Judge — June 28, 1884 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. Hugging. 1 s1No of arms, And waists of girls, Discreet alarms, Soft eyes and curls! At half-past nine Our chatter hushes; Her eyes decline: She sighs and blushes. “Ah well,” [ say, “Its time to go.” “Oh don't, I pray!” She answers low I rise (you see How it is done) And so does she— We rise as one. The sofa’s near, And, as I go, ‘The minx, the dear, Pushes me—so, As L incline, So do I fall, Her hand in mine Just caught, that’s all Well, so mi The worst is over; ow for the fun, ‘The honey, clover ch done, ed My arm (don’t pause) round her waist, nature's laws Look up—you know ?— And feign surprise. I telegraph Audacious Dliss; She looks a laugh, I print a kiss Her band, deferred, Into a vine. ‘Thrice to her lips, Within the hour, My spirit dips, ‘And drains the Hower! But hark, sweet one! A boot, by Jove, Hurled down upon The floor above! ood night, my fair!” And I elude. With arm, I swear Cramped a la dude! ArraBLr Op Gent (to porter)— ems to be an extremely clever gent that, but” (clever gentleman has been tellin tremen- dous fish story about his experience in the Arthurian pi ge to the Yellowstone) “but isn’t he somewhat—that is, occasion- ally addicted to the practice of—of men- dacity?” Porter—*‘ No, sir; he practices law, and is such a thunderin’ big liar, he wouidn’t have no show to practice anything else in this town.” Lert bower, eh? What did she leave Bower for? And won't she repent and at least write Bower? \ WH vn | Scoot Maste n—'* What is meant by nm Scuoon M.— Now which of these occup tuse most in leaching you?” Puri (quickly)—‘ Your cane, si SHARP RETORT. ental occupation?” Purtt—* One in which we use our minds.” Scnoor M.— And a manual ocenpation!” Puptt—* One in which we use our hands,” ations is miney Come, now, what do 1 An American Fable. A wiG, red-faced Nothing was strolling along the street when a deputy sheriff slapped it on the shoulder, “You're just the chap I’m looking for.” “What do you want of me? I’ve done no evil.” “Never mind; come right along.” “But I never stole anything. “T know it “Nor killed anybody.” “T know that.® “T never broke a law.” ** Of course not.” “Then what on earth can a sheriff want with me?” Nothing, aren't you?” sir.” know any “ Not a cussed thing “I thought 80.” “Well?® “Well, we want you for a juror.”— “Don nythin cago N Perpetrated on Purr-Puss. Ixstixerive quadrup. Whose heaviest footfall Sole sovere That a ght unto the e Companion of the night of da On old maid's shields the couchant wa Lord of the best chi Lord of lives Thou hast the language of the quaint Confused Confucian of Chinese Mat And in all colors dost parade by di Which turn to one at eve— Th In the dead hours of ni £ brood supine, ign owner of the cu or clear, ful si in the house by day, hat was I gto ss nu lovest the sun, but most thot t when lovers yawn; hy t T reach the double barreled bootjack—thou And now upon my hed thou raise —Cineinnaté News Journal, "RINK calls his knife « ways dull. Care,” because it Resnine things— joned chair. ating an old-fash- comicbooks.com