Judge — July 19, 1884 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE a USOKGRES: whether he'll swallow smile was longer and at least broader ine the first. They gave him the Left Bank of the E "here was some wriggling, but no serious y getting it down, “D—n hi wi ed Ben Mollah. “Bring hither a railr They brought the Bagdad, Poolshore Nickeledge and Os- qu This went down throat as merrily as if it were going up spout. When the business had reached this sta the vizier, being a man of powerful intellect, began to wink, too. The whole party then adjourned to Ahdelmoniko’s caravansary where they made a plumed night of it. In this way was mercy sternly tempered ith ji ¢ in the reign of the wise Alimed- The Fair Balloteer. “Tie trouble with our female suffrage as you call it,” said the practical politicis Trom Cheyenne, “is that gome of these new voters give the election officers no end of trouble by coming back and wanting to have another look at the ticket whether the address is all right, or wh n’t require another stamp. have queer tastes too, in tickets, that the unfair sex could never understa and. About all the bearded voter to know i wheth his ticket is straight; for I don’t think he minds much how dirty it is or whether it is printed on straw paper; bat I don’t believe one of this other Idlnd of fellow izens ever troubles herself about the in- ide of her ticket, so it looks just lovely. y that down in Washakie the aloon men got the whole woman yote cast in favor of free whiskey and open on Sun- 1 printing their tickets on gilt edge and putting them up in fan But the worst of it is it’ aalloteers that no practical politic You think you have a nice set a beautiful slate and all that, till nese light heads bre ny like a lot of yntamed colts, and when it comes to the count up, you generally find all your caleu- lutions smashed. Now, for my part— though I would sce my girls and the old woman in Virginia City before they monkey with the ballot—L’ve no prejudice one or the ot but what I want to know,” de- led the Rocky Mountaineer as he wiped rn dew from his grizzled fustache? off the end of a fresh cigar, ‘ what it to know is, how are you going to run politics in this country if the suffrage dis- ase spreads and we get an army of voters on ir hands who have no more idea of drill and responsibility than a party of Bannocks having a high old time at a dog feast. M ACKIOWLY. A soOLEMN contemporary solemnly wants to know: ‘Another Wall Street crash would be ac y gre 0 be deprecated; but the question i we ward it We give it up; but Ferdinand can you how to Ward it on. Tur vice which never sticks to young people, though they are more exposed’ to it than any other—Advice. Tur St. Louis critic candidly admits that when a Chicago advanced female undertakes to lecture, no matter how difficult the sub- ject may be, the fair lecturess is sure to—to cover the whole ground. SUMMER HOLIDAY PLEASANTRIES. «Jump in, Nellie.” “Oh dear! I’m afraid we'll go over.” “<All right ; that’s what we get in for.” «Nonsense! I mean, I’m afraid we'll tip over and drown ; makes my head swim so.” « You needn't be alarmed then, for you can’t drown while your head swim The R. R. Baggage-Master. | Notable Members of Congress. ‘Tirrarest flower inthe And of trunks I bust each day, A car load, a car load; 1 With a hop, a skip, and jump, ‘The queerest fish— How I pounce upon and thump The oldest Jan Satchels in a shapeless lump, On the road.” “I'm more solid that Muldoon, On the road, on the road, Aud I make the ladies swoon With my mode, with my mode, When I grab a bonnet-box, And with sturdy bangs and knocks Quick destroy it with my shocks, On the road,” e firiest membe Blackbur} most pa’ ent member—W: ait. most promising—Budd, 1e most innocent—Lamb, most autocratic—Iolmes, “I'm the slugger of the train, ‘he most hospitable “aves. On the road, on the road, ‘The most unutterable—Ifoblitzell. And the dude conductor vain, i atic—Blount, Talbot. Discommode, discommode— T society man—Cony If at country station, he boatman—Rowell. ‘Tries to take a ‘mash’ from me, | Best man at the whi Then I knock him out’ in glee, The best On the road.” | The gr ” Sade with The greatest sea-capta “T've no use for seedy ‘ grips, The greatest poct— Burns, Oe thes a the. road) t orator—Tulley. Now just watch while this Oue tips, The most notorious novelist. and most (Boom! explode! !—Fune-ral ode! 1 — | pritliant bandit——James, He fs blown clear out of sight, Most belies his name—Lyman, For he's struck some dynamite, Moet applauded in debate—Hitt. And no more will baggage smite, Most frequently thrown in debat On: the road). s : Best man fora bushwhacking ar; Jer, sostre E — Morgan. ue only kind of grub-stake known in| Best man to hunt the eggs—Find-lay. the @ Bast beotsteake Best man for the garden—Dibble. comicbooks.com