Judge — March 8, 1884 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

[VARY J. H. Haverly. Il. Haverty, or, as he is familiarly known to his many friends, ‘Colonel Jack * od a type of the wake, rprising Americ: affords. Energetic und pi plucky with the pluck that not only refuses to accept defeat but even turns it into victory, he has made for him- self a name which is tolerably familiar where- is spoken. Pri- an, but the it is, Ito contain his vault en marily Col. I enw of public Fe hires » HT Her YHA} Yiog = = SS \\\ | WL \ NS a Chicago race-course, Jolora mine, and other little e issues of that nature; but primarily, and before everything else, he has been for many years the most active and enterprising caterer to the public taste in amusements in the country. Haver- ly’s Theatres to be found in about «i dozen of our principal cities; Haverly’s Minstrels are to be met with wherever burnt ork is appreciated on either side of the At- ntic, and memory carries us back toa time when Haverly’s Pinafore Companies were pervading this broad land and carrying the gospel of Gilbert and Sullivan wherever a piano could be made to jingle or a brass band i | hall, and the voice of | phant exit from the patent uprigh of the populace. Col. Haverly isa man who no more needs an introduction to THe Jupee’s ers than good wine needs a bush, but we think that very many pcople, to whom Haverly’s name has been a house- hold word, will be glad to have an authentic portrait of the great n ger, in memory of some of the pleasant evenings they have spent at one oranother of bis cntertainments. The Romance of the Fair Laurinda Letitia. a calm sunny morning The baker, with his customary had fired his rolls into the basement the milkman was he land. His piereing shriek had penctrated the tympanum of our fair and frazile heroine, Laurinda Letitia, who awoke with a start and made a hasty but triam- folding bed, that transformed itself into hy day, to ornament the ma’s boarding house in I ) ; ne was deep in the mysteries of her s she stood before the mirror or e bang and her new aangtry tuck-up, she was heard to exclaim, in a voice of concentrated misery, ness gracious, how that corn does hurt But when she tackled a pair of 3 1y heeled slippers (misfits that she hac bought cheap on Eighth Ave. the day be and attempted to plant within them he zuish was painful to witn uman effort she ttain an upr rod- 6 feet, he By a sup get them on a and then, hobblir that stood behind a ote cor- ner of her apartment, she extracted from the hidden recess a bottle, labeled Oriental Kalsomine. it position, p washstane cation of the white-wash ‘0 obliterate nt shoes had and when the traces of pain that the stamped upon her recedix the brazen breakfast bell 1 that the sausages and buckwheat cakes were ready for the matutinal onslaught, she was able to seat ut the table with apparent t for the world would she have had one of her mother’s boarders suspect that her Spanish arched feet were adorned with a supertluity of horny excrescences, and not for a wilderness of worlds would’ she have mentioned anything as vulgar as corns in the presence of the latest addition to her mother’s list of hash consumers, the elegant yonng dude who wore such swell clothes and occupied the rear hall bed-room on the top ernon Au- never know agony she assuming a smile of serenity corded with the torture she was experiencing, she nonchalantly spread the fragrant olcomargarine over her buck- wheat and listened to the soft remarks the young swell. Ter answers to his ques- tions were r f, it must be confessed, but lest i moment she should emit an unm ) she felt the stern necessity of keeping her mouth as tightly closed as possible, and thus her replies were mostly in monosyllables. One thing she then and there secretly resolved to do. As soon as Algernon Au- gustus should take his departure, she would put on a pair of old boots, and, closely veil- foreign gustus must endured; so that but illy could be procured to stir the sensibilities | ing herself, would proceed to some chiropo-