Judge, 1883-09-08 · page 15 of 16
Judge — September 8, 1883 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page's main satirical piece is a short story titled "Stretchy Religion," which mocks the flexibility of religious principles in frontier America. **The Satire:** An elderly couple seeks passage on a riverboat. The captain swears profusely and behaves roughly, yet claims no religious affiliation. When the wife expresses concern, the husband argues that "religions out here in Michigan are kind o' stretchy"—meaning people bend their faith to suit circumstances. He reasons the captain *looks* dependable in a storm, so his lack of piety doesn't matter. The husband even suggests they'll tolerate the captain's worse behavior during their trip. **The Point:** Judge ridicules how practical necessity overrides moral conviction, especially in the West. Frontier communities allegedly adjusted religious standards pragmatically—you don't demand a pious captain if he's competent. The satire suggests this "stretchy" faith is hypocritical accommodation masquerading as tolerance. The rest of the page contains typical Judge advertisements (pianos, jewelry, breakfast cocoa) and brief satirical quips about other topics (Tilden's health, animals' reach).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
with FIVE DOLLARS YOU CAN HUY A WHOLE Imperial Austrian Vienna — City GOVER} Vl BOND way, cor. Fulton st. ISL re mot tobecompared with ‘conlct with any of tho — FIRST CLASS Grand Square és Upright PIANOS. Warerooms ; 15 B. 14th St. & 129 B 125th St. PERFECTION MAGIC LANTERNS AND VIEWS ON AL STEREOPTICON LIBITIONS TO ORDER-TERMS MODERATE, On Lawns, in Parlors, Churches, Fairs, etc. Electric Stereopticon Adres Co., JAKOB & HART, Pro} ar Buy the Best. ata Pen ever ea 1s the LAN. {il kinds of Fountatg apd Stytorraphie Hens rtaile ed'and exchange pene See 57 taal AGENTS CAN NOW GRASP A FORTUN. E. Out"t worth @10 free. Address F.G. RIDEOUT & CO., 10 Barclay tN. eee GOLD MEDAL, PARIS, 1878, BAKER'S Breakfast. Cocca. War anted absolutely pura Cocoa, from which the excess of Oil baa boer removed. T.has tAree a mixed nourishing, nz eaatly digested, and apted for Invaiida aa well as for persons tn health, Sold by Grocers W, BAKER & CO., Dore ester, Mass. A CARD heer | the around t | to us, mebhe Provid | pa saight-l THE JUDGE. Stretchy Religion. AN old couple. un and wife, were doing the wharves hunting for Uscils t down and jy down the street until The couple steamer, were busy with the walked up to him, a #C you have t he promptly growled. hi other with ed the offic r son ’ 1, or expect this boat to heads up the lake, [won't you want? Out with it, I'm “if you've me to sign a petiti carry a lot of ¢ stand it. Man and wife retired to ter getting ten feet away, id: “Henry, he’s not a religions n “Well, I dunno.” “But he swears like “Yes, Maria: but the woman a pirate.” you see this is out West. We don’t sw and belong to the church too, up in New Hampshire, but they may do differently out here. He swears, but he Tooks like a man to depend upon in | a storm.” “ Shan’t we look for another?” x I guess the religions are kind 0° stretchy, and were alle aweartngi-on alearaboats Kid he de} We'll go by this boat, and if he d any worse than he did 11 let him equeeze through on the trip, and sink him when he comes down,”—Detroit Free Fress. A LitTLe daughter of severely orthodox nts had an idea that heaven was a pretty . and the other as atcosted her mother when T dic p day afternoons to pl —Boston Times, AN exchange speaks of a 1 but one step removed from an He'd better make it three four. ‘The animal has a long reach backward.—Malden (Mass, News. an who * is Tur ; importanc of all this talk about Mr. ‘Tilden’s health turns on the question whe- ther he will have strength enough to decline a nomination next year.—Pittshurg Dis- patch. oss's meRovac t inet BELFAST IRELAND MANUFACTORY onsult, and | Assoctation, 320 Brestway, BT To. SELLEW, Manufacturer of DESK No. 111 Fulton St., New York. FINE CYLINDER AND ROLL DESKS. J. BACHMAN & SON DIAMONDS AND FINE JEW 3 Maiden Lane, N, Y. leatache and Nearelgia Cure ever Tails. nail on recetpt of 3 Baltimore ad Lisht Stas “attimore, m4, Hom 79 SEY AF HRD I bo Read's 3-minute Wott, READ, MINING the greatest accuracy with durability ATION CUSHiO: AMl far. J nlshed with the celebrated COMMT sXe rabted fo > ted pamphlets free. addres VOLTAIC BELT CO., Marshall, Alich. “AWHOLESOME CURATIVE. NEEDED IN Ever y Family. AN ELEGANT AND RE- FRESHING FRUIT LOZ. 'ENGE for Constipation, Cilfoasness, Headache, ‘Tndisposition, &o. TOPILL Columbi: Is what every ted po THE POPE MANUFACTURING (0. comicbooks.com