Judge — December 29, 1883 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. | subject: the husband Ir does seem as if Dinah would never theent has been at sixes ven 7 thin m te come down to the kitchen and nid things, ant cook, n't leave her gives the order, doctor is an old sand Heraclitus od deal more yabout Dinah than he bout me, Wl this, Patrick and Marie are s 1 cach other that neither them is roanvth I. te make matter Mer has wat on an extra s! mas ti Ile said the ht that the cnstom of swapping presents is about played ont, as far as he is concerned, little money he'll sper I told him he talked like a bear, and then | he aaid, * Very likely, only he didn't: know before that bears were gifted with the powers of* conversation. ILowever, if they were called upon to celebrate Christmis, the exigencies of the oceasion m eanise them to do as did Balaam I remarked that [only made tongue when I said ** he dalked like a bear I should have been more explicit, and said he growled like the tr Iquadruped of the genus ursus, whose seat of intellect was always in such a di ing state of irrita- tion, And I rthermore informed him that, considering the trouble and expense I nt to last year to make him a handsome marks were absolutely insulti owled again, ** very expensive the gift was. [ well romember, for Thad to pay the bill myself. I certainly never saw such an unreasonable man in all my lif Ilow upon carth does he expect me to pay bills when he doesn’t | give me the money to do it with, I should,| like to know, * . When poor papa died I was a little girl, and he left everything to mama. she should remain a widow, or if she married again, the money was to be equally divided between my brother and my- self. ome until t nd that its precions | between now and For the first time in my life, n almost 1 she would quit the state of single ness. Of course, 1 don’t harm to come to mama, but, if I'm driven to the wall by the penurionsness of my band, I'll straightway set out to find suitable pei ra future step-father. Heraclitus I'd have a good time try- ing to induce mama to marry at her time of life. That she is such a sensible woman that he wonders how she ever came to have such a flibbertigibbet of a daughter as I. | dressi | can’t at | culinary department Oh, he does make me so mad, that Tsome- | times feel as if Teould leave him forever. | ‘Think of passing all one’s days with a man that won't even quarrel with ‘his mother-in- s venting all his spite on his law, but y wife. He has twisted mama so completely around his tinger that, if Lonce took the fatal step and went home, she would only say he was nd Twas) wron, nd would send me hack to him again; and aunt Penelope would 1 at the scandal and show me no merey. 7 don’t see what there would be to make such a fuss about. Lots of married people sepa und after they've been talked about people drop the ud wife go about as ud often, one or both of them get divorce and marry somebody else. Goodness knows, however, that if [once got my head sifely out of the matrimonial noose, forty wild horses couldn't draw me into it again. MIL want is to have ple nd be let alos Of course, if T got into a law. suit with my husband I'd be sure to get the worst of it unless I conld prove hing horrible about him. I'l wateh him, and if he makes me Ider, and T ean’t find outanything to hi credit, PM be wating that perhaps he'll beat me, or 1 strike me; then I'll go in for cruel and abusive trea nt. It without saying, that, after all this, I shan’t trouble myself to finish the elabor- ute embroidery Twas going to put on a vnforhim. I'll devote my © upa lot of pretty things for little Kath » mama and my brother, who will be home for the holid: and if Dinah to the culinary department, the rest of the ho for that matte re of it self. I wash my hands of the whole bu ness; I'm not going to be imposed upon any r. Down at Schwarz the other day I sawa beautiful and expensive toy, called the Bird Charme It would have delighted little Kathleen, and beside, would have been a decided acquisition to the parlor; but I don’t suppose Heraclitus would spend two hundred and twenty-five dollars for a toy, if it would save all our lives, . Oh, . I feel so blu d miserable that T believe Mil order the coupe and take Kath- leen around to all the toy stores. She will enjoy the fun, and perhaps [can find some- thing I can buy for m: and baby too. As for Heraclitus; well, language fails to ex- s my feelin Unless P undergo a © between now and Christmas much as a tooth- ant wif YPEATHER. before, mornin: pick fre PS. Sucha strange thing has happened since | wrote the above that I don’t know what ton : | On my way down town, I thought I'd pin at Jones to get a pair of kid gloves, twelve button length, that I greatly needed. | as everybody knows, has two stores connecting. in one of which the gloves are kept. In the other are all sorts of thin; silk hose, ete Tentered the saw my hu in th love store, I distinctl: ad standing befor counter other store, While pretending to | look at the gloves I kept one 1 my young man, who seemed to be examining je lace fichns and silk ho I wonder the girl that was waiting apon me didn’t get ont of patience, for 1 kept fumbling over the ganés until my husband | ‘of the other two me | of my novel menu was the f had ¢ ted. 1 mined to find out what he had purchased; so I paid for the gloves, went into the other store, and non- chalantly said to the girl, What is the price of those silk hose that gentleman just bought?” Oh, he didn’t buy the hose," she said, “he only took a silk jersey and a lace man- uilla.” “Oh.” T said, “then you keep silk jer- seys? Have you a bhick one thirty-six inches bust measure “Oh yes, madame, we have some thirty: and thirty-six inch ones: but the gen t thirty-eight in we had Aha! thought 1. The silk jersev, price thirty-five do is not for me. Meracli- tus knows my size perfectly well. and the mantilla doul gether. it only remains me to find out wh fortunate unfortunate, woman is) that ppts presents from my husband, to prove his perfidy to all the world I thanked the girl for showing me the things, but like a fool, I left the store with- out finding out wha ve for the lace fichu, Twas afr too inquisitiv but I wish now I'd prolonged the conve tion, Never mind, I fecl quite sure I'm on the right t at last, and I declare, the little adventure lifted a burden from my mind that I really enjo: ing around to the other stor beautiful doll ur the bi it myself; but it is such a beauty that I st have a dress maker cut and fit the el The ¢ child will be delighted, and she shall have a merry Christmas, whatever happens to her dev PP. Alonzo Busbee: His Life and Im- pressions. BY WILLIAM GILL. xix. “I dare do all that may become a man, Who dares do to: Tombs lawyer!” —Howe and Hummel. Ar this stage of my career on the i vas playing * Freeze Out” with Nature, and Nature was rapidly coralling my chips." 2 [ stated in my last chapter, I had provided myself with clothing ingeniously constructed out of the skins of my defunct comrade and Twas in the possession of a sufficiency of food. I indulged in dishes which the prouuest emperors of Rome, during its most uxurious epoch, never dared to dream of in their wildest gastronomic flights of fancy | Lucullus himself, who invented the ¢ brated side-dish composed of nightingale tongues, must henceforth occupy standing: room only while Alonzo occupies the prose nium box in the gourmand’s Theatre of I What do you think of this for a diets ‘tem? Breakfast—lion steak, bear choy monkey's kidney red down with walrus oil. Dinner—hyena tenderloin, leg of goat, elephant’s ear (a great, and, most expensive delicacy), and | pagne, which [cut ont of the frozen river, nd served up in blocks, Supper—a rehash substituting dog, antelope, giraffe, or others of the numerous four-footed with the dead bodies of which I was surrounded. ‘The only draw- hack I experienced to the perfect enjoyment et that acertain sameness pervaded my dishes, inasmuch as my mode of cooking each of them was the comicbooks.com