Judge — April 28, 1883 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. A SCENE IN Grs Dawrnoon.—" - BUNNELL ve! [knew I'd make A DARKEY’S WINGED VISION. | Is Coonville lib'd a darkey, war his name; down in Texas, Dis foxy coon he eame. cshins allus good — ‘ink hin 1, ye nebber could but a saint, wa’ He allus up to mee Lon der hymns an’ pray’rs, His mouf eyeballs rollin’ Aroun’ with sich high airs, | Tswow, ye'd tink de Lawd had App'inted dat yer Clem | To stece for all de n abs, save dar souls for dem, He tole us he'd a vishin ob Wren bi i Mo | In co'se us coons Ix We nebber Vought he'd lie Ob dat yer bless'd vi Up in de Lawal's bh One Sunday night When dar wasn't « Our good ole Deakin Hopkins He cotched dat pi'us A-hookin’ fum his ba’ny Poultry an’ uddab tin n we foun’ out Clem’s vishin War hens'—n i ny moon, ADELE BREAKUP AS AN ACTOR. Matitpa Breaker is studying for the but as she wishes to surprise her many frie nds by suddenly dashing out on the the atic star, she keeps She has had a new play written expressly for her by w York r porter—the only one in the whole professi who was guilty of writing a play. | The pl is intensely tragi The Duke of something or other loves the Countess of somewhere or another, and to secure her love, he | mu ters the lady and hands in the checks the grand scene of the no one to rehi tilda asked her father to ter of the Duke, and give Breakup is not au fait perform the act of émptyin manner to bring down the hot actor he is not worth a cent. However, he brushed up a bit, and one evening last week rone of those warm nights when fire was | very shi ady about it. hooner in a | . but as an | life’s blood | tiv | uncomfortable, and it was necessary to slight- | ly raise the windows,—Breakup and his daughter Matilda started in, making the life. With this keen blade thy heart's )i will be poured out as a libation to. the of God ‘Then she heard Matilda, in a pleadi voice, ery out: *Crucl man; would you let out my young Without waiting to hear more, Mrs. ~ kins started across the street- and imparted the cheerful information to the that Breakup was about to murder his ter. In just about the shaking of the n of aspring lamb, there was a cro persons in front of the Br t “Let go your h 's Vo 1d!” was heard in Matil- a remove thy ard hand from my throat!” And then there came est t cow- in Breakup’s deep- doom is sealed! Prepare for instant death! The startled auditors were further rews ed by hearing a shrill scream from Matilda “Welp! help! What, ho! friendly arm to interpo: And there was another yell. “Some one ought to go for a policeman,” exclaimed young Daffytow. “ ‘The old man’s killing her;” and as another ear-splitting seream resounded from the parlor, he ran to the corner, and rousi off therty from a gentle nap, he informed him that there:sene a frat-clasa auinder beng perpe trated at Breakup The p rush for the house, and arrived there just as Johanna, the servant girl, came out of the basement door to see what the rumpus out- side was about. He rushed into the base- ment and up to the floor just as another scream was heard. He threw open the pi lor door and stood on the threshold horritic ‘The ordinarily peaceful Breakup stood in the centre of the room with his left hand coiled around Matilda’s tresses, while in the other he flourished a large bread-knife. ow, then, to complete my work,” ed Breakup, “this to thy heart!” Officer O’Flatherty didn’t wait to hear yell- more. Te madeadash for Breakup, and the next instant the old man was engaged in the astronomical amusement of seeing stars. * Rub-a-dub ” Breakup’s head. Matilda joine ** murder!” als After having been clubbed into a state of almost absolute unconsciousness, Breakup was dragged to the street by the officer, and thence to the station-house, the crowd yell- ing lustily, “Hang the old villain! Lynch the murderer of his child!” At the station-house all was explained to the satisfaction of the sergeant, and Breakup went home to bed, and sent for a surgeon. He thinks he will be able to be out again in about two weeks, but he has vowed a solemn vow never to try theatricals again. GIL. went the officer's club on poor He yelled “murder!” and in the chorus by screaming ‘Trovon jewels glistened on her hands, Above whose gleams each starlet pales,— Alas! I could not press those palms Because she hadn’t cut her nails. neighbors dl of kup mansion, lis- ning to the tumult within, Is there no + | toilets in any THE BOW-LEGGED REVELER. of the LIZUR ELTONHEAD i volitieal front parlor the s | dignitaries and convivial highcockalorums of Old Mrs. Blifkins, who lives a few doors | West Hobo! That is, he's of some con down the street, started ont that particular | Seuwence when away frou the janide of his evening to goto the grocery. Justasshe was | QWn Tooftree, Mrs. EE. [aaiden name in front of Break she heard the old man | Melissa] rather flatters herself as being. sole | exclaim, in a hoa itary on the Eltonhead hearth-rug. “Thou hast but three moments more of ‘ou got inearly!” was the unnecessarily he sat bolt and gazed hibulous one, who emphatic remark of Madame : upright at two in the mornin contemptuously at her ta knot in b lacer, shee that ‘ere meetin’ o° broke up (ic) kinder sud-hudden like, pied Elizur, getting the last and kicking his br the room opposite to that in already landed the other sh« “Tow came the meeting to break up so suddenly 2” was the next question. ours string loosened at into a corner of which he bad “Why, yshee, Lisshy dear, everyshing fell through, an’ we ‘journed, ach the papers :, (hic) shiny dye And you came stratig ght home 7” “d_carry me. id his wife “What om hosband whom dorned with a pair of hemis- Poor little man better conld T expect fr nature eruelly phere shank And with a patrician sniff of the bourbon- laden ambient, sarcastic Mrs. E. turned her retrousse nostrils squarely to the north wall. ENRIQUE, A woway in Philad offers since the first of the from that many sewing ma of whom offered to sell her th machine ever manufactured, New York murderers are often put in the tombs before trial, and afterwards escape. It would be more conducive to the morality of the city if they were tried first and put in | tombs immediately afterwards. a has had twenty They were each best sewing A cnencn ina western town has secured the patronage of all the young ladies in the place by introducing single seats which re- volve on pivots. Young ladies can examine art of the house without dis: their necks, alm ‘Thus pi fort go hand in hand. written on board a steamship, the notes of a piano, the low: ing of a cow, the cackle of hens, indeed all the noises of the t here in’ mid- ” ‘The writer’s head’s level. Nothing suggestive of the ** noises of the barn- ” than the notes of a piano—or of some at le: | locati and c A LETTE OwseR oF Tine lane agin that house ; hace it doven.” Maxstox.—" Soy, Moike, don’t the firat thing you knone, you'll comicbooks.com