Judge — April 5, 1884 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE POPULAR MIND HAVING TURNED KINDLY TOWARDS PUGILISM PAPER MAKER TO THE JUDGE SHOWS SOME POPULAR DES to be had for love or mor nd as for shamrogue its not to be seen, and in many and many a townland the crathurs are tee- tolly tossicated by the shnakes, beginning from the grate say surpent a hundhred miles long in itsstockin’ feet down to the pisonous lizard, and the man eather that inside of you and eats up all your food fasther than 1 gives you the hungry complaint, same as auld Dowd had who kilt his family intirely, dhrinkin’ the milk of six cows be fore his breakfast in the mornin’. ‘The saints presarve us all from the like. Why, I heard tell the other day that beyant in ‘Tasmania they were that tormented by the shnakes that t cudn’t live or die, and the bastes were that vinimous that they didn’t need to touch yon or taste you, only give one grin and the sight of their teeth kilt a man as ded asa herrin’. Will, things wint on like that till auld Guvnor Gibbs, wan of the sur- vivors, married an Irish wife. When the shnakes heard of it, they knew purty well they wuc on be med to change thei ne, but thinkin’ maybe to cow her, they wint on in her own garden as bauld as thieves; but begorra, she well able for thim. She ups and sinds over to Cork for a few barrels of the Irish soil containing the roots of the shamrogue. Of course she got them out by the hundred, and ittin her gardin clared out of the shn: he dug a trench round it and filt it up with the good clane soil that kum straight from auld Ireland with the howly Saint Pathrick’s blessin’ on it, and from that day to this there niver was the sign of a snake to be scen in that garden or anywhere convanient to it. I hope soon to hear from you, and how the day wint off in the ould place. Knowin it bein’ on the market day, I’m more than cer- tain there was fine nd plinty of broken THE WALL: NS. heads, which than walkin afl {ther all is more to my taste aisy through the sthrects, with where the shillelagh should ,and him still like a dere he rimimber how tell him’ I feel to brother, and him do I cracked open his head at the St. Pathri fair at Ballysheelan. ‘Till him, me s sore to think how far aw and that meybe I'll niver have a ¢ him n G me love to me sisters, and tell Betty sh yetter stay at her sarvice till [can sind fe Shamus Fee, suppose he had the thre Id itself, wud be ne inatch for sa good-for-nothin omadhoun, and if he was thrun afther her she shudn't take him, suppose he was hung over with gold. Rimimber me to all in- quirin’ friends and give my duty to Father Mick. [ hope all the childher and pigs is well and the calves thrivi o more at present from Your dutiful son, at McCLavonney, ft often gi Terrestrial Angels. Witex Hymen’s torch flames up with brilliant hue, Each fond swain thinks to him an angel's given; But, ere the ho! May wish their her tittle hand in mine, As ake we skated; And met the glances from her eye, With purest love Her pretty face was very I stooped and fondly kissed her; And all the other fellows wi They, too, could kiss—my The Thought of the Age. “And while we are being tossed upon this seething current of nineteenth century in- vestigation,” said Profe y concludin: lecture the other e “let us, my friends, strive to keep abi with the thought of the age.” ‘The Professor was right; he wa re, he didn’t mention what nor state the particular kind of thought with which we were to enter into such close companionship. And, after all, when you come to think of great deal depends on that. Take the age of one year, for instance en at that we kept should say, the breast kept us. s that out; that is not the idea. n thought was to keep abreast—tat’s it! we exercised our intellectual facul that tender period. Along about four or five, when the mind was not directed to dirt 1 the soilin pinafores, we had pleasing, sportive, jo thoughts—putting the bent pin on pa’s chair, picking the gl out of sister’s doll, blowing the fish-horn in Aunt Sophronis while she was taking her afternoon nap. Shakespe associates the sixth the slipper. Ie is wrong there ; his expe- rience must have been exceptionally pleasant. We were introduced to the slipper in the fourth How dainty was the workman- ship, how elegant the embroidery !—thou that thought never occurred to us till now. At that time we were strongly impressed with its flexibility. As we saw it coyly peeping from beneath the folds of the silk inspired with a v ing trouble, wad ‘ou see, ties even gue nd quietly re- treated. sight of ¢ a peeping slippers ¢ Inspired, but not with terror. retreat—oh, We Why don’t they put me_in pants nt plaid aid. Also. boots. pa’s pants for me? should. Hat her, or she Grandma says her for that. Will not tell won't give me crullers when 's baking. Boots! They will have be new. Certainly, can’t wear pa’s boots Aristophanes Artichoke has 3 pants, and carries a cane on Sunday am certainly treated very meanly. [ww was Aristophanes’ brother. If I was my hair would be curly, like his. Thought at twelve: [ read about how, in nina barrel, with inside the barrel, and then him all round. I'd like to sce the man that invented sch 1 that way. I'd like to roll the b —me and Jim Carruthers. W that. And I'd like another barrel for the eacher, Mr. Quibble ; another for the prin- nd one for Miss Crimp, yes, I'd like one for every teacher in the school. Would like to start from the top of a big hill, and and hear ‘em holloring like mad boots, we inside. Thought at fifteen: Wish they'd d what they are going to make of me. ys a lawyer, my mother says a clergyman, my grandmother thinks the tanning business is good. (I tell her I had enough of that when I was little. I have told her that about 506 times. She alw ughs, takes a pinch of snuff, and says, “ Aye, Aye. Uncle Rufus wants me to come over in his glue factory. Ile says if I stick to the comicbooks.com