Judge — February 9, 1884 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Thoughtful Husband. A Detnort lady, who is subject toh ease, took tea last Sunday with a neig id while sitting at table, her husband in without a hat, and in his shirt hurriedly you know t be alm!" he exclaime his wife don't excite you can‘t stand excitemen wors ve elf 3 sand it mig cried his wife; ** the childr “They're get ex sep calm be helped now; we must tions of Providence w “Then it’s mot! “Your mother’s safes but don’t hur bewf any use Lean do. Lonly came to excited, ‘or _merey sake fainting woman, * Well quences bi to prepare you excite yourself chimney’s on fire, i and all the n She surviv ight! Now, Mury, don’t and ‘cool—it can’t bear those visita- h philosophy!” hts ivife. geton your things or worry, It's too late to | bat Vl fly back > what | II you not to get | we and s implored the tell me the worst if you will have it, the conse- your head, Mary. I've tried wud if you will know—don't and survive—but our the whole department whbors are in our front yard! Free Press almost | How They Provided for Her. Op Pere Bristow, charter member of the Knights of the Cotton Stalk, and a gentle. man whose color of intensified darkness en- titled him, at one time, toa special ¢ ment of protection in the freedman’s was recently knocked from the unste podeat lof life by the hard hand of « happily in that faith whieh ayed many a weary soul, and with h “uth commended his wife to t care it noble order of knights of whieh he afounder. IL maried with great play, two drums and a tremulous fife, blown slippery little ne ha monstrous leading the proce sveral weeks aft Bristow e: on the the con and said: wl led heah, s: a little bus'n What's ¢ Planter, ‘ain't yer husband buried yer tas’ “Oh, . he wuz put away fine, but it’s de libin’ ‘stead o” de di how wanster yer ‘tention, no meat down ter my “l * he'p “Yas, but [ un‘erstood dat de order 0” knights wuz ter he'p mo ‘long in de worl.” The High Pla the woman for a mome : “Lady, yer’s no doubt innocent 0’ de gall of dis worl’.” Dar’s a few eve-teeth sum- mers about yer chile-like system dat ain't path, has last | of was dis- funeral, the widow h Planter, ruler of h, fur de puppus 0° mownin’.”” the High | mighty wd whut Dar ain't ‘an de teeth whut [hab got on bread for seberal days, id dat de s'ciety would ain’ My hus. take Kere 0” “Daughter 0’ the flesh, yer husban’ wuz a od man, a kind hearted man an’? fall, but he f to step offen dem very necessary articles p'litely knowed as his pins, When he flung out the jamation dat de conclave would take kere 0” yer, he meant well, but de brudders of de order to |‘ | my Quake THE JUDGE. ] didn’t jiae tn wid ‘him pe reactly i in dat id | We's alone mo’ fur yer chile o”de mists + den we does fur udder folks, we Thinks dat oughter satisfy yer. “What hab yer done fur m yer done? Jis name de fack. udy 0’ de hot temper an’ red peppery tion, yer talks wild. What \ abo we wedat am aquestion fur a smart woman ter ax. W’y, didn’ we sen’ yer o de re: wharin we said dat deLawd an’ decholera morbus had seed fit ter remube our de Co’se we did, Whut more ken yer ax Ik "bout chawin’ bread | in de face o” siel ah “ferred on ye : F n’ wash fur de white folks. Irkausaw Traveler. 0 an’ What hab copy A Story by Senator Frye. Is said ington pay sets Senator Frye, “that a r, ina very complimentary down as a poor man, ne O00, hat’s too much. rye. ** But the fellow who wrote docs not know the reason Lam so poor. ame about in this w I was brought na Quaker family, and when, in my I wot a chance to go up to Boston, andfather gave me &5 to spend. Tdid not know any boys in Boston, and I could think of no way to have & worth of fun without bo t home my grandfather asked me how Is} I, with theair of one who had “Tid not spend it at and have it in my Whereupon my grandfather give me back the money, Wi you that money to spend ai since that,” satd th better than to save mon nel. W notice worth ov said Mr. th It up hoyhe Lewiston Jour- Bring on the Bier. \ story is told of a provincial theater in y was personating Vir- aring for the scene in which ht on the stage hatte D. nins. Tn the hoy of the manager called to the Tri his property man—for the bier. Pat respond- ed tothe call atonce, and soon returned with a full foaming pot of ale, but was received with a string of anathemas for his confounded stupidity. "= The bier, you block-head!”” thundered the jant— nd sure, isn’s it here?” explained Pat, presenting the highly polished quart me: ure. T mean the ‘ot that, you stupid fellow? row for Dentatus. Then why don’t you call things by their right nam said Pat. “Who would imag- ine fora moment you meant the barrow when | you called for the beer.”— Exchange. Tue minute nuisance, anc man who comes round every few beggi for a match is rather a but when he slides into a crowd “Is there any man here who is mean enough to refuse to give me a match there’s nothing todo but to hand one over atonce, and if you don’t happen to have one, you really feel obliged to make an apology and explanation, to protect your- self froma suspicion of contemptible mean- ness, — fon Post. Tr fast men are generally the loosest | acters. — Teras Siftings. “Charity begins at Home.” “Siwer it down, and public charity ans takin’ de money which a man has saved by hard work an* economy an? usin’ it to support de ma us squandered tine an’ money widou to what became of him, “Itam blackmail on industry—it am a slap at cconomy—it ama hick at inde low does it come dat dis kentry con- stantly owin’ in? wealth an’ consti antly furs nishi ased chance ig iner Auicrica supported by men whose families need cent dey air: fur clothin’ an bread, rely on public charity in ease of wha ter. De kentry has ti am ery ‘who do win- as many pau- Why? Kase w ney to support raise five times asimueh n “ in queshun: If 1 work hard, week in an’ we if my wife works hard an’ economize an’ economizes—if we } cut ober—if we buy ¢ an’ pare the for a little hom for sickness or death, h right to ask me to giv As thrown away scores of dollars for fan’ tobacco—who plays kerds an’ s Ir money—who works only when lie feels like it—who never dreams of cconomy— who never practices self-denial? I reckon ! Let us now turn our faces toward de wteen ob bizaness.”—Brother Gardner in Detroit Free Press. n’ coffee, to pay inde bank man being a “penny to a man un? put mone y Wanted to Qualify. Mn. Perrer Doveuxet received an ap- pointment tooftice the other day, and with an portant air he strode into old Squire Squin- tum’s room and remarked: “Squire, I want to be qu office, and pretty blamed q The Squire looked hil ly said: “Well, Puffap, I can sw power on earth can qualify —Hatchet. ified for my new ick, too ver and then slow- ar you in, but no ou for the office.” Why He Didn’t Cure Her. A doctor obligated himself to cure a man’s . but failed. on said that you wonld cure her,” nt husband, wi claime Yes, Isa “Well, why didn't you?” “Wi, my dear sir, because she died. If she hadn’t died the neces are that she would have lived.”"—Arkansaw Traveler. Just What He Wanted. the orator man erday?” asked 1 politician b » mister, ain't y you t made a speech to us muntey bunipkin 0 dave “have that honor,” was the reply. D've remember what you said?” *Well na . T remember the substance of my remarks. “But why do you ask? “Why, you said that you made the welkin ring, a I've tried all over town to get one enough for Mariar’s finger, and there ain’t any big enong! dT thought as how I would come to your shop and get ye to her one of ‘them thar welkin rings. a stunner, and it'll take lots of welkin to make one big enough for her.—Neeman Independent. . wn comicbooks.com