Judge — April 12, 1884 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ha hundred francs, and left after agreeing to do it for fifty. I didn’t propose for a picture I intenc it was completed. I gave the artist several sittings, and they were not a bit of a bore, for he was real nice looking and most entertaining, and I certainly never had as many complit all my life as he paid me while doing the portrait. I wfully sorry when it was finished, for I missed his society wonderfull Well, all things must have an end last the picture was done. It arrived in just the proper time for a scene—as I was ziving a small reception that afternoon. Phe Marquis and Marquise de M—c, and Baron —t and several Americans were in the dancing room. As soon as | heard the painting had been sent home | ordered it to be brought up. There w sensation when it was pro- duced, I can tell you. ‘They all crowded around and admired it, and Baron ID. said it was exquisite and almost ‘charmante as ze lady herself.” It was a lovely picture and a good portrait, but I was not to be deterred from my purpose. Of course they all wanted to know the name of the unknown artist, but I pretended I didu’t hear them; I stormed around the room, declared the thing made me look a fright, and finally snatched it from the hands of the Marquis and threw it on the fire in the grate. Ina moment it was in a blaze, though the Baron tried to save it. Heraclitus didn’t know | had had it painted till the day it arrived, and I saw he was very much pleased with it; but when 1 threw it in the fire, he, for a second, looked astonished, and after that disgusted. For- tunately, he knew enough to keep his mouth shut till the guests had departed. Soon after the conflagration they took their leave—but I noticed a supercilious smile on the lips of the Marquise as she pay over ten dollars d to burn as soon as ble expr When the rooms were empty Herac began his sermon, and said I’d'made a fool of myself. (thanked him for the delicate way he had of expressing himself, but he was angry, and stormed and blowed so, that I left the room and sought seclusion in my own dress- ing-room. The Marquise has not been to c and yesterday when I met her driving Bois she pretended not to see me. I wouldn’t have her nasty French temper for all the titles she’s got. The Marquis is ever so much nicer, He led already two or three times, and says he doesn’t blame me in the least, and that ‘ Mada was never more piquante or charmante t when she threw the portrait in the flami This is all very well—but not a word hy been said about it in any of the papers, and none of the New York correspondents have taken the slightest notice of the affair. This only goes to prove what I said in the first place, that only the millionaires’ wives get talked about in print. I think I shall apply for the position of correspondent to some American paper, and then I can report myself, if no one else will. Heraclitus fine made a fool of himself too, for he has found out the name of the artist T employed, and engaged him to paint the portrait of our little Kathleen, and is going to pay him two hundred francs for it. told him he need never grumble again at my says the artist. was imposed upon and then insulted, and that two hundred francs is small compensation for my treatment of him. I never saw such an exasperating man in all my life. He will drive me m: F with his old-fashioned notions of honesty and pro- pricty, and all that. It is to be hoped that I will preserve my reason through all I have to endure, but I| should not be at all surprised if a Iunati asylum was the last home of PENELOPE VENNYPEATHER. | “Lines by Oleomargarine.” On, adulterate me, if you must do it; E-at lots of m ‘ou're doing it use to rue it Of course you're not aware of it, Or els And have no c ui wouldn't do it M.y friends, I'm telling you the truth You need not storm or splutter, A lot of little candle ends Are rescued from the gutter; Rescued and cooked, with skill and care“, And make good, sound, sweet butter. Give me my proper name, dear friends, Ido not want to hide it A-nd have my fame, with common Unequally divided. Reest easy, Lam just the stuff 2 With which you're now provided. “buerre” Ion doing thus you'll save some cents In every bill you're paying, N-ow don't, in future, heed one word, Your grocer man keeps saying; t me, and your petitioner Will ever more be praying, Touso-Tacoune has arrived from Siam With a skin like the rind of a ham; People laugh at the hoax, Barnum pockets the jokes And the money, and es not —n\ A SIGN OF APPROACHIN 10 toot pin upon a chair about to be occupied. comicbooks.com