Judge — March 17, 1883 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BARNABY BOLIVAR BLINKS. IN POUR SPASMS) CONVULSION FIRST. Twa freshman ot Yale as was daddy before me: girls of New Haven, I, they adore me- Togle these pets, And smoke cigarettes, And pay, like a prince, for my own ro As gentlemen always should do, methinks; And my name it ts Barnaby Bolivar Blinks. nd of drinks, CONTELSION SECOND. Iwas at my own christening, so the nurse told me, It took both grandmas and three aunties to hold m I was named ‘mighty quick For the parson, #0 slick, Dashed some water from one of the baptismal sinks And, despite my grimaces, my wri He said: * You are Barnaby Bolivar Blinks CONTELSION THIRD, Jept at billiards, and lncid at poker but no heartle My mustaches [urge And cut quite a splu With a hired turnout, when [driv Who for tippet and mutt im And cha and kisses to B. Bolivar Bl ewhat of aw CONVULSION FOURTH al timer, ewspaper rhyiner— a scrut-race Pin a cap ch of a accept this dear Jr put And owe me Because T snap short on th al links My muse is so dwarfish, it modestly shrinks Behind the cognomen, B. Bolivar Blinks HANNAH. (Right to Tragedize reserved by the Author.) My name is Jim, Stasia, and Tilly, Stasia h: eociey young man, who was thoroughly hated by Hannah. On the evening of t f Stax birth, Johnny determined to give her a hang-up sere He confidentially notified Ma, Tilly and myself of his in Pa was ac until after the frst son sisters—Hannab 1a beau, Jobnny Blue I have three nade. on, which we heartily encouraged. ened from hi was sup to be aw: night slumbers Not a single word or hint of the forthcoming to be given to that misebief-trewer, Hannah. for my fee her about nade | bat if you ea this serenade.” Of course we respected his feelings Hannab sniffed someth Tilly, by the promise of the secret. Then “Oh!” she soliloquized, within my hearing I just make hty sick to-nig! out from the fan And she kept her word join him in the ser ngs, don't post e bribed * to tell “won't | cel, fifty-poander Johnny nt, for his meanness in tryin’ to nal to tender he had invited a half a dozen of the best-voiced pers of a fas! he club to which he belonged. “You bet.” he smilingly assured these club fellows, “we will havea first-class hang-up lay-out furnished us, because I'm all right with the old woman sides, what I say is fave.” One of the fellows timidly asked: «Bu how do you stand with the old man? and is he to be in on this serenade racket toot” “Oh! the old pet's all right. He wouldn't kick on me—no, not if I blew his old shanty ap with dynamite, exclaimed Johnny, with the air of a newly-elected Allerman, intent upon personally steering all the political doings of his ward Twelve o'clock came at last It was the hour appointed for the first song by the sweet-voiced serenaders, then assembled directly un- be- . Johnay, Stasia’s chamber window. At that time Stasia lay THE JUDGE. slumberin; tooth yer face besmeared with soft charcoal artist of the f notive, vat without her sor sister's knowles ct. Pa was snoring like a steatning locc Ma, and Tilly, and I were try- ing to keep each other awake on the parlor aofa. Where was Hannah? At that identical moment she had her red bead poked ont of Stasia’s balroom window, ard was softly call- ing ont, “Hash, Johnny; don’t start the singing yet; want to speak with you first.” + Who's that?” said Johnny in a low voice. «It's me—Stasia,” said Hanna ter Stasin’s Zentle voice; **just step in the front hall- way.” Johnny answered that he would, and he hastened to do as he was bid, at the same time wondering who the ence had previously apprised Stasia of the serenad The rest of the serenailera, while awaiting the return of their leader, struck up, in gnbdaed voices: * Wait till the clouds roll by.” This aroused Stasia, who sprang out of bed, rushed tothe window, and shrieked, “Go away from he yon nolay set of hoodlams.” Jerusalem!” exclaimed one of the seronaders, rather have that ‘ere cloud roll by than roll oat on Guess us fellows are at the wron anyway This ‘ere cooness must be one of the servants of the house who's been awakened by our singin, Let ne fun with her,” cried another. Whereapon they all began making the affrighted Sta- sia a target for enow-balls, broken branches of trees, and s Throw down one of your old shoes, big can sail home in yp yourself out the window, Dinah, you for a new stove-polish advertiser . imitating her sis- window can phot In the meantime, where was Johnny? indeed, but locked in a py pa kept his safe contain pers. Hann dark hallway as to allow bi her. After thus wheedlin ate TU money and valaal ally played herself off in the tasia, to Johnny, even going so far as nd kiss to put his arm around her waist 3 e innocent Johnny into this by tant: xclaimed, izing bie. ming her natural tone of voice. “You can sing your serenale ong in there now, old shi ! Tain’t Stasia, at all, Pm Hannah! Ain'tye sorry you kissed met" “Oh! you deceptive little wretch, let me or I'll never forgive you,” yelled Jobnoy. “Don't be angry, Johnny darling,” she sa top of her voice. “Oh! do let me out of here, Hannah. Now do, like a real good girl, aud ove if I don't give yous half-dozen matinee tickets; besides you know my friends are wait- ing for me to join them outside,” cried Jobnoy “Well, can’t you sing in there lond enou them hear you “Never mind getting any matinee tickets, ‘cause Stasia might get jealous Ta, ta, now, Sobnoy; lay down on pa's saw if it is in there, and go to sleep like a nice little fellow can't get out for a good long while, mind!” s Leaving the imprisoned Johuny screaming for help, she touched the barglar alarm, connecting with th police-station near by. In the meantime Stasia, terrified by the missiles and epithets hurled at her by the serenaders, closed ber bedroom window, rashed to her slumberin; sleeping apartment, and fell lik Startled beyond expres struck a light. Catching a glimpse of frantically out of the room at the foot of which our cook, Jane, had left a dish of floating-island custard to cool, as the ice refrigerator was already fall of similar delicacies and fruit for thy serenaders. Smack! splash! into the soft custard went pa’s right foot, when he reached the bottom of th Oh, Melchisidech ! how he whooped and swore, and hopped about in his night robes. “Och, murther!” yelled Jane, picking up the fra ments of the custard and broken dish.“ Ye've sphoilt me buteetal cushthird, so ye bev, sur! of here, at the h to id she. for you e added inst his bed in a death- swoon. . pa leaped out of bed and fasia’s black face, he rushed 1 down the back stairs, airs. | Nioves Ma, Tilly, and my was the matter? ter enongh!” roared pa, who looked as pale as a resurrected corpse. ‘A confounded big ni wench just flopped herself into my room, and I want help to fre her out of it, doable quick, too! the police! Twas too If rusted to pa, inquiring what Ring for nach scared to obey his order wench in you Px! “Ob, you mast have only dream walking in your « trembling. “Do you think f'm drunk, of a cu all ¢ and look in my room, won!” he shouted Police officers surrounded the serenaders and march- ed them off to jail. Jobnny was likewise captured He begged for merey our family implored the of- cera Then Johnny said that he and his club friends would be and Han nab was aatistied that <b “even with Jobnzy Johnny and bis fri Jischarged by Judge Mun son, and Johnny has » Australia, Stasia i to marry Jakey Patt butcher, and Hannah is ound to be an old laimed ma. that, and p." suggested Tilly, who stc you, if you doubt my » release him. forever disgraced, ADELE An Earnest Appeal Tuat’s arib-ticMling story which they used to tell out ny at the expen e famous gov ernor, Claiborne F, Jackson. vived the enig- ma of lovelock, he ouri married five sisters !—in rea. sonable lapses of 4 matter of ae cency. Aft ly mourned, be courting within secutivencss, as Fon wen Lo noth narrow circle for he rather liked the f tions wen wife had and appropriate el be ki f his own rel We of his predilee- <poused ily. Sc widows ere he again tra nto willing, if wot blushing to the conquering Benedict The antiquated father of these girl Not, perhaps, as deaf as a post, nor, ar To hath it: orme Hood * Deaf as th ther quite as deaf as a miser usually is to the en. treati nly deat as a man who as been wedded for half a century to the same woman as every right to be. When the Governor went to this octogenarian to ask for his surviving daughter, a conversation, thus faith- fully reported, ensued: Pop, T want Lizzie tinite article of poverty “Lwant you to let me have Eliz-a-Leth! you want Lizzie What for?” my wife!” do you? her!” Thear you, boy.” “I'm precious glad you do!” muttered the Governor, “Well,” slowly responded the veteran, “you needn't holler so that the whole neighborhood knows it! Ye you can have her, Claib. You've got how, my lad; but for goorlness sake, if anything happens to that ed gal, don't come and ask ie for the I want—to—marry “Ob, yes! Ju he never would, Qe. THE TARIFF QU “What! the gu nt wants ter take the dooty off or soap? No, she won't at not if Lean help it,” comicbooks.com