Judge — July 5, 1884 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

How a Woman Puts on Shoes, Wes a woman has a new pa sent home she performs altogether different | from aman. She never shoves her toes into them and yanks and hauls until she in the face and all out of br goes stamping and kicki them on part ver them off if she has got the right one, pulls them on again, looks at them dreamily, says th D just right, ther look, suddenly to smooth out the wrinkies, twit and surveys the \ , how loose they are! ” looks again square in front, works her fe so they won't hurt her quite so much, them off, looks at the heels, the toe, tom, and then inside, puts them on walks up and down the room once or twi remarks to her better half that she won't have them at any price, tilts down t mir- ror so she can see how they > turns in every possible direction, at her neck trying to sce how they’ look that way, bucks off, steps up again, forty farewell looks, says they n her feet look awful 1 the world, four of shoes is red and then 1, but pulls y, twitches and see | ays, exclaims them round takes the bot- in, dislocates takes tke nd will never do in puts them off and on three or nes more, asks her husband what he it and 8, goes thrut finally says she will take them. simple matter, indeed. Keeping Their Ends Up. One of the comm how lar traits of our fact that no matter | the citizen of u to his neighbors | most sin nity is th indifferent lity may be while at home, he no ner becomes a trav- eler than his local pride sucks out like the ona hat rack, and ata minute's notice. he other morning while the east-bound overland was stopping at Council Blu man suddenly climbed into one of the man cars, and exclaimed in an anxious voice: here a Southern man aboard?” here is, sab. From Nothe Carliny, responded a gentleman attired in suit, velvet vest and leg boots, those te-bellum landmarks of the sunny South, Then Lappeal to you to aid a case of real distress,” said the stra “Tgive a dollar myself,” and he dropped a dollar into his own hat. “Tm from Pall orida, sah,” said a thin man | farther along and I make it two dollars. “ If there’s anybody here from Wisconsi suppose we subscribe three dollars apiece said a stout-looking party in jeans. “It’s ago!” shonted “a fellow citizen to the last speaker, pulling out his pocketbook. “New York s ve dollars, snapped out stylish looking young fellow, flipping a gold piece down ‘the aisle. “So does Massachusetts,” coolly chimed | in a Boston man, dropping “a greenback into the delighted collector's hat. “Gentlemen, quictly announce looking passe c pities the starvit just ten dollars, coin, ** Tlinois 3 that one trave a“ wheat futures ” out three fives. “Just pass this ap, please,” said s pork packer, handing the Chicago . twenty, witha grim smile, The poor widow cate Utah for said another man amid neral smile. a solid family, or wha and he counted out the better,” and a look, fished | the b | care, and I THE J Pat Wyoming d UDGE. wn for thirty,” and a unwrapping his Epicurious. Ovk friend Blaz gular theory t in perfection, most importance ler te eawiaty e sine Ave 1 poached it isa matter of the ut that it should te poached we Bat hame toe ha who had been unstrapping cooked over a * finally said a | burning et br t aroun if the man with al pin, as he stood “1 should taliforn as up a like n present, it p gentleman from the Then PI st rom the Su into the the whistle for the door. Te vou say all that money was i several > train slowly | the collec Who ¢ man wi about a ¢ and. tramps aeowild ance of joy as the train disappeared around the curve.—San Francisco Post, Wanted to Make His Hat Fit. © GIMME a quarte ly-looking man « down Church st “What do with a the demand of the citizen “Want t'—put it in the “Whose hat?” My hat.” What's the matter with your hat?” Nuzzin’s the matter with my hat: to make my head big enough to fit into it. ‘The citizen did not contribute. —Burling- ton Free Press. ry won't you?” aske weitizen who was arte | Accident- Insurance AT HALF RATES. Why They Didn't Leave. The Association York. The of claims paid. United Stat Mutua lee Br world, ident Sank Boy \ew *And the President? ) America.” ! But the best in the Th No valid ¢ Mo Director sted charg nor any unpaid ertra for European Permits covering full beurfits ‘me and the w: . why didwt you ean sweep of it? There wasn’t nothing left when our turn | 5, | be paid at one time if preferred. came.” —Philadelphia Call. banat at Coat lala —— with abroad, S000 Tasurauce with S24 a week also, and indemnity costs about 313 a year which mery s10,000 Jusurance BO weekly indemnity at Vembership Fee Write for fill, sign and forward to the Howe € Th of those who have been rejected by life eo Equal to the Occasion. proportionate rates. & “ Whois that horrid w a lady of an viewing the ti whisk y-bloa acquainance, while th guests at a fashional asked stood y recep: Application Blank which you may he ive and “Which one?” «That one with the awful Don’t you se “THe is my husband. “Oh,” lang! he lady, “Ts are not sen} though she saw ven- geance in s of the insulted lady. “Several nights ago a friend made a similar remark about my husband, and [ be very ed it would anger woman, 1 that you, ain Senceaty st hus! e world, would not HIRES’! ) IMPROVED pBOOT § BEER a pair of gloves that you | receipt of 23¢, ©. aaa would, but yor see I have lost. hear that | your husband is spoken of as an available candidate for Govern How clever ml receive your policy in return, sands red, mustache and 7 panies can obtain accident insurance CHARLES B. PEET, (OF Rojers, Pet & Coy 2 JAMES R. PITCHER, you me must be.”’—Arkansas Traveler. comicbooks.com