Judge — February 9, 1884 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

an purks covers his wild- | making himself a 8 8 to the conductor, as he is never certain how he will get on or | off. | ‘The usual method is to in first, and, after the car has got under way, to look | around complacently to see what luck his fran and the children had in ‘The ide the wife and child in notice. | passe gers in large cities fall upon the heads Dutchmen, at least-they bear Duteh 1 1 slow thinker he never mis: tunity to stay where he is But this is digression, Some fine morning, not long after. his ad- | vent into the neighborhood, the Americ fails to take his shutters down, Hans looks at his clerk significantly, re- marking: “He overshleps mit himself alrett Tam of the opinion that the reason for) this is the generous measure the Teuton gives. His nasty way of handling goods is winked | at by the customer, whose aim is to get good | nd weight. e have seen him break off a lump of butter, with his immense hands, often bearing the marks of the coal dust of ’82, or maybe, 1 soil of fatherland. : We have seen him dexterously apply the knuckle of his thumb to his” no: nd sprinkle a gentle shower on the spinach, at the same time he would build such a tower of potatoes on the half-peck measure that the customer could not find fault with any of his eccentric w: The only time his hands approach any perfection of cleanliness is on Saturday | night, being atime saur kraut is generally bought. He forks it out of a barrel with the five tines nature has affixed to his immense spades, causing them to assume a presentable | appearance for Sunday. cis a hardy man to deal with, for you | can blow him skyhigh, whenever and where- | evel u like. What the pride of the American grocer would resent, his Dutch opponent answers | witha 24 After afew years, havi cumulated a competence, he yearns to see his old friends i herland, “and generally makes the Voy: age. . The figure of bloated w in the rural vil th that he cuts » of his boyhood is too sacred for these p: filling the minds of the youthful rusti around, with a burning desire to come to America and an- tagonize some other American groce When he returns, he usually brings over a half dozen woodlen-shoed marches out of Castle Garden, his uncouth brigade, with the air of one who has been there before. Is he ashamed to lead the column up Broadway? Well, scarcely. Wu should it be particularly easy to rob the house of an old man? Because his gait is feeble, and his locks are few. Wry is a man too drunk to walk like rapid transit in Brooklyn? Because, though elevated, he is not ready for travel. Oxe of our foremost men—Herr Most’s | father. He had to be ‘fore Most. | That the sun-1 THE JUDGE. y HIBOR Mrs. Pact Pry— Mrs, Currsutrox Won from the Waste-basket. ACTALE OF TIE Posstiite Marearet Corton Biarsey has and the blood dab Dabbles the runs riot in the veins of he | Margaret has many foe es, who are constantly 1 to Miss Blarney’s patrons i address} hem with tales of the n of their own rejected effusions by this new favorite. Margaret C, Blarne never reads rival ma, s them not; she ys ate | tention to reported e . D one knows or ever seen her. Report says she ever issues forth in the vulgar, garish ay. ht but serves to gnide her pen through sonnet and rondean, or to add a line and signature to the effusions so greedily sought by the editors of the ‘ Cen- tennial” and ** Gothamite This = tricity but naturally tends to heighten her 3 already begun to rely upon her y-born fame n formerly. | bad results tion, She is as popular as ever. . . * . The famous humorist of Mirth” is un- happy.. What avails his riscomica wheneditors reject his pastorals? His w | poems meet but scorn? Y able. It sickens him to reflect that he much of his reputation to his oft-repeated travesties on the goat of Theocritus. “Only females with three names, groans, *‘catch the degrade Wearily he turns the pagesof an exchange that caters to the degraded, but suddenly drops it, while his face bl ; LY REGARD, What makes Mr. Cuffbutton stay aay from his home so much?” To avoid meeting impudent neighbors, 1 suppose.” Hastily grabbing a pen, while a sudden | inspiration seizes him dashes off * An | Orphan Dandelion,” in verses long pent up— | signing Then, di- it to his own editor in chief, he He makes py, dates it and puts it ina blank envelope, then entrusts It toa surprised and amused confrere, witha request for its retention till called for, In the natural course of events, “An Or- hides its blushes in the fictitious nom de plume. d humorist is seen eagerly searching the of the latest. exchany His seareh seems rewarded approaches the holder of th ous pack: Open and read,” he says, excitedly. “ But—but,” begins the other, us catches t of verse “Read, I say, read!” shouts the poet. He reads and an open mi before him, with more verses, ow, read this, tohim, ms zine is placed “Tt seems to be pretty much the same old s, wearily, Did you aret Colton Blarney your nom de plume? Vecongratulate you, old bey, You know I always said that if you only per- severed ”—— “Did I write it? My nom de plume? Is the goat’s traducer, dancing round ina But he quiets down, explains the cand relates the sending and rejec- tion of the “ Orphan Dandelion” « But I don’t quite see,” says the other. ats the oot scorn= rgaret Colton ret C, Blar- he screams, seem- ight in variations of the hated —he pauses for breath. the gross pla x to tuke del THE WASTE-PAPER MERCHANT." comicbooks.com raded ear, MalG. ay SYS