Judge, 1883-10-20 · page 14 of 17
Judge — October 20, 1883 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains a humorous dialogue between a fisherman and a government official about fishing productivity at "the Flats." The satire mocks bureaucratic absurdity: when asked how many fish are caught, the official produces exact statistics (3,200 per hour), which he multiplies mechanically to claim yearly totals—despite admitting nobody actually catches fish there. The joke targets government inefficiency and the era's faith in statistics divorced from reality. The official's confident recitation of meaningless numbers, contrasted with the fisherman's practical observation that "they never catch a fish," satirizes how institutions prioritize data over actual results. The accompanying column, "Brother Gardner's Advice," offers practical counsel to someone moving to Ohio, maintaining the magazine's mix of satire and gentle humor. The page is primarily text-based editorial content with period advertisements below.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE JUDGE. i Brother Gardner's Advice. Fishing at the Flats. | Restoration do Health | and Beauly emy “WiLL Moses Webst step dis way?” asked the 1 ck please | Pury have every data about nt. as the | Gir Plats. The ured down so fine that 1 the imagination to work on yen have ing 1s left for Tasked one of | Brother Finback, who ha a very quiet deep! interested member for the 1 ply | them how many tish he it lo the ¢ \ ner Sears, ulvanced to the desk, and the Government canal per hour, and he Vv Moses, [Varn tha are on the pint | mptly toplicd: | : mn’t imagine anything about it—I ob re movin’ to Ohio bo 1 , iia, ithe “nimlier 3.200. per | : a ' . hour. ‘Twenty-four times that give you the \ eh] wt. cetean wil kon rones correct figures fora day, and if you can mul- } Peeelsou tiply that by 36 days you have the number jist the same: an’ any tit : money “nafl to take a fre train an’ cam ‘or a yea res vary?” ttpan” see us you will find a it won't tho: emuch sir, nota vary. If you think they wve it.” What is the averay people whe come up here to fi ! 1 few furder font after eateh un to cut |" + Seven three -pound bass and three four- aw’ | pound picker 5 yon would do well to iat is, if they hire one of your boats | a out?” ; uvyer will work harder |" “+ Certainly. Under other cireumstances r dan “he will toconviet @ | they never catch a “Do you believe that fish ever sleep? ember, not if there is any biti should stand on the wharf FIRST CLASS presume the fish would go to. you.’ Grand Square é& Upright 7) TfL should go out and catch a bund pounds of bass and pickerel could I'd PIANOS. dat you can’t judg man an’? wife nat a Sunday-skule | ** Remember, dat i of fifty or s yornds here up he ‘i will return you de k' | vs ¥es, sin, We al eens Warerooms : 16 B. 14th St. & 129 B, 126th St. | ness tran nds’ weight. 1 Factory, N. E. comer 124th at. an e.. New York, ; mix beans wid i New y saa tives ob de n de freck- * Tome »hotogr . wrinkles worked out. “t_mean the y day or two. nis was a pickerel.” } limit is two poun Jo sometimes go out and OF ALL KINDS. | = Black Silks at the very Lowest Prices. Sherman, Noble & Go., No. 38 W, 23d St. SHERMAN, NOBLE & CO., Yemember, xl clothe taches a le up ont deception, *Remem larn de truf in’ your chara stop to lal affect- to sate | I stuppose p catch a bit ever heard of such 4 uch a thin alder r de leadin yallet. You kin now » your eyes an’ reflect an? { us proceed to carry on ne ob de meeti —De- ys good Inc my own lir de ustal pr troit Free Pre “Tf T should brit would I ¢ | set and “Do fish b hunge out of curiosity or from om a sense of duty, sir, They desire PERFECTION _ | AND VIEWS ON ALL SURITCTS | Up. eit We skiig at atuvgeon: Tes STE sREO aun ‘ON EN MIBITIONS g . a ‘0 ORL Mor 3 .C hurches, F sturgeon is hooked, would he make a run for | Qn Lawns, in Parlor ; it and tow the b ae ite will.” Electric Stereopticon htverlsing Co, | ‘Would I be-certain of a tow if I went 185 Fifth Avenue, N. | out with you? “Certainly. We couldn't do. business narantee such a trifling INSTITUTE : When we returned | him with the fact th nibble, he coolly repl | “Certainly not; 1 | simply to sce the didn't _go near The wind was also. too Ia at dark, and I charged Thadn’t even ha THE POPE MANUFACTURE AGENTS”: AN NOW GRASP A FORTUN: Ht worth BED Ere. Adress ¥.G. RIDEOUT & CO. 1 Barclay st, 8. ¥. | sme up here "Detroit Free Press. AVWARD Gear Agent. “401 Broadway N.Y.City comicbooks.com