Judge — September 29, 1883 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

We arrived at Lenox night before last. I was pretty well fagged out when we reached the station, but aunt Penelope's carriage and horses were there awaiting me, and we soon chirled up to the house, where every prepar- ation had been made for our comfort. Asa matter of course the baby was the lion of the occasion, but I came in for a goodly share of attention. Aunt said she had no idea I was so pale and delicate, and after asking mam- ma for the hundredth time how she could ever let a child like me get married, she ad- ded that the fresh mountain air would do me a world of good, and that she should not let me go home until the roses came back to my cheeks. Our rooms are just too lovely for anything, and I feel as if I could stay here foreve The whole house is exquisitely fitted up, has beautiful open grates, and there are cheerful wood fires in many of the rooms. The view from our windows nd overlooks the grounds, which are as fine as any in Berk- shire county, and that is saying a good dea There are flowers and fountains, and several beautiful statues—and thereby hangs a tale. As I have before remarked, Aunt Pen has no daughters, but she has two grown-up sons, and they are just about as fond of poker, bil- liards and wine as is the distinguished part- ner of all my joys and sorrows. The first night we arrived they started off with Herac- litus for the billiard-room, but they were not up late, and I was quite contented. Some- how or other I am timid about sleeping here alone at night. ‘The grounds are so large, and the shrubbery so dense that Iam always afraid that burglars are lurking about the premises ready to pounce in upon us at any moment, and I always insist on Heraclitus keeping a loaded pistol within reach, though goodness knows / wouldn't touch it for a million dollars, ‘The next night they had a poker party, and it must have been at least two o’clock in the morning before they broke up. In the meantime I had worked myself into a state of nervous excitement that was bordering on distraction, and when Heraclitus finally ca to bed, I was ready to go off into hysterics. Usually he is all syinpathy on such occasions, but this time he was too sleepy or too fuallof wine to pay much attention, and almost as soon as his head touched the pillow he was sound asleep and breathing heavily. Accord- ing to my usual custom I proceeded to exam- ine his pockets, to find out what was his share of the evening’s spoils. Either they played for small amounts, or else he didn’t make much; for though there wasa roll of bills in his ‘ket, they were not large ones. I abstracted what I considered my share, and was about putting them ina safe place, when I happened to look out of the window, and THE JUDGE. | there I saw a sight that made my blood turn ‘cold. ‘There was a moon, but the night was | very cloudy, so the light outside was just a- bout bright the darkness visible. ald plainly distin- guish a figure close by the fountain. 1 didn’t wait to see anything n but in my fright I dropped the bills on the carpet, and sprang into bed with such alacrity t partly aroused my ‘silent partne clutched him frantically, and whispered in smothered tones that there was a man out- side in the grcunds, Just then we heard a rustling of the leaves, and Heraclitus, with- j out more ado, grasped his pistol and ed tiously approached the window. He m me get out of bed again and show him where the figure was. Then he took aim, but I saw his hand was not steady, and I said, Oh you're too tipsy to shoot—don’t do it! But before I had fairly time to put my fingers in my ears, hang went the pistol, followed b crash’ outside that certainly did not resemble the ‘dull thud” of the fall of a human being. I grabbed the baby from her crib and jumped back into bed with her, cover- ing up my head. But I could hear door: opening and shutting, cries Y and a general hurrying and skurrying to and fro. Heraclitus hastily put on a part of his elothes and left the room, and presently 1 could distinguish the voices of all the male members of the family as they were explor- ing the garden below. All of a sudden there was a ‘sound of revelry by night,” and such an explosion of laughter as 1 nx fore, and soon the boys 1 He peared in my room, where they found mother and aunt Penelope, who had ‘come in to see | if T was frightened quite to death. All were | laughing fit to kill themselves, except Her- aclitus, and when they said he had shot off the head of the lovely marble statue of Di- ana that stood near the fonnta I didn’t wonder that he failed to see the joke. Aunt Pen behaved beautifully, and when I li- tus, as usual, began t it was all my fault, sh * No matter whose fault it is, I'd rather lose all the statues in nds than to have little Penelope, frightened or worried into another fit of sickness. After the house had quieted down I too oceasion to inform my lege lord that [ ex- pected he would blame me if he could. It was like a man, when he was so tight he couldn’t tell a marl ue from a tramp, to say it was his wife's fault. When Adam tried to sneak out of his trouble by saying it Eve's fault his eating the married men an example they had diligently followed ever since. Then I remembered the bills 'd dropped, and I had to craw) around on my hands and knees to find them. — Her- aclitis w to know what I was doing, but before I had time to frame asuitable an- swer he was again breathing heavily, and when I crept into bed, for the fourth time that night, he was sleeping as peacefully as if his unseemly conduct had done no harm. The next morning he was quite jocose over what he called the “ accident.” hock and fright had done me no good, but he doc not seem to consider that he may have killed two birds with one stone; that when the bul- let from his pistol ruined aunt Pen’s lovely ue, it also came near shattering the con- stitution of his devoted wife, PENELOPE PENNYPEATHER, ‘THere is a shoemaker in Charlestown, Meas., named Gum. Now we know where all the gum shoes come from. Breecues of trust—Loaned pantaloons. SS NS comicbooks.com