Judge — May 17, 1884 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. “ONE OF THE FINEST.” ** Your honor I caught th’s him in selfs he'd shot me fellar in the “OM attind to thet LYS Oi, I play it’s a bobtail and Pathrick O'Callahan wall be dhriver and Condhucther both for this trip Vidout me knowin it, the quanane hed begun it’s hillish desoign upon me own brain, and befoar any wan fed toime te objict, I hed unloosed the braike, and wid the reins in me hand oi gave a whoop to the harses and we were soon on the down- ward co toward twinty-thurrud shtrate, As we naired the corner the cair shprung from the thrack, and whoile oi and the horses ware a shtruggling to git back to the rail the p igairs musht hev all esheaped, Me brain began to turrun around and as no faymilliar objicks met me gaze, I won- dhered whare we ware. On wint the horses and on wint the cair, and the furrust thing I knew we were turning a corner. Thin 1 haird ashmall bye yillat anotherand shout— “TL soy, Bill, here’s a go; look at this Broad- y cair a going down Foarth Avenye.” Be- gorra the bye was roight. i'd losht me way entirely, T now knew that at twinty- thurrud shtrate I musht ave shwitched me cair off onto the green cair route, Howiver, it waz too late to doenything but follow the cair ahed uv me, and bedad [ dun it will, T noticed no passin; rs ware troying to board me cair, » whin I raiched the naybor- hood of Avenye A, I shtopped at all the cor- ners and invoited the boy to hev a roide wid me fray uv ixpince. ~ Wan or too uv me counthrymen ca - boored, and not wishing me hospitality to be impaiched, oi toid the reins around the brake and out wid me bottle for a dhrink wid me comrad Afther this I losht conshiousniss intoirely and whin I came to mesilf, it was day loight, oi was the only passingai and the cair was at Grand Shtrate Firry. act of picking pockets; if 1 hadn't clubbed Oi was so bewildhered, that I cudn’t answer will the quistions that were put to me by another ‘wan uv the fainisht” and in shpoite av me shwearing me innosince, and ¢ on the name of me woife’s far- rust s husband, the aldherman, I found mesilf befoar the Justice himself. Afther he'd inquoired into the mirits uv the case, and [ towld him all I knew about it, incladin the quanane, he said—“ Well, Pathrick, quanane doan’t go down in this court. It’s tin dollars or tin days.”” “Be , “oi'll not pay it. O71 demand athrial boy a juryav me peers,” on It’s the dhruggist thet’s to blame, nd not mesilf. “Tin dollars or tin days,” he repayted and musha didn’t oi hev to sairch me pockits to foind the moncy for the owld shpalpeen, If Maggie hed iver hev known oi hed that amount about me pairson, she'd hev takin’ it from me, and oi wad cr hev seen her face agit Whin oi towld her av this, I thought it wnd ave miltid her, but she was that mad, thet she raived and shwor thet tin days was too good for the luikes av mi I niver wint nair the cair comp but I sint M over for me morning saying oi was sick. They wudn’t give her the money at fur- rust, but towld her it wud be betther for me not to sind agin for it, till they had found the cair I losht the noight befoar, While she was talkin the cair arroived, and after much cu in, anda dale lin among the other dhrivers and con- ducthors, the money dhue me was given to me woife id divil a bit av it hev oi seen since. Fwhat oi'm todo now isaquistion, We'll hey to moay from the apairtment back to ora,” &i tinimint house quarters, where we belong for wan thing. Maggie has losht none of her aspoi howiver, and objicks to me carryin’ the hod gin, She’s in for havin me enther in the ce for the walkin’ match. Divil a bit uv that fur me,” “Oi’m no walker, and not aith nor an ex-aldherman,” sa: hev to foind something ilse.” Begorra, I wudn’t wondher if she'd hev me oop for Prisidiint yit. ‘There's no ind to the woman's ideahs, and oi begin to think oi’m aiqual to mosht enything mesilf. Howsomiver, me dhiary is indid an wid it has come to an ind the thrials and thribula- tions uv Patanick 0 ions, AVS Oi. an Thd ALLATIAN,, Cair- Conductor. Another Unfortunate. FOUND DEAD, named J. H. Trickledown w 5 found dead in a small room in an up-town apartment hous An empty vial Bhon the table, and a strong smell of mor- phine pervading the air, plainly indicated case of suicide. It is learned that of la the deceased has been somewhat of a reclu. in his habits, and the fact that a colle of about three hundred hats of various age: and shapes hung about upon the walls of the room, ch ly points to a derangement of the mind. And that i A MAN Il, A brief newspaper notic a lifeless remains, and a complicated colle tion of old ¢ all that is left in mortal shape of J. H. Trickledown. What’s that? Never heard of Trickledown! Why, man alive, T'rickledown was the first one to have a—t awh-to make Well now, that’s of queer, but come to think of it, J. H. Trickledown never be came particularly celebrated and his nearest approach to fame was that his aunt once owned a dog that could sit up on his hind legs and smoke a cob pipe. Most likely it is on account of early ations, and the memory of the unf hallucination which o’erhung his whole after life, that to-day causes our heart to take on the murky pall of gloom at the untimely demise of J. II. Trickledown, You see, we were brought up together—al- ways knew him, and it now became our proud wrivilege to certify, that when J. H. T. left Behind the joys ana yellow dogs; aud sorrow and sore heels of boyhood, and stepped boldly out to take a strong man’s place in the great battle of life, he was the acknowledged pride and boast of the whole town, No one had ever known him to do anything mean or unmanly ; he had never hung up a tired, care-laden old ulster in a restaurant and then put on another man’s sixty-dollar Melton overcoat when he went out; he had never wanted “five dollars, you know, old fellow till the first of the week ;” he had never voted to re-elect a Democratic member of the Legislature, and in short J. If. Tric! ledown’s life seemed full of the brightest promise. He was engag sun-ki but, ala woman who led him from the path of uprightness, who in- duced him to plunge into the water that swallowed up all life’s hopes and dreams and ambitions. Trickledown had one little eccentricity. He always wore an old slouch hat, that hung over his ears like a bummer hovering over the bar for a chance to get a free beer, His ssoci- tunate and darkened ed toa ravishing damse comicbooks.com