Judge — October 13, 1883 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

] correspondent is noted, he brought himself | to unchor, so to speak, and proceeded to in- | terviow His Semi-Mongolian Imperialness. “How does Your Excellency like Aumer- | ica?” « Bing shee toki ong so!” was the gratify- ing reply. Your correspondent. informed His Consul-Generalship that such was the usual effect the first view of the country had upon strangers, but they soon got over it. «* What is the primary motive for your Ex- cellency’s visit?” Your correspondent was astonished to hear him reply, ‘Qua chung ing ki la cho bar koo ki so!” Your correspondent told him that he fear- ed if he tried that sort of game on with the Cabinet and Executive, the Secretary of State would be mad enough to throw his’ name at him, and that was a pretty hard one for for- eigners to tackle, and advised him to d on himself before he proceeded further. ‘This | seemed to impress him, for he replied, “I cho sung bac, ke bung ding bat; hoke gwung chi do gwog!” Your correspondent assured him that was the best and only thing he could do under the circumstances, and then proceeded to propound the next query “Have you seen John Ludovico Sullivan, the Bulwark of Boston?” Your correspond- ent could scarcely keep from laughing out- right when His Serene Nebulosity quaintly and humorously replied, ‘‘ Quog ko sikken dogalog ung chi!”—it was so characteristic of the man, and so thoroughly Corean. Being informed that he would not be al- lowed to decapitate a waiter who kept him waiting 25 minutes for a cup of coffee and a doughnut, His Effulgent Awfulness grimly replied, “‘ Bung choke sqwong!” Your co: respondent said it would serve him ri but, unfortunately, by the law of the land, all you could do to a waiter who brought you a ‘horn ”-steak when you had ordered fried oytera, or acup of chocolate when your soul panted for mixed ale, was to swear at him, if small and sickly ; if large and muscular, the wisest course to pursue was to allow him to read in your expressive features the won- der that one ordinary man could hold so much stupidity and tiot choke. Your cor- respondent next asked His Lord High Nibs what, out of all he had witnessed in Ame ica, had impressed him the most? He re- plied, “Ki shong”—which is Corean for “the ballet.” Oh, th Coreans are not fools; they appreciate a good thing when | they see it After a few more questions relating to the social, political, moral and scientilic state of Corea had been put by your correspondent, and answered by His Luxurious Mandarin- ship, the interview terminated, and your cor- respondent left the apartment. As, accord- ing to Corean etiquette, departure from a Hizh Presence is a far more complicated pro- ceeding than entrance to the same, the de- scription may interest you. Your corres- pontent was instructed to ay full length upon the floor upon his stomach. That sig- Livs ** you are at liberty to walk over me.” en slowly draw his heels and his fin, tips together until he formed himself into the shape of a Moorish arch, That signifies that he 1s bowed down by the weight of hon- or bestowed on him. ‘Then quickly draw himself erect and place the extreme end of his left thumb to the point of his proboscis, the fingers extended in the shape of a fan. This signifies ‘‘ May you never be without one here or hereafter.” Then bend his head, extend his arms horizontally before him, and | back, in a series of quick jumps, to the | door; then kneel on the threshold, rap five | | is looked upon either a: | a fool, because he or she did not see or hear A TE) times on the floor with his forehead, and finally turn a back sumersault ont of the open doorwa To interview a Corean high dig- nitary, it is absolutely necessary that one should have previonsly served two years in a ircus, You will notice that Tok Che Ung Poo has not been interviewed to any great extent. ‘The elite of Washington are rapidl ing their way back to the city of magni distances. Some have gained health: some good spirits; some prospective husband some experience; some freckles. Some hi been on the European continent; some have been on the sands at Cape May; some on the hotel verandahs at Saratoga, and some on the burst. Some have feasted on the luxuries pire ided at Pari: New York and side ; some have filled up with the peren. nial pork and beans of hosp cousins. Some come back happy, some mis- erable, some lively, some tired-out, and all full of lies. Travelers don’t lie because they like to lie, but because they have to! Any one who ‘comes back from a journey and hasn’t seen or heard something a trifle more strange than the rest of the nomadic world, fool or a knave— something wonderful when he orshe had the cha knave, who never left his or her home at all, but lived all summer in the base- ment, with the shutters closed, and got his Gr hae traveling information’ out of guide books and Mark Twain’s ‘Innocents A- broad.” The Secretary of the Treasury to-day ad- dressed the following letter to the collector of customs at New York: “T transmit herewith, for your informa- tion, a letter dated the 12th inst., froma representative of an outraged communi: relative to the necessity, in view of the larming increase of dudedom in Great Brit- ain, for the strictest care, by customs” offi- cers, in examining into the mental condition of all lords, honorables, swells, snobs and damphools imported into the United States from Eng! They will be required to make a careful examination of all animals of the class referred to, and if the dis found in any of them, they will at once be uarantined until they can be sent back to the place whence they came.” ble country | | Tempted. Hen check may have lost the bright rose-tint of th, Her brow may be furrowed by care— But dearer to me than thy beauty or wealth j Is one lock of her dark raven hair. Think you, lips like the ruby and ringlets of gold, Witt ran hue, Can the treasure T hold Ina heart, warm, devoted and true? Ora form, fair as Venus, with Parian brow, | __ And ehiecks that the rose Bloom reflect Can make me forget for one moment my vow To honor, to love, and protect? Avaunt, beaut Sh: tempter! not even in thought 1 your coquetry force me to sin— Teare not how rough be the casket without, it holdeth the jewel within, piopora. | se | R-OLD, loquitur: ‘Oh, mamma, puldn’t take that dolly. What wonld people say of my doll if she wore a blonde wig? I shouldn’t dare compromise myself by taking her on the street with me.” | | A News item say A few drops of car- bole acid placed in a rattlesnake’s mouth will produce instant death.” , too true f | But who will “croak,” Le or the | acid bearer? ‘The grest and erying need in news items now-a-days is explicitness, A Lapy who was troubled with malaria, had her seal friend bring her a dog from Peru. id she had heard that Peruvian bark was the best medicine for chills. A PASHiON note says: “Gaiters with strps across the top are much worn.” A matter of fect note exys thet our best girl’s heels are in the height of fashion, according to the above pointer. Ir a man is over) about chips, is it the wood busine card talking in his sleep ise to infer that he is in e be | | Tne sea bather’s song: Break, break, break, on thy cold gray stones, O sea, | y y | Break, break, break, but don't you break over me. comicbooks.com