Judge — July 12, 1884 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

it was, was sct'up at the head of the grave in lieu of atombstone. His epitaph read: “ His heart was in his work, Gone to smash Celestial Bagga: — A Faded Flower. is but a little faded flower.” es, no doubt the Hon, R. P. F. will think so after the convention has met. He will ulso, doubtless, be of the opmion that there is as much truth as poetry in the lines— Full many a flower is born to blush unseen, And waste its sweetness on the desert air, Because When the convention shall convene Our Roswell P. will be nowhere. But he won't blush; no, not much. Our own Roswell P. is not given to blushing. Modesty is a virtue with which the Hon. R. P. F. is notoverburdened. If Roswell P. does get red, it will be from anger and cha- grin because some other feller bas walked otf with the nomination, which that other feller will undoubtedly do. No, Roswell P., "Tie not for thee. Thy little boom Wilt never bloom into a Flower. . Jobn Kelly, the brave, His standard will wave Triumphantly over over bis band Of Tammany braves; but this you may bet, And don't you forget, "Twill not be for Grover Cleveland. . ote Good-bye to Bayard, for he belongs to a by-gone age. In Holman, the Democrats would have a man, to be sure, but then no doubt some would prefer an o’Thurman to him. As for Dana, that’s ridiculous, for no one would even deign-a look at him. Ben Butler’s too soft, on money, besides being “spoony” in other ways. As for Slocum, he'll be so slow to come before the conven- tion that he wont stand the ghost of a chance, and as for that judge out in Culi- fornia, he’s out of the Field altogether. Tilden’s political career is closed, and 80 is his darrel; an ill, no doubt, to his party, but we must all dear ill of some kind. They cant mak’ much ont of Donald; and Cleve- land may be the choice. But some may de- THE JUDGE. AT ouR SUMMER HOTELS. Who can wonder that children are objected to? cide to cleave to some other man and let him and a big Cleave—land-slide, that be, which would land the party or ina stream which is noted for the saline qualities of its waters. . oe Blaine is a blamed hard man to beat. As for Black Jack, that’s a pretty effective weapon, when wielded by skillful hands, especially to knock over soldier votes into the Republican party, and knock down Denio- crats into the dust of humiliation and defeat. * ots The Independants, that noble band of brothers, pure, spotless, and immaculate, might perhaps be able to prevail upon the | arch-angel Michael to come down anid accept the nomination. It may be remembered that he performed some very eminent servi- ces in the cause of reform some few thousand Fears ago. i Yes, Michael would be an ideal reformer for didn’t he help to reforin a certain per- sonage, unmentionable to ears polite, out of the celestial realms some time ago? With President Michael, and Gabriel as Secretary of State, and the other cabinet positions filled by mers of the angelic host, we should then have reform wank talking about, for we fear Thia world can never give ‘The (political) bliss for which they sigh. But perhaps, after all, the large cartoon | in a recent issue of Tur Juvce may be only too prophetic. If we leave them alone, thoy may come home, and bring their votes us well us their tails behind them. Dreadful contemplation! for them. ‘I'he enormous mass of ‘‘crow” to be eaten und digested would be so appalling that they might well shrink from the unsavory banquet. fear of a severe attack of political dyspepsia might deter them. If 80, all we can say is, pure spotless and immaculate brothers, de- part in peace. Some one possessing angelic or | seraphic qualities will ulone do for them. | | another with ses The | But who shall heal all those sore-heads, Soothe for lost hopes the wounded beart? What balm for them is there like ‘The balm that Michael could impart? The above is respectfully submitted to their earnest and careful consideration. Some Burning Questions. ‘Tue Indian question: ‘* How?” ‘The silver question: How many cents make a dojlar this morni: The question of the double standard: Isn't one suc iN company enough—and to spare? The grain question: What will the har- vest be? The Southern question: Where mought you be from, stranger? The question of classical edvcation: Cui bono! he Irish question: And fur what the divel no, ef I've a moind to? Aint this a free counthree? The Mormon question: Will it pay to take aling-wax at these tigures? The electoral count question: One, throe, Be) seven and ten are twenty, mastn’t it? he American navy question: Here, take one—mugnifies five hundred diameters; see it now? The question af the co-education of the sore: Why not educate first, and go ‘n co afterwards? An impertinent question: I? -ne old ticket is put in the geld, could ei.cer party make any politicol capital out of the capital of Denmark? A vain and foolish question; Did you see anything of my uinbrella? The Egyptian question: If you were well out of it, wouldn’t you bea glud man, Mr. Gladstone? A question in geometry? How can wo make both ends meet? A question that must be answered now or never: Qui vive? A question for the man of leisure: Why is comicbooks.com