Judge, 1883-09-01 · page 14 of 16
Judge — September 1, 1883 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from **Judge** (a 19th-century satirical weekly) contains three main elements: ## "Hamlet Revived" A parody rewriting Shakespeare's "To be or not to be" soliloquy as poker/gambling slang—replacing existential questions with card-game terminology ("todraw," "skinning," "bluffing"). The satire mocks both pretentious Shakespeare quotations and gambling culture among the educated classes. ## "Not a Good Conductor" A brief social satire about a streetcar conductor nicknamed "Milk" who takes offense when a passenger greets him familiarly with "Hello, Milk." The joke illustrates class tensions: working-class employees resenting informal address from passengers, suggesting anxieties about social hierarchy and dignity in urban transit settings. ## Advertisements The remainder comprises period product ads (Cuticura remedies, Ely's Cream Balm for catarrh, candy) and an announcement of Boston's Foreign Exhibition of Arts and Manufactures (1883). The page reflects typical Judge content: literary parody, urban social observation, and commercial advertising targeting middle-class readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
| | | | i] i | f | t | THE JUDGE. | Hamlet Revived. Mcrpny heard cows in his orchard the T owe my other night, and slipping out the back way, F | Todrav, or not todraw, that is the question, {iypeared suddenly near the front bee Restoration | Whether ‘tis safer in the player to take "! : lo Health | ‘The awful risk of skinning for a str a fig i 4 vast . | Or, standing pat, to raise ‘em all the limit, eure ne the and Beauly | And thas, by bluffing, to get it, to draw—to lake ant” earectned lo the | skins ster M he |) Nomore—and by that skin to get a full pier Slirenday Bho} CUTICURA | Ortwo y ° fi in” kings by the collar, and refused to | That luck is heir te ummation tat yn doin’, yelled. the old Devontly to be wishe sto skin: man, » know them ‘cows has be | hance to. bust—aye, there's the rab in here three or fone times? Oh, ng raptions, chine For || For in that draw of three, what cards may was the answer, “but this was only a calf. | come The old man was pacified, but Adolphus, When we have shuffled off the uneertain | who was standing ont in the road waiting a the great Skin Cure, natanty allay Itching and tn pack, ay os developments, wasn't; and Miranda will Ho, Sengy ine sate anc Scalp, benln Uleere and Sores, | Must give us pause. “There's the respect never understand the coldness that has Tolle Reyes Which makes calamity of a bob-tailed flush, sprang up between them.—Peek’s Sun. sGicacy For who would bear the overwhelming blind, T Intent w the little boys, The reckless straddle, the wait on the ed insolence of pat hands, and the lifts t patient merit of the bluffer takes, summer je errwhere. Pri Ae Rewuiven BL Porree Da Go bathing in every stream they tind, find, find: When he himself might be mach better off Returni ne they feel $10.00 REWARD By simply ng? Who would trays up While twisting like an eel sia babe He hold, The little shingle pattering behind, “hind, “hind. nosexcred 3 line And go out on a small progressive raise, Somercilte Journal, The undi A Positive Cure is may Sach hands must bow, puz ELY'S And makes ws rather keep the chips we have, | CREAM Baba, 2 Than be curi about hands we know not ‘To any sufering with Cetarrd or Breachitis who earnestly desire relief, | cam forntsh a means of Per- Positive Core. A Home Treatment. Ko charge for consultation by mall. Valuable Treatise Free. Certificates {rem Doctors, Lawyers, Ministers, Busipess-mea. Address Rev. 1. P. CHILDS, Troy, Odio. Rose Cold, jf H ofa four-heart flush CAaTARR' rk and cursed club, And thus tl ative hi Is sicklied with some And speculators in a jac! card their inter Not a Good Conductor. pal [ the cable cars in AYRE this city h. r ion tosmile quite - = audibly when the conductor was approached CANDY by some ac who addressed him with “Hello, Milk. Ashes a The eyebrows of the aforesaid nickle- gatherer would contract, and his thirty-stone bosom would heave with indignation while | his lips would mutter something that no one | with an ear-trampet might construe inte a | horrible oath. | Mr. Milk was not a mild-mannered m || nor was he gentle as the summer sun whe || it is breathing over sleepi | cross and peevish, cold | | Very mi | S.F- Havwarp, Gen tAgent ‘407 Broadway N.Y.City alleys. He was stern, and his companions were never permitted to ap- = SS = proach even the outer circle of the whirl- Bonton, Mam The Forelgn Exhibition of Products, Arts and Manufactures, Opens in Sept, || pool of his frame, and on account of his auerie ees acca. | ay ae ent he pene now toall.on ©. B, NORTON NATH'L J. BRADLEE FREDERIC W. LINCOLN. | || old lady, a neighbor of the family of the | | conductor, heard him addressed as “* Mr. N EXHIBIT 5, Milk,” and she questioned her frie rid con : { cerning it, and was informed that it was Opens in Boston Sept. Sd, 1883. | only a nick- iven him on account of ‘in the U ited States the abow ment is of great importance, from | ral course of t far as can be indicated at present, | | why | ll parties arra nt to reach Boston at the end of their several trips. i] y The prom of at least HALF A MILLION, | | | to him, even and our re ell to bear in mind that there will 1 wer be such an opportunity offered again to yA acy of a sour disposition,” “Well,” was the reply, “because he is | not a good conductor. “But what has milk to do with that?” asked the old lady. Well, madame, don’t you know that milk is not a good turns sour in a thunder st IREL. ITALY. Belgium and Germany stand pre inent, and special attention i: invited Paintings and Statuary ¢ on. One of the Rajahs—Taj he curious musical instruments used in the East’ Indies, | TLAND. Suow me the way up toa higher plane Wheeler, the Western poete: to the ma; Certainly, Ella; just step up into the eleva. | cut tor, and tell the conductor to let you out at nfs will be ente Visi Band, Tyrol jon by the music of the Hungarian Band. the Canadian | an Quartet chestra, and other foreig: the top floor, Plenty of room up here.— | “The Aumittance Fee will be Fifty Cents, aud there can be n0 question Dut that visitors will feel so} Y. Commercial. | horoughly satisfied with their experience that they will repeat their visit many times. | comicbooks.com