evidently Mrs. Pickerell had more confidence in her life- preserver than in her husband, for she ex- Ribited a most unusual amount of courage. Saying to herself, now or never—she made a mighty effort, and, to the surprise of her husband ac: <d into deep water. But, alack for the failure o} human c s In adjusting the preserver Mrs, P. had fastened it around her body much lower down than v lly intended, and the consequence was that, when she came to the surface, her fect were up and her head was down, which fact filled her husband with | consternation and herself with salt water. Mr. Pickerell came to the rescue, but in spite of all endeavors he could not keep her right side up, and as fast as he would get | ber head out of the water over she would all comicbooks.com