Judge — September 29, 1883 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. oper | Bannen—J hope, sir, the shave has been satisfactory. Did my razor take hold well? | OLD Stupprerace—Take hold well, you butcher! “Why, it wouldn't let go! | Washington Gossip. unprepared to hear that he had for one mo- i . — ment been thonght of as a possible candi- | REQNIONR ETO LIAE date, that you might have knocked him Wasinxeros, D.C., Serr. 6th, | down with the efluvia from the Tewksbury Tne publi cs of the Almshe He a candidate? Well, he rae pawl ramos of the gen- | should smile, he should snigger, he should Wr last iste, has murmur, he should palpitate to remark— | been the means of bringing your correspond- ¢ettainly not; by no manner of means, dear git anumber of letters from other individ: If such an id abroad ‘he is nals who are also actuated by a patriotic raid that the public will be tempted to b desire to refuse the high honor. General | lieve that he merely raised his reform br Wm. Mahone wishes it to be distinctly un- | in Massachusetts for the purpose of bein derstood that under no circumstances will he | Wafted on it into the presidential cha Z ition; if it is thrust. upon | Being unversed in the science of polities, he him, he will be compelled to firmly but re- S"Pposes that were he nominated he would apeeetally ‘eral Rozenerans, in| De obliged to accept, but he trusts no one oelini sour correspondent to believes he is anions to be compelled to do say that his declination arises out of no 8. Your correspondent has also received desire to frivolously thwart the will of the , letters indignantly denying the presence of | American nation, but to oblige his wife's the president I bee mt ponnes from the mother, with whom the air of Washington Mayor of Kalamazoo, Pat (ilmon ; ee, Billy Florence writes vour , Harris, Brooks & Dickson, Sitti I Nt to savthat the omission off: Barnum, Capt. John Hussey, Eli Per- || ids name in the list sent yon must be the | Kins and Hon. Wm, F. Cody, Itis rumored that the Missouri delegation will be in- structed to pr t the name of its vindi- Prank Ja cted to with character- ied | cated hero, cancel the dat istic modesty, that, although he is sati he would makt a better President by ad. s.| Your correspondent was honored with a | than half the professional politicians in the | card of invitation to attend a meeting of the | country, he is compelled to decline, as he is | Washington Colored ol of Phi his repertoire pay nd Esthetic Elocutionary Brother- ues, ‘That’s | hood.” The object of the society is to pro- you can take the Governor’s| vide the neglected colored man with words Ifor it. One Benjamin F. Butler writes | of four syllables and mystic meaning at to say that he was so astonished, so totally | original cost. On the evening of your cor- | fanlt of his mans a positive fact we respondent's visit, the chair was occupied by Professor Dormouse Phe Bey D., K., and papers were he This,” by Mrs. atarch Grigg Thusness of the That,” by Skedunk rand, Esq., the celebrated electric Squash Bayou, La.; “The Herene: by Blueblood Concord. Quin ampion wsthete of S Mass. ; Whereness of the Was,” by Miss’ Purity Crusoe, of Thompson street, Central Africa; “The Wasness of the Is-to-be,” by Little: more Ruskin Piepink, the original colored dude, and the “The Tooness of the Much,” by the chairman. ing address made by Past Master Dodo Qua er, M plendid piec h-work-cover- lid oratory, and deserves the honor of being gyrations through the e-to-fore, embodying fleshly, and too utterly utte f pre- Raphelite coruscations of penultimate abso- lutism, form, by their abstract glittering of thetic generalities, a bean-pole of hopeful expectancy, by through which th tense soul can warble hallelujahs in praise of the was-to-what in its methodical strug- gle with the perni as doctrinal heresies of the newness-of-the-old; and the turgid and all too-inexpressibly rhapsodical corellative- ness of individual idiosynerasy, must descend into the loathy, wirly whirlpool of unidenti- tied never-was, and there writhe in slimy unconsciousness of the bright, ever-beaming glory of the used. tied that there is a bright future—if the principles of the association are faithfully and intelli- gently promulgated—for our colored brother —in the penitentiary, your correspondent returned home and killed a very valuable black-and-tan terrier by in ing him to smell the clothes pondent had worn at the meeting. The following communication from the Utah Commission, just received at the In- terior Department, will explain itself: “Ton. H. M. ‘Feller, Secretary. Tam happy to inform you that the working of the ‘Edmunds Act” has been most i | factory to the Mormons. It was passed, as you are doubtless aware, for the purpose of disfranchising polygamists. In such d did the Mormons stand of violating its pr visions that not a single polygamist attempted to vote. E he came to deposit his ballot, was asked: ‘Are you a polyg- and not one out of the many thou- sands who voted answered in the affirmative, aclear proof that the polygamists respected the law of the Federal Government too well | toattempt to break it, or the penalties at- tached to violation had frightened them into omy. I have reason to believe that my, n institution, has had its day in Utah, and that the people of that section are waking up to the Mev that it is a sinfal and expensive system, That is the opinion | expressed by several prominent Mormons | with whom I have conversed; they, at one | time, Kept all the way from two to ten wives openly, here in Salt’ Lake ; the richer | men haying separate establishments for e nd society recognized them all as the legal helpmates of the one man. But now, real- izing the enormity of the crime they were committing, they retain their first wife only —in the city. Very respectfull dient servant, Alexander Ram: r of the Commis comicbooks.com