Judge — October 13, 1883 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. THE JUDGE. 824, 326 and 328 Pearl St., (Franklin Square.) NEW YORK. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. (Usrren Staves axp Caxada) Im ADVANCE, (One copy. one year, or &2 numbers, ‘One copy, atx months 10 copy, for 13 weeks, One copy. for 8 weeks, Address. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY, 204, 26 and 28 Peas NOTICE, + Contributors must put thelr valuation upon the articles they tend to us (subject to a price we may ourselves fix), oF otherwise they will be regarded a gratuitous Stamps should be Inclosed for retura postage, with name and address, If writers wish to regain thetr declined articleay ~CORRESPORDERTS. Novick THAT THEY x. WHERE stastrs LL RETCRS REJECTED MATTER AS ros. REFCDIATE ALL RESFOSSIRILITY FOR SUCH A PRICE 18 SOT AYPIXED BY TUE WRITER, CONTRIBCTIONS WILL BE REGARDED 48 GRATUITOUS, AXD 8O SUBSE: (CENT CLAM FOR REMCYERATION WILL RE ENTERTAINED. COMSTOCK AND THE GAMBLERS. Mr. good man—how good and how great prob- ably no one realizes but Mr. Anthony Com- sTHONY Coustock isa great and stock himself. He is ‘‘ down on” vice, with a bitter and undying downness, and being armed with all the powers of the virtuous law, he usually contrives to make it very warm for vice when he is brought into con- tact with it, He also generally contrives to make more or less of a fool of himself in the process. For vice, pursued by law, is a shy bird, and must be stalked with all the pre- caution that skilled hunters adopt in pursu- ing the wariest game, or else vice is very apt to turn up missing just as its adversary is ready to lay his hand on it, But quietude of proceedings is repugnant to the instincts of Mr. Anthony Comstock. His expansive soul yearns for publicity; his pleasant pas- tures are those that lie in the strong glare of newspaper notoriety. + He likes to move to sound of the drum; he prefers to hunt vice to the inspiriting music of a brass band, and to summon it to surrender with the blare of trumpets. He is anxious to overthrow gamb- ling by the same means by which the Israel- ites of old levelled the walls of Jericho: name- ly, by marching round them and shouting. But vice, as we remarked above, is a shy bird and easily scared. When it hears Mr. Comstock’s stentorian voice from afar it seeks some secluded nook in its native jungle, and there waits patiently till the trouble is over. So, as a hunter of vice, Mr. Comstock has not been cons cent raid on icuously successful. His re- Coney Island furnishes a case in point. ‘There was not a gambler in the three States of New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania who did not know that such a raid was contemplated. ‘They knew the da} the hour and the manner of the raid. Mr. Comstock’s love of publicity had had full sway and he marched to the attack with trumpets blowing and banners flying. But he accomplished nothing. The wary birds had flown; pool-selling continued, but it was where Mr. Comstock could not touch it. So he and his myrmidons returned empty handed, and the gamblers resumed their avocation unmolested, laughing in their sleeves at Mr. Anthony Comstock and his memorable “still hunt.” KELLY HIMSELF AGAIN. sure, there are those who complain that the wigwam has been ignored, and certainly twenty-four seats is not much when compared with the number allotted to the ‘* hay-loft and cheese-press” Democracy, but still twodozen is twodozen, and, manipulated by John Kelly, they will count. Probably the arrangement isas nearly a harmonious one as could have been secur- ed—as our esteemed contemporary, the Her- ald, (which THe JupGE really does esteem when it is content to let war maps alone) pertinently remarks, harmony may be defin- ed as acondition of things in which every- body gets something and nobody gets enough. At Buffalo the New York city quarrel was decided by the Convention giving the Coun- ty Democracy thirty-eight seats, Tammany twenty-four and Irving Hall twelve. But, despite his minority, John Kelly probably knows exactly what he wants to do and how he means to do it. After all, a Boss is a boss if he commands no more than a dozen, and Kelly’s two dozen, it is safe to predict, will make their presence felt at the Conven- tion tothe great glory and profit of their chief, John Kelly. BOSTON’S NEW DEPARTURE, For many years “The Hub” has been ree- ognized as the hot-bed of American culture— they call it culchaw there—and Boston liter- ature. Boston ‘critics and Boston artists have been worshipped as immaculate and in- fallible throughout the length and breadth of Massachusetts, and in a few cases their names have attained to an even wider celeb- rity. But latterly the “ Hub” has yearned for new worlds to conquer and has success- fully justified its claim to be regarded as the home of physical as well as of mental cul- ture. Bostonians have remembered that it was the sturdy arms of her citizens who un- loaded the tea ships so promptly and effect- ually, and precipitated that little difficulty with England which we still celebrate with much effusive patriotism and more or less consumption of malt and spirituous liquors on the fourth day of July. So Boston is going to renew her physical marvels, and among other notables, has given to an ex- pectant world John L. Sullivan, the pugi- list, Governor Butler, the—the—the marvel, and the champion base-ballists of America. The ‘culchaw ” of the ‘ Hub” is decidedly taking a practical turn. ABOUT CORNS. As a nation, Americans have their national diseases and infirmities—not unknown cer- tainly, elsewhere, but recognized as almost epidemic on our people. It is “well known that the United States furnishes a larger percen yspeptics and sufferers from headache than any other country. Phy- sicians have pointed to the immoderate use of ice-water and too heavy and indigestible early breakfasts, hurried lunches and late suppers as the cause, But has anyone called attention to the fact that, as a nation, we suffer more from corns than any other? The signs on our streets and the advertisements in our newspapers shows that the land is overrun with chiropodists, and where there is an effect there must bea cause. Chiropo- dists are the direct result of an extensive corn crop; and how extensive our corn crop is let anyone determine from a canvass of his own acquaintances. American ladies have pretty feet as a rule, and the prettier the foot, it is safe to say, the worse are the corns, Tight shoes have a great deal to an- swer for, and asa people we seem to take kindly to the torture of the boot. Fashion is certainly an exacting mistress, ge of Tris stated that Miss Clara Sands, with helpers, in a recent country trip through Japan, sold 350 copies of the Gospel in an hour anda half. In this country she couldn’t sell a copy and a half in 350 hours, but she might give them away to parties who would trade them to the old paper men for beer- money. Japan isn’t h Ir divitized yet. A New York millionaire admits that a man who has $2,000,000 has all the money that for any good or pleasure he can spend. That is all very well for him to say, but he evidently never visits Coney Island and gets dinner. Macore Battentine, of Norfolk, Va., while lighting her pipe for a smoke, recent. 1 t fire to her clothes and was burned to This is another awful example a- guinst the pernicious habit of smoking. Tue fate of his new play was enough to drive Oscar Wilde—back to England. He was Vera sad. A BALLoon that will not go up is not good for ascent. Tne near-sighted man can’t see well by a long sight. Apa may have been the first man to see snakes, but they were not in his boots. comicbooks.com