Judge — May 3, 1884 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. Sic Transit. A rice of Mammon daily The golden tide of lucre’s game; ‘The only themes on which he thought Were schemes for wealth and future fame. sought "Mid bonds and gold he died at last, His bones entombed in spl : His wealth dissolved, a few days passed, ‘The gambler’s name had d Juliana’s Husbands. JULIANA JENKINS had some landed prop- erty of her own in her own right. Nothing very considerable, but still enough to make her an object of interest to the young farm- ers round, But Juliana was strong-minded — upright downr as she expressed it herself—and she ‘*w in’ to be tuk with taffy, she warn so she told many of ‘the youthful its for her favor. If I dated compare Miss Juliana to a worm, | should say that the bird who aught her must be a very early bird indeed. milked baked her bread, bulli r cheese ed her mother, bos 1 er cows, made the farm, and drove away the fortune hunt- i was about twenty-five years of then she said to her mother one night— for Juliana and her id it loud, te shame about her, mother w ness I'll get tied up.” spliced, mother.” mother.” Very “T guess Pll marry “E—e—h, Julian who will you marry?” “Thomas Perkins, mother.” “ And when did he speak to you, Julian “He didn’t speak to me, mother. He knows too much forthat. ‘That’s one reason T think well of him, and I guess I know his mind. No, I sent round for him this even- right; and ing to look at Brown Betty’s knee that w cut when Hopkins, the fool, and when he comes with him. e—eh, Juliana,” let her fall, Vl talk over matters chuckled the old Tipnink Ltake ny stock in such nonsense, mother? not I!” indignantly spoke Juliana, “No, Thomas's land joins ours, and he a good business head; rather old perhaps, but lots of work in him yet. I want some one to help me ona bit, and he’s as good as another. So you clear out, mother, get to your bed; I can’t talk business when you're round. So the old mother cleared out. — Perkins ame, was scen, was conquered, and Juliana Jenkins became Mrs. Perkins, and Mr. Pe} kins became her foreman, overscer, and g eral handy man. But, whether it was hard work or hard words no one knows, but after two ars of wedded bliss Mr, Perkin’s position fell vacant, and Mrs. Perkins once again in need of an assistant. There was a great price for grain that year, so she selected oid ‘Timothy Mueller, who was reported to be the best agriculturist in the country side, but he was struck with par a fortnight after their wedding, so our poor | Juliana had to sow her own se as she sowed, for her help meet , less as a log. She nursed him well too, after | her own practical determined manner. Though she often grumbled at the nuisance he was. ‘‘I will never marry another old man, Timothy, when you die,” she would often say. ‘¢ They are more trouble than was had no | | \ iRANDPA—* Look Johny, what a birthda. Now, when 1 was a bof- Jounny—* Oh, come off! what are iy | liberal, you might fork they are ever worth, what with nursing them, and doctoring’ them, and feeding them, and burying them, they are more trouble and more expe nd less good or profit than any other man or beast on the farm.” vor old ‘Timothy often implored her to seck for a divorce, but she knew her duty too well for that. She had married an old man and must abide by her choice, but she would never be so foolish in. Sowhen ‘Timothy did die at last and buried, she was as good as her word, and married a young, strong, active man, who worked the farm, bought and sold, drove the laborers, and—the greatest feat of all, bossed the Mr: Often and often she sighed for the old loves, who, sick, helpless, and paralytic as they” we at any rate had the merit of being subm The Dude. A cutar who temptation has never withstood, Who has never earned clothing, or shelter, or food; Who gambles or dances, whatever his mood, And belongs to a won't-work-at-all kind of brood; A fellow who never will do what he should, Who won't work if he can, and can’t if he would; A dandy who'd mash every girl, if he could, With a form that is fragile and look that is lewd; With a quantum sufficit of brass—but no good, A stranger to manhood and all gratitede; An ape in man’s cloth boor most rude And this, my dear Jupor, i culine dude! A New York politician, renowned for his long-headed sagacity, has put forth the fol- lowing probabilitie: ‘That the presidential place in the latacs: lection will take that one of the parties will be defeated; that the result of the clec- tion will not be wholly satisfactory to the defeated party; that if the defeated ‘party be laid out flat“as annihilation itself, it will, before the end of the next four years, pick itself up and put itself together sufliciently to be able to hope that it will have better luck next time; and so on, world without end, you sir thirly-cight calibre six-shooler. THE BOY OF THE PERIOD. Defiance. I'm a Buzzard from the Brazos 0: Hear me toot! I'm a lifter of the tlowi ks ¢ Hear me hoot! I'm a racker from the Rov of all the town the talk is, Ne’s a Pirate of the Pampa: On the shoot.” Those who love me call ne“ Lit I'm Terror o! n bet y nickel-plated teasers, rusty-featured set. Sometimes I strike a Paint it red. Choke the Sheriff, turn the Marshal upside down On his head. Call for drinks for all the party, And if chinned b; I'm a cayote of the Sunse! Hear me zip! In the company of gentlemen I'm With my lip. Remove that ni figure! Down in front! Or P'll perforate hi Tam tly, Tam tlig ter, Lam tip! A MAIDEN coy at cooing on s sti he The girl's lip wore a smi “T love the The faint a “And I, “Would dy quoth the boy, an nd do it were it mine. want td That's my re Prairie Dude, et! na tear; of hair; tle Dynamite.” f the Night, n unprotected town, n rude and tall, slim boy slip wore a slight moustache, \d stroked the siren softly sighed, He left that maiden like a flash, A minute to the mile trifle not with youth's mou When sitting on a stile. A ustache —Tezas Siftings. for your an out comicbooks.com ;