Judge — April 14, 1883 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. THIRTY DAYS IN THEU.S.SENATE. A Resume the Noble Work accomplished by the Hon, A, W. Tanonr, Bonanza Senator from Colorado, during his arduous Term of Service Ist day: Sworn in by President pro tem. Davis. Ruined the portly Davis’ eye-sight with a flash from his 10-karut head-light dia- mond scarf-pin. Found he would have no use for the Roman senatorial toga he had had mannfactured in Denver and brought with |. Introduced a bill,—Colorado Bill, the Indian scout,—to his senatorial colleagues. 3rd. Ha and emeralds inlaid on desk-top. two fect long. 4th. Gav lighted it wi h. Sunday; Ochiltree and Rev. Letters bring him a wgar; fiver. J, H—t Browna thous- and each, and played poker all day. Won the $3,000 back again as well as winning the Nevada property of Pinchover, the ‘ with- held dare of Ochiltree, and an order on the publishers for all royalties on the Rever- end’s book, entitled “The Pulpit and the Bear-pit; or a Parson in Congress!” Gth. Bought a hammer use, and had watch-charma (with cameo portrait of self thereon) distributed Senator. 7th. Was told by a blond female lobb; that he was.‘‘ just too sweet for anything.” Promised to vote in favor of her scheme. Ex- changed photos. 8th, Secured an appointment in the War Department for aconstituent—to call again. 9th. Had parliamentary rules amended as to permit Senators and Associated Pre reporters to roll ten-pins down the aisles dur- ing the Chaplain’s mornin; 10th. Rose to a questi sonal privi- lege, and asked lea place specimens of ore from “ Little Pittsburg” mine oh Presi- dent Davis’ table for general inspection, and that the sergeant-at-arms be authorized to open books for sale of stock. llth. Presented the U. S. government with a statue of himself for the rotunda of the capit Base adorned with a coat-of- arms representing a mine and a shovel couchant tiddy-i-rol, sing tiddy honorable but grub-stakers.”” 2th. Sunday; went to church. 1 brick onthe coll con to“ Never mind the change. 13th. Went to Mount Vernon. ice-house, thinking it was Gene: ington’s tomb. Asked privilege to place his own bust beside that of Lafayette in banquet hall of the mansion. 14th. Had painting of Lincoln removed from Senate chamber, and a chromo of the ‘Tabor Grand Opera House in Denver substi- tuted therefor. 15th. Called on President Arthur. Took him a topaz paper-weight which bore down the scale: 18 ounces; was surprised at His Excellency’s dignified refusal of the gift. 16th. Tried to outdrink Proctor Knott, of Kentue ut a wine-supper given by a well- known fellow-crank at ein Chamberlain’s. Failed 1th. Sick. 18th. Head still swelled. 19th. Sunday; recaperated on soda and ammonia, apollinaris and bromide of potas- sium. 20th. Went to New York to purchase bri- Put a an, in rubies, sapphire | : | ollection!” (‘Total paraly: ned Col. Pinchover, Tom | Id cuspidor for | the ree dal presents for Miss McCourt nee Doe. Items as follow: 1 Roman-gold Saratoga trunk, . . $1,800 00 1 spun-silver marri , studded’ with ae te, 3.3 1 pug dog,” 1 bolt flowered silk, (hand painted), 1 English landau, Jtah Divorce Laws, ‘ dress belt, set with diamonds and. pearls, ras 1 embroidered night-shirt (for self), Total, Os dpe oh) ‘To the partially-paralyzed and o merchants filling his orders, he rem: “Why, hav’nt you heard of me? Iam the great lam, Jam! I'm Senator Tabor, bo- hanza king from Colorado, and I do my court- ing, marrying and divorcing in a royal way. | That's the kind of a pay-dirt panner-out I am, and don’t you let it travel from your ree- of merchants). 2ist. Returned to Washington. Ordered wedding cards engraved on Tennessee marble | with fluted edges, and the flags of all nations inlaid thereon in colored ivories. some away, and had others delivered to city friends by the Union ‘Transfer Company. 22d. Oceupied seat in $ Voted No on a resolution offered hy Senator Edmunds, “That the alleged bribery and corruption in nt Colorado senatorial election be in- vestigated.” 23rd. No quorum being pre: and moved that the Senate adjourn de. Wondered greatly why his motion caused such uproarious laughter in the gal- leries. 24th. Showed confreres the announcement ent, he arose “xwine of his approach Bladder, fo 25th. marriage in the Oskkosk r columns in length. Met fiance at *day-po” with bra Drove in an open barouche, drawn eight milk-white horses to hotel. Pavement, stairs, etc., strewed with flowers, 26th. Took in the Co with betrothed. Considered Powers’ sta of “The Greek Slave” too dre trope “ou tree.” Also criticised Gers ing of Dead Caesar not alt song ruggle. 2th. Delivered maiden speech in S Subject, ‘The products of Colorad Cactus, Pi-Ute, Sage-Brush and Re collectively considered. ora Art 30th, Badeeach Senator a tearful “Aadlur.” ‘To the courtly ‘ of Gentleman George Pendleton he sobbed a heartfelt ** Oui Alapaca!” Amid the solemn moments of the expiring C when every eye was turned upon the great Tabor, (he who had rendered such | nd eminent service to the country as the leader in the forum, the thrilling debater and the unsurpassed cons tutional ud above the sound of the uncontrolable demonstrations of grief by those pri over this agonizin; ting with the + st Roman of them all now heard the lofty western fu revoir t-shirt cost me , in the diplomatic ery, Ain't she purty?” and—exit Tabor! HANNIBAL HAMLIN JOHNSON Now that Lady Florence Dizey's life has been saved by a St. Bernard dog, all other pet dogs will be discarded. Wouldw't a St. Bernard make a nice companion ina village cart? el comicbooks.com