Judge — September 22, 1883 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. A Rocky Mountain Eagle. “Do you want an item?” were the words uttered by a homely son of Adam, or some other foreigner, as he dropped down on a Brussels divan in my office the other day. “Yes, indeed,” I remarked, “1 am al- id the stranger, nd some paper, and I'll write it on the spot, and I'll write it as I Here is his item: «There was a dance at the South Town Hall the other night. It was not a swell fair by any means, but it was on the whole a Hy pleasant affair. About ‘iron was at fever heat,’ ‘a classic expression, in careered a hun- erous specimen of humanity. as long, brutal and ugly, and consider- y under the influence of the ardent. He was loud and boisterous, and was fairly wither ering and decay fight.. He was ‘spiling® for a hand-to- He thirsted for gore, and wanted to eat some one’s blood raw, just forthe fun of the thing. Jump- ing’ ap, danci . and flopping his long arms wild]. ir, he yelled out: » Pm a rocky mountain just from ; I'm the king of bird a howler, wild, wooly, a yard wide, | could you be so nd warranted not to | or run d wn at the heel, or take | Whoop, la! I son of ast: want to fight some led banner. Come! one two, three, or half a dozen of you. Just tread on my t sellish, Give me a chance to amuse mysel If, and whet up ry appetite for a good break Whoop, al? During this Fourth of July display of clo- quence timid women rushed to the other end of the room, brave men went to keep them company, and the police heard a peculiar nd started to pos whi at it w: All of a sudden the rocky mou sprang up, and came down like kilns, and flinging his arms, “Whoop, la! won't somebody accommodate me? Can it be possible that I have stur bled in on a sewing bee or a woman's rights’ convention? Gr But ho had scarcely pronounced the “1” when @ little loconiotive engineer with a blue shirt and thick neck, walked up to him and said: “*Look a-here, Mr. Rocky Mountain gle, mountain howit whatever too much of your flu lapping sw a ing about here. You want to pull out the throttle and move out, the track is clear!” The little fellow didn’t quiver. He looked Jd as a wer ind as tranqui. as one of Raphael’s 800-years old cherubs, The Eagle sheeringly and scornfully look- ed down on the little fellow, and survey- ing him from head to foot, snceringly re- marked: “Young man in ed veral bri yelled ow does your ma have any idea you are out? Get up here and ride yourself to sleep.” At the same time snap- ping his thumb and fingers together. The engineer delibera ately began laying off his coat. The Eagle prepared to swallow Mm whole. . . . The stars represent tre story. Tho next morning the fellow rolled over in his bed and moaned: ‘Yes, yes; I'm a Rocky Mountain Eagle, I am; but my wings . . or foxas ranger, or | * | well in mourning costume.—Detroit Free are clipped, ‘and my tail feathers have: tean pulled out.” he attending physician n save his e: but his no natural again!—Curl Pre ys he thinks he will never look nati pork merchant’s mansion a larg pany was assembled. All the luxury that wealth could command contributed to the gratification of the Upon tin divan the pork merchant's ‘ous in silks, and pearls, and diamonds, Presently her guests, word to you.” panied her parent | low, e old man, «there's | acouple of Cleveland dudes in the dtni room having a hot talk about Copernicn was afraid they were k me to de- | cide the point, so 1 made excuse to get out p to you. tell me, who we “Oh, and accoi n of a bay wi going to ow, Copern fath exclaimed P; tine, “ ‘how | who Copernicus v in, on the st, | America the following | October.” The vencrable purveyor of swine gazed at his daughter a moment and nid, with a su, n of sadness in his antine, 1 you I might have been a United States Ser from Oh Brooklyn Eag Two things in life are absolutely certain, ntingent, alone us. All that » ready for, and ac- eyebrows; but this o shadow falls athwart lays’ journey ahead, and ut its end without clamor, of us—to th ay, “Tt is_ impossible count inevitable surprises “But Yet a Womar good idea to let the $10-a- tors take the first trip through the Niagara rapids on the new Maid of the Mist with Oscar Wilde as pilot and Ben Butler —Phila, News. SAKE twelve fect long wrapped itself around the fore and hind wheels of a Nevada stage the other day, blocking progress until killed.” ‘The cork was then put in the bot- tle and the party proceeded.—Martford Post. which there is nothing ¢ he power to surpri 1s problematical we cept without lifting o figure of sorrow our path a few death, who wait he is sure cannot be! upon the t us.—Hardy We Eve must have had a good deal more time in which to do ‘her housework than the modern woman, She had no lo to be running to every half hour.— ville Journal. Ix France, women live an ayerag teen years longer than nay UE should be. It is only a woman who looks Press. A Pittsburg man tried to pawn his wife’s wig, false tecth, artificial limband glass eye; but 'then a man who woman like that will do anything.—Phila. News, Wooncocks are plenty in beer kegs.—Ma- rathon Herald. “Towemy to ITcalth and Beauly to the CUTICURA REMEDIES.” Bow BURING tay ie, Muvultiating serotuta Sait Te Dee Sold everywhere. Pr cents " tbh. Turren tau asp Cnmcat © Take Notice. ROR Ma stampa sn rtesant PTH shattane eqatige 1 Nasaay st. susan Ta OR.» BETORE — AND — “AF TER Electric Appliances are sent on 30 Days! Trial, ue MEN ONLY, YOUNS OR OLD, 4 frore Nexvoos vourarc BELT CO MARSHALL, Mich. ed EDY CO. GOLD MEDAL, PARIS, 1878. BAKER'S Breakfast Cocoa, Warranted absolutely pure y well as for persons ta Lealth, Sold by Grocers everywhere. W, BAKER & CO., Dorchester, Mass. THE MOST POPULAR IN USE. PENS: ding on 048,14 100,08 16. Fon : ESTeRBnoOK STEEL PEN CO. Wasa casea fe so sarOte ten Fat. comicbooks.com