Judge — October 13, 1883 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| on several horse i} THE JUDGE. Eole. A REMINISCENCK. | George took Emma Jane to the last races of the season at Monmouth Park. It was the first race she had ever attended, and ob, how she Bat did George? After reading further particulars you may determine. i “Now, Emma Jane,” said he, placing her | in # seat on the grand stand, ‘sit here a little while, like a good girl, till I go and get a ‘straight tip.’ | “Oh, George, get a terra cotta curled one, if any, 60 | can’ wear it on my fall turban,” she coaxingly pleaded. “Oh, it isn’t a feather, Emma Jame; it’s a steer on the races,” said he. “A steer! why L thought only horses were oing to rac ® Fon thought right, ‘tip’and a ‘steer’ are but slang terms for advice how to bet,” said he. “Q—oh!” said she, surprisedly, at the same time unintentionally thrusting hor par- asol into a dude’s ribs next her. After George left her she fell into conver- sation about the races with an Irish couple sitting behind her, “ Whares the woman. “Oh, do you mean my George?” said Emma Jane “Sorra know Oi knows whose Jargo ho put Oi manes the he kip- pin iv hair on his gob that jist shkippt away bly gone?” inquired the | joyed it. | | A} ma Wy 1| | Wy HII 4 VN rum ye,” said the female Milesian “ He's gone to find out whut horse to bet on,” replicd Emma J. somewhat coolly, as she was offended at her Ge lovely moustache being referred to as a“ kippin iv | hair.” When George returned he handed her his checks to hold, stating he had bought pools but particularly on Eole. “What a pretty name,” said she. “Yes,” rep it’s Freddy Gel What? Lily Langtry’s Freddy | cried aloud. Yes,” replied George. “And is Freddy going to ride Eole?” asked she. | “Oh, no; he’s in George. © With Lil she Europe,” answered red impatiently; then rushed down to sce the horses a In a fit of momentary excitement the horses sts after ted and Eole was coming in ahead, Em jane jumped on her seat to see, accidentally thrust one foot into an adjacent man’s pocket and crushed some caches all over a policy on his mother-in- law’s life held therein, and then, to save | herself from falling, grasped another fat old man by the neck, yanking his paper collar clean off. Weeping between those two profane male individuals, after the race, George found his darling Emma Jane, “Where’s my checks, Emma? Gi: to me, quick. I’ve won on’ Eole, George, excitedly. e them cried bits of paper you told me to hold, why I chewed them up a minute ago.” | George turned white as a corpse and told | her to come along home; he hanged if | he’d wait to see another race; also adding it was a blamed wonder she hadn’t chewed somebody’s ear off there, too. ———————————— “and you know | “Checks,” she suid, coolly. ‘If it’s them me. New Boarpenr (at first meal)— Too weak to Avoustus E has brought suit in the | Superior Court of New York city, for di- vorce from his wife Emma. Thisis certainly | un August move if she isa bad egg, but he should be careful how he breaks the yolk or | it may take alimony he can shell out. “And now Many newspaper Says the newspapc Wilde bangs his hai subscribers hope to cireulated by the press, an item like unto the following “And now the small boy bangs Osc head with a brick, seven times ten, A PENNSYLVANIAN claims to have dis- covered a mechanical force which will mul- tiply power without fuel. This is what the Democrat t in 1884. They should se- | cure the patent-right. A LIVING brainless baby is now attracting considerable attention from the doctors. It would seem that one born with brains would be more of a curiosity at the present day, if we are to judge from the crop now growing into manhood. Some wise fellow has said that ‘‘of great riches there is no real use except it be in the distribution.” That’s what we think and we hope that the distribution will soon com- mence. Two base-ball clubs have been organized in Philadelphia by girls. Wonder if they | will slide under—like the boys do? | Emerson said: ¢ for a man of force.” Sullivan in a crowd. There is always room He had probably met — | | Down on a fellow—a youthful mustache. | z CROSSGRAIN CUT. Lanpiapy—It’s singular, but true, Mr. Crossgrain, that all my boarders remain with | dodge. ir yw uw 1 ni Tal lI leave, I guess, after the first week, Tuey tell of a south-side saloonist who runs his customers through a clothes-wring- cr, instead of feeding them on pretzels, — Wheeling Leader. But he doesn’t ** hang ‘em up ” afterward. That would be too much of a dry thing. Tue average girl is void of politeness. A boy will “sit up” to her and she in return will “sit on him.” How c ! Indeed, the course of truelove has many high sens to surmount and many boot toes to Thus will it always be. Fiy time—when you are trying to sleep before breakfast. Tere is not always honor among thieves. A society reporter is something of a pirate himself; yet he frequently attacks private cars. _ A FRIEND in knead—Skyfungle’s Baking Powder. A cLorues press—hugging a padded wo- man. A PENCE-MAKER may be a very quiet spo- ken man, but he does a great deal of railing. A MAN don’t have to live long in Paris to learn the road to Rouen. 3 A POPULAR error—that newspapers are run “for instance,” “Tire belle of the ball” apparently has some reference to minnie-ball. Better late than—left. comicbooks.com