Judge — March 10, 1883 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. How a Society Young Man Conceived an Aversion tor “Balls.” If Is seven long years since we met, old trhend When w > happy and say And w ’ and such without end, Wh: dan ' nings away For the olden-time pleasures at all Atul (t sooms strange to me that aught should impair Th tiom you had for the ball Lromomtor ro well Low you were the beatt Who the damsels 8 earnestly sought As best waltzer of all in ball-rooms, you know; You enjoyed it se much then, T thought I t imagine where you ean have been That would change your whole nature like this, So now, my old commade, a tale you must «pi Aud my fant-srowlnsg Yeo, Jimmy, my boy, you have rewl a teue bill I plead guilty to all you have said Tonce bived the Lall, but had my fl Aud my fent seom as heavy as lead You ask where Fvo been for the seven year past, To acquire such a surfeit of b S$) Filtell you, old ‘fel,’ jast why Pea aghast aubject which mem'ry recalls T went ont fora rt sell diamonds and whieh a Ie Well, Toon * pri 2 fow., f me the piteh + Now, to you “twill be plain why balls When in prison shops shoes I did 4 For five weary y fh day hy a chain X ed with molasses, inte his father's big ee | Blinky trie! wench the burning | A _ land with a bottle of bay rum which she snatehed fec Almost a Serious Church Scandal. arber's tollet-shelf. Johnny ued a whole box of |’ Bartier minister, recently returned from 1 Wis father’s shaving powder on Punk's face. ‘The | expresses the opinion that it is a very wicked Apovry DrwoLaraw ls a barber. powiler-puff s000 resembled an Ivory-habdled : to which Sanday never reac He also calls | Mra. Dinglepaw is bla wite rial atsiatant | jen of vice.” ‘The trouble with him seems tote They are blessed with numerous customers, and four that he: west je Ena, Raph Weetern no, five children At this confasesl moment the Rev. Mr. ¢ a | civilization bred preachers 5 The fifth made its vociferous sett inthe curtaine k. shortestatured rector of high-church teneta, | few sears tern traveler was looki | prior to the veracions writ A quiet sh + Ye suds he might aswell have | Meal clergyman with whom te was talking that the Bat tho Grunt family, who lived up-staire over the | boilin heart but det not show?” exelaimest the a sdust seu walt here ti Bat everytanly’s got enough » rnin thei ¢; for which unintentional act | fmeralf” There was pan with the trae: Lea own business,” aa Mra Dinglepaw said to Mrs. Poke | Blinky set te flinging I oo ville spirit. — New York dignant Mrs Dinglepaw, who had oxerheand Mra, | the shop floor K-whose little fat, | 1g Out of the dives and grogeshops, sald: “Well, Grant's objection 10. her rapid of infantile | powder, molasses, and tear- save him the | that’s a zoo idea, I've always thouzht therm were too statistics, “1 reekin J hain't ter drown or | look of a diminutive Hampty Dai many | orts, where jiz-water is sold, in New strangle my cbiliren, y don't hay At this juncture, Mrs. Di nple ang | York. Let ‘em weed; it wor 1 me'n Td Stokes, ter sait Mra, Grant. nv widow, who is a Sabbath-school an the Brunswick No, Ti die first!” ejaculated Mra. Pokeaboat, © church, wishing to secure Litt as — sly dancing the «qualling baby up and down of her catechism clase fr Sewrmyo® for tt people tobe very stenedl Punk, in honor of bis him to her on the fo Just as she en Buster, who Is a very nice man | terod the confused rector eried ont, “Oh — when he's sober, which is seldom, and who Is a m: will you try and quiet this child? Ica esos will carry away ¢ unpieked bo} facturer on a small seale of Sre-works. . Jat this unforeseen predieanent—will exp » Washington to enable him to grub clong the re- Tt was Monday nizht, m stisfactoril: to you now.” | mainder of hie tfe No customers for “a p00,” Come here, you littledarting,” cooinzly murmun Sus “hair-eat” F anticip: the smiling widow, ext her arms towards the | w York Den Butler could “bottle up” his family went out to retarn Mra. Pokeabout’s call wbbing Punk, who was held by the reete | would do good work. Be- Well, on Monday night, Mr. and Mrs. Grant also Whise the widow was thas tenderly entr ¢ Punk, | to preside at the Cooper In- went out—not to make a social call » attend a | the Grunts, accompanied by afew other devout mem. | Irish mecting the ex-Senator talked like an ex- | cial prayer-mecting in the Methodist church, of | bers ef their eh anl her as they peepel ia | his rele m. only child, a daughter, whose name is Blinky, agel te If to be cauzht making love toa high-eburch rector | per week and pay $3.50 of it for boanl; so e-y3 Colonel A real nice, goo little girl is Blinky, too. But st © You wouldn't catch a Methodist we | salary Is ex cent In extravagant | was horn, and still continues to be, eross-eye such liberties taken with him,” proudly ejacala | seal-skin seq) But that ain't nathin’ agin the child, an’ wat nit, in which religiously-partisan sentiment she was | = | want git a straight squint of inthis wurld, want niver | joined by her friends | Asorier comet discovered. It looks as though — | bother hur in ther nixt,” as the family butcher said. A veraclous reporter, who was not then employed in | they came thls way on purpose to get named and | Peace reigned t lle In his cradle as soand as an ua Pank was sleey porarily in the Dinglepaw dom|- an occasional expression Indicating a stomacic | the facta for a xensational newspaper article, which ramp, softly: 2 article, however, never appeared an print, as the re Blinky ! Blinky !7 softly called Jobonie Dinglepaw | turn of the harber and wife elicited a prompt explana. | up Grunts back stairs, tion of the whole disturbance Wat yer want!” immediately replial Blinky, | ° Johnowe Dinglepaw lame Blinky Grant for every. | ig at the top of the stairs holding a lamp, ant | things and Blinky in turn eid it was all J her good eye on Jobnnie fault candy, Ma an' pat mnanac recipes for inahing “lasses ean | cum right down an’ we'll hev b Blinky, eet |The senior Dinglepaws and Grunts are alsa at ir- Ob,” sail Blinky, shivering eenl to, cause | ‘Tholigh-chureh rector has learned how me fadur an’ mudder might from pray’e | himself | eet’ a hed the candy med, an’ coteh us, ané | Widow Dimple is married tua eharet | en Td git skint alive. O—oh! fe hnnie Punk & thrivin —apens | if yell cam,” he ph plazed up, causing Blinky, th nk up, and in company with the reat of the il, yon y then, my father was a to roari ferously, Johonie hastily het aight be han yours, slr.” writing up articles on the present investigations of | talked aboat ch us —— TH make - 7 | His Father's Father | | “Why, it’s orful airly yit, an’ day won't ¢ ook-a-here, Til give yer half 0” ther candy aded Her mouth beginning to water for the i andy, she hastily put aside the lamp, and slist_nois Sermmenncenze’s eldest boy gives him a great deal Jy down the stairs to join Johnnie in the garrepti- | Of trouble by staying out late nights. The other day ious ure of ‘lasses candy yd man sad to hat, Ther almanick ees yer must pat butter io wit’ ther | “Young man, when T was sour age, my fath lassia,” said Blinky. wouldn't allow me to stay out nights tI such unreas | Dere aint? enny butter in de pantry, but thare’s a | Senable hours; why sir, 1 had to be tn tet at nine pully bizg can of lard thare; will that do, Blinky 2° o'clock, and it wouldn't J example for you to fon “Wy, a course with the fust, an’ Vip The pot w mptied into itt replied Blinky air of a you pt the lard in ther py “You must havy had a pretty kind of an old fossil 1,” replied aviuate | “Fossil, haps 1 did, father, losing his ten brazen yelled the « perhaps he unted sion. Id gentleman, Per waa an ohd f pled his ro tot IL a one thing i in the “lassis after.” already on the red ean of lanl, w nsgh fri 1 immediat ly drop the at of the « he slid with thankful for—There fa to be no extra session of Con- We suspect they are ¢ and after inter- | gender, and delight in hav any, respecting the | glasses pointed at them. the ferninin * the appeared on the Grunts and scene comicbooks.com