Judge — October 20, 1883 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

woman last summer when I disposed I iT he would incredulous as to my sharp bargaining, but Tdon‘t dare tell him that E know a second hand creature when [see one, He'd be fu rions if he knew I'd had one in the house, and I’m half distracted because [ean’t find his last-winter’s overcoat. [begin to. fear that ina moment of excitement [sold it with the other things. I know he has or dered a new one, but if he should happen to miss the old there’d be mu Never mind! 1 utanything but the of his ea ww to think insurance bu ex} h money out of him to buy a furniture, earpet and curtains as well, Fil hide my diminished head. As for Heraclitus, he certainly has no one but himself for his blistered hands, whatever he may think about his feet, and so ashamed of his folly in setting fir und has called himself an ine many times that [haven't to reproach him. fn fact I ure did burn up. sorry about the curt sphiny or aw phonix, or whatever from the hand to blame fernal idiot d the heart f articles: (ies nthe iumphant PENNY FEATHER, Mrs. Squizzles’ Journal. Anovt the meanest thing a man can du is to run off to some watering place during the heat of the summer, and leave his poor wife at hum, Well, Jabez Squizzle did that very thing—he skip'd for Newport. | made up my mind he'd from Provi- . if he did VT wa ta shakin’ t from me n't surpri an unknown individual, a after he'd left, sayin’ he was ina dyin’ con- dition, and [must eum T looked sharp at the boy wl letter, and sez I, ** how Jon go to Newport “Dunno, mum,” know a1. kum—I was here already,” sez bre sez he. how long you was a- here, then? rat wire wldle that T tell Jabez . already.” objected to that mode of convey . 80 T cleared the sassy fellow out. Not ten minntes after, there came another er ina brown envelope just like the first, and I was ordered to come immegitly. Sally Mari, who in’ the pa- und duins at nes on me rs we'd better i stock in the ‘Three times in my mar. | ried life I've bought bumberzine and. krape | for Squizzle, and three times he’s d t- ed my sad expectations, so I told S: if she'd try and keep up her f keep up mine, and we wouldn't go off in a wailtill we got there; then if there Was enything to wail for we'd have a saved- up force. She put on her Duches de Allin- lid I. » more ither of us | and a pi LANDLORD'S Vike? Mr. NEVER-TARE-IN-\GAIN—My (rn Propureron—Great Seott and little je on my new blue bunnit . in spite of Jabez, with iy : feathe und We set off ini flyin’ kolors for Newport. When we arrived, where do you think we found that man Squizzle Dead? Not mutch! but he mite as well hay been, and half a dozen others with him. As we | the Cu ate confusion—things wer out of the windows—and, hearin’ a voice that sounded like Squizzles, we stept inside, There he was, sure enuff, rite inthe midst of a loaferish lookin’ set of fellows, all eatin® and drinkin’ and shyin’ bottles and dishes at cach other's heds. flyin’ lively f i r, and befcre | : lass struck 1 pletely delugin’ sit, hot. from 1 top of S. reamed, her v 1 aborde there seemed to. tumblin® wer on the side my new bly the fryin’=pan, Mari’s Allinc landed square rn hat. She some of the mistakin the car-whistle, shouted * By that time Vd got purty. mad "a grab for Squizzle, who stoo« punch-bowl a-ladlin’ out ¢ gave him one shake and a twist, which s the egg-nog a-flyin’ in one direction and him nut o” breath when T cum second time. in the world are you a-duin’ here? had “l my sex Ih a-tryin’ to. shake some of the drunk out of you,” sez I. reckon that’s what vou te od me for— y spree find you in, with a of fellows that look like jale birds and viet “Why this, my dere, is a little entertain- ment got up by’us Amerycans to show our PROTECTION Whel's that? You kept one for me once. 1 came prepared furrin titled visitors. I was a hand in, and I did it,” sez he. you did, I re was mean a you respect for ou asked to tak * Of cour anythin didn’t want a hand in.” * Don't speak so lone only alittle to “Then Vil + There's the never g lowe kritter that fired the pain gh my head, the } Hush,” sed Jabez, “That's Lord Prim- ve you ought to feel hilv komplimented at such delicate attenti adistin: ed individual at hum in the old country, am told. * He'll be an extinguished individ nines his pleasant pastime of firin wimmin’s hed sez I. ** But now I want an explanation about that telegram *T don’t remember much a chin’ his hed ble last night, orning the butler didn’t scem to have ulty te arouse me. I suppose T may nse enough to murmur ‘Send “and then relapsed into a dead I knew if enyone could bring me out of one of these spells, y f ‘The upshot of the whole is, that Squizzles remains insensible yet, and will, as long as there’s any licker to be had. — He’s got in with an orful set of muffs, and his karracter will be entirely ruined if he remains much lon And Tand Sally Mari will have to nd take care of him : interests of the few must give way ald, in its dueit comicbooks.com