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Judge, 1883-06-16 · page 11 of 16

Judge — June 16, 1883 — page 11: what you’re looking at

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Judge — June 16, 1883 — page 11: Judge, 1883-06-16

What you’re looking at

This page contains three separate satirical pieces typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"Mr. Vereker's Pug Dog"** (main story): A lengthy satirical narrative mocking upper-class obsession with pets. Mr. Vereker values his pug so highly that when boarding a steamer to the seaside, he leaves his *baby* behind but brings the dog. The satire ridicules wealthy families' misplaced priorities and sentimental attachment to animals over human children—a pointed critique of Victorian-era affectation among the privileged classes. **"An Inverted Suicide"** (illustration): The accompanying sketch shows a man attempting suicide by jumping from a bridge, only to be saved by his dog. The irony (inversion) is obvious. **"An Embryo Paragrapher"** (brief dialogue): A young man arrives late to work; his supervisor suggests his talents are wasted and suited for newspaper writing instead—a dismissive insult implying mediocrity. These pieces represent Judge's characteristic social satire targeting wealth, pretension, and class foibles of the Gilded Age.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MR. VEREKER'S PUG DOG. Mn. Vereker determined to take his family to the seaside this summer v earlier " Ie ar that there was no use in waiting GIL von y the Ways Come to more ad with the summer f you arrive very to stay ri Of course Whether ion for Mr. Ver- it of tow tills you keep ¥ after « have pro! Another 1 that | nd to make an early ex at the youngest scion in fact, only af nied advisable rer and child out of the city Vercker, tender fath sought a haven wl he Wife of his boss wnehes fur from found it shberhood of very young ind 1 ri Was hers of Mr. he baby above Among the nes Vereker’s family referred to) w animal of its kind, and unmistakably genuine, “This pu presente sthe family by anc emied wid it was valued as the apple of the So. of wh Vercker | went the pug was bound to go. te the momen has ar rived, and the whole family mother offspring, nurse-girl and) pay © col: edon the dock, while the little steamer is te bear them their stination puffs and snorts, impatient Un- tunately the steamer dis the little dog’s nerves: he w he probably had never see or if he had, his mu embark. AIL the family w Vercker was attempting tof baby (which at such a crisis he would tre rhis but his own) in hi sing back, and indan At length a ked were not tely declined to nobeard: Mr, low with the sant on tone on athizing bystand 1 strin, aboard. athim as if he would hav ite him. Mis pug. a trow little brute. However, he accepted the offer mild do under the « stances rred the sympathizer and carried the py phuak Once on hoard the pug of having a fit. He yelped and foamed and od. Mr. Vereker w In vain he endeavored. to All the united blandishments of th od to have no effect on him. F: needful ministrations to his sufferin; ite Mr. Vereker wa Vby « the wharf 1 babby One horror fell upon the whole family. Th boat was fully twenty feet from the slip and like family om the favor: it from are t this come back, will ver, and glance, and then the diumbness o! THE JUDGE. AN INV pureture | order tour vident like the abare rapidly gathering headway. She had soon as Mr. Vercker had © deep waters of the North River were between the Verekers and their off- tus draw a veil over the harrowing pic- ture—over the mother's grief and the wild- ness of despair whieh possessed the unhappy Vercker, His first impulse was to. throw the pug overboard, bu His next was Kt the case, and that good-n back and embark that if that baby evel 1s no doubt he will, the heirs shall have sinecures and postm This was mi i titnde on Vereker’s pa not a kind one: +A man that would leave his babby be- hind for a mg og ought to be dragged astarn of the f Wt by belts baked ina alosor is one thing in this world whieh is th better done for being done in a slow manner. ly Boxtne oming very popular—in fact it alway It is being boxed which has hitherto been lacking in publie favor. id Bridget He of old a grate thing, arted the fire with a winorder fron the Bridge, rh by way of the Bridge, Entry Clerk,” k We wank warn the contemplating a de v the steamboats, in AN EMBRYO PARAGRAPHER. ain this morning, Mr. rhed the head) book- + You are late a eeper Loan which | ean man pertly, Phat cannot prove Pray, how se Why, ne matter what hour it is must necessarily be in time, See? Hl re Very y Clerk, very goo but Pant afraid your talents are wasted he IL find more e's ina newspaper office. shier will se ‘or your time,” You % Five: new boot factories are being built at Brockton, Ma is is the kind of im- provement t] If the enterpris- ay. they will soon city whe y Ata recent sle in La ington’s autograph was s« » very well for a de country Vanderbilt's ante hundred times as much mon .butint ph will draw . Such is fame. * Crossing the Bri as the lady said, y scored her recalcitrant: husband's Ove two tons of hai in this country. “Stall daughter,” as the poet says. my