Judge, 1884-03-29 · page 4 of 16
Judge — March 29, 1884 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The Judge" Page Analysis This page contains Irish-dialect humor and satirical poetry typical of late 19th-century American magazines. **Main Content:** The large left column presents a rambling Irish-accented monologue by a streetcar conductor describing a St. Patrick's Day incident involving an injured woman. The heavy dialect humor—common in the era—relies on stereotypical Irish working-class speech patterns. The narrator worries his wife Maggie hasn't returned home, suggesting domestic anxiety beneath the comedy. **"Pen Pictures from the Poets"** (right section) offers satirical brief scenarios based on famous literary quotes. These mock sentimental Victorian poetry by applying famous lines to mundane or ironic situations—a schoolboy beaten by teachers, a thief in jail—deflating the romanticism of the originals. **"Lines" section** contains satirical advice about journalism and social behavior, targeting editors, printers, and society etiquette. The overall tone is working-class vernacular humor mixed with literary satire, characteristic of Judge's approach: poking fun at both immigrant stereotypes and pretentious middle-class culture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
NG OPENING IDGET, AN THIN TER WURRUCK, th uv Mairch vowerliss totakea dhr am himsilf.” the place an pro- ie to her midi- ilf that fur the axidint At woman all ¢ an wid a voile loively, | ‘ocoom the boord, bell, and the mid Under the cir- vy in loike casis | was fast oide oi shpalpeen i inkli lit ; dU around and by woman Was oop an coomin m: As sl imbered me rme sow oi her the ca the lower shtey 1 man are in fwhat oid an the yf her voil e darli , owin t soi own a nivir black silk an the sale She come too in a mi id thin for- her. z oi. where did ur me blood gittin m wan w coom aboord, uv the eair, and fell to ked wid the her lave, bat aw that sh sack was ind wn the intoire hours It does m ‘The bizne: y but the Pathrick thimsilves w aynience, whoile oi shtood le | THE JUDGE. on the platform av me cair, wid me hand | me pockets a whistlin an a si con Wearing av the Grane,” an t Pathrick’s day in the Mornin’.”” Its a foine thing to live ina free counthry, whare the sons uv the sile hev the roight"av way in the shtrates, wan day in the year at laste [Nore.—I wonder where Maggie me woife tll this toime. i've writtin all the above since oi came from me cair, an no uv her vi peraps ke uv toppe its murdhered she’s bin, the saleshkin s Its her aspirations intoirely, ver we'll have no moar rinting i these primises, Oi’ve soigne wan plidge an oi'll make her soign anothir to give up bades, an flouncings an furbelows. In the mane toime oi’d loike me supper.) | toime she s un hereaft foine clothes on JENT BUSINESS, HOARDING MOUSE SUSPENSION, Lines Dropped In the course agreeable correspondence. INTER TO VE HAUG When others play that prance y ditorial ot the YE Poor TY EDITOR 1 may If you car piper pay You'd better p# the paper YE MACONTY EDITOR To VE Now OR PRINTER » to the—tobacconist; To him for For any weed upon his list He gives you qurid pro quo But you who have a horny palm, That constantly h, 50 much pay te Giving no “* what” Take keep y for 4 warm, which.” A secret now I'll tell to you L always pay my way Because—the rule is simple too- T always weigh my pay Ifto blish over m A printe 1 try Your typ f terror on will see graphic error, | y you A man may his own office run, Even if it run With his ideas in He who runs may ced, exo. A raceriovs gentleman who has suffered, thinks the modern recipe for a party is the following ke all the ladies and gentle. | men you can, put them into a room with a small fire and stew them w e ready a | piano, a handfal of prints and drawings, and throw them in from time to time; as the | mixture thickens, sweeten with politeness and n with wit, if you have any; if not, | flattery will do as well, and is very cheap; when all have stewed for an hour, add ices, jellies, cakes, lemonades and wines.”—The | Beacon. | OIRISH ORDER. “CANT YER WAIT MIKE, THL EWaAs WIDDOUT BEING SO MOIGHTY DL Pen Pictures from the Poets. SULIECTS PROM MOORE, BURNS, TENNYSON, MITH AND OTHE 'y waits thee "—as the tenced the man for drunken sult of over- “Go where (Me)gle magistrate when to the Island for six nd disorderly conduct indulgence in table be mor th “A cutet’s amar akin’ ny r quietly observed, as he | f to the contents of the 37th stily help safe in the “Ou, (but) for the touch of a vanished hand, and the sound of a voice that isstill— I shouldn't feel as bad as do,” whimpered the urchin on his way home from school after receiving a sound whipping and scolding. “Stone walls do not a prison make iron bars a cage—for me,” the thief he forced himself through the hole he I made in the wall, and took to his heel. “* FLine but one, the giant dies ’—as David remarked as he laid out Goliath, «Rie and rare were th but which t as the poe marked, 51 contemplatit pair of coral bracelet, had just re gems she wore— she'll wear no Moore ‘tical and facetious footpad re- ng down upon a stump, and with evident satisfaction a 1 diamond rin hawl pin, of wh lady. “Remore, unfriended, melanchol; —the tramp plaintively sighed, through the kitchen door with ad : Ieisurely down the strec t with half a cold chicken, a loaf of bread, two pounds of sweet cake, the remains of a boiled ham, several silver spoons and a napkin ring, in’ the ab- sence of the cook. while some shoat aloud nd others Linc—oln to another nam few vociferate that ‘T, come sir, or John, is Sher-man; while yet more declare that they'll be Blained if they'll Grant it. nay, A NasuVILLe man was tined 8800 for k ing a school teacher. If it hadn't been for two or three of the scholars who ca them at it she wouldn’t have charged him a cent.—Burlington Free Press. comicbooks.com