Judge — January 13, 1883 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Cartaly: Brooks, you ure a handsome, ded. man. age player of whist; bu s-bed You are only an aver- you are £0 amiable that one hardly knows how to take your tricks. You do not always choose the most sincer especially when you go to visit one of your o talks ungrammatically in the cou Hen Most, yon are a is that capital shall force of arms to th talk Is erazy, but you ai dirty, and Kill, rob, but for the oenetit of the © will 0 this cou deal You of the day you can without working. You would eat the world ns ¢ x months frienda, ry. socialist. Your idea propriated ruthlessly and by of the crazy mot. Your talking to men s a as unworthy as yourself. Y al of the nky hords try a era jestroy of brutes who £ trouble, eat thinking. the moon in s Me. Rowent Here the subject of © you were not Freddy ¢ INos, You Were a few gossip; but it Uhardt, after all. orllooking. curly-haired, smooth-fa cheeked, w perl assiatunt district attorney o New York. You were not loved. The boys did noe 1 You were overbeari You were stiff, and not genial. Your father-in-law, Dick Connolly, put_ mach office, power, and money in your way Bill Tweed, who was made a lawyer and a general, be- canide he knew little law and no military science, you. who did kuow considerable law, were put into inilue id better than weeks ag ars that You wer , round- jerable -! Like youn ne tlal positions. Perhaps you ny men who drank whi Bat you have ma at success. scandal of these 2 ¥, and who migl, have zot the places y for yourself. Yo Tur Jepar nev for that reason it gy vod! natured remarks re nected, 3 you the Hasstmat Haws, you were nomis felon the ticket with Lincoln because you happened to be a Joorl-natured farmer politician in the East, and a far- man was wanted to balance the ticket, just as Andy Johnson waa afterwards put on to balance with the Southern Union men, You are a quiet, amiable, grandmotherly old man, ag honest aa the day 1s le and a sort of wand of the old Unionists wh old Lincoln administration. For shonld have an oitice as long as there is a Republican party in power. Reverence and gratitude are waning virtues in the American character, especially Iu the rth; and such a tribute to the old ticket party as is being paid to you aids in fostermg dwindling virtues, You are not are the grandfather-orplian of th ment, and the Unio! oredt the m you that re ad old those great ty Union-War senti- Peace sentiment is your yaanhan n, but you Ma. Monat Hatstean, Te: Jepar is truly sorry that your journal, the hhas a separate exis innati ‘Commercial. no longer er, but that itis to be consolidated with Deacon Richard ith’s Gazette. However, as you are to come to New York, and write from he ‘over your own signature, you will have a fine oppor: tunity for the display of our talents, and for the propa- gation of your w You will occupy toward the nost the same position that prze William Curtis holds toward his paper. Mr. ith will probably make the editorial page of the paper stalwart and ; while you will be able na to your heart's content. May your robust body long enjoy good health and terrapin stew. May your formidable white mustache 1 goater continue to embrace a glass of good red May you forget the story-writing as. Commercial Ga of your youn, B may you get rid of the pie-biter, R. 3 ay you cease to think that a namby-pamb corn-popping. maple-sagar-munchi with a voice like a cracked hand-organ, and a soul like ahant hoilet ez, is the only man in the world fitted to ran the United States. Forsake Ohio sloppiness, and do not affiliate with the rural Cheap-Johns who are half-breeds any more than you give yourself over to * Ohio politician, vod seaman, and a 1 passengers who THE JUDGE. shoulde Witting stalwarts, » up to the Morton the next time he If you an anid seo H ty New Yo od you may ari Watterson Justice Joseen P. Bu aviey.why anybody should ever have called yoa Is one of those things that Tne Jever can only imperfectly understand. You are not at all Liké a Joe, or a J Jim, or u Fred, which nicknamies are given either for amiability or for follity of manner. It may be, however, that very lon; you were a jolly goo fellow. Even in your growing age, when, little fellow, you etting a little ph stomach that locks like a bead on a toothpick, you have shown to Tie: Jcose a quiet little sparkle under {hinted at a good deal of latent anization, You excellent Joe | your gray eye-brow th deviltry in your or lawyer, without gr at of a politic: make a dry #1 1 eloquence, and when you we tl n New Jersey, could ech which was listen pect, ani which was not entirely unlike ¢ Ideas which is 80 keenly and effectively employed You were somewhat unjustly made the carrier of unpopularity which, If any was deserved, should have fallen upon the shoulders of also. otlier members of the Supreme Court who voted for the con | temptivle Hayes. But Tre Jcpox can Imagine that you were sufficiently panished by seeing what surt of & Presidential mantkin you had made.” A lesver | thing than Rutherford B. Hayes never bit at a pine hook or evaded the scrutiny of a fond mother who was growing cross-ryed in watching the emolaments of a e-tooth comb, So that Tie Jepor will not Ulame you for being blind and ignorant of the prize that you were drawing for the Americ ple from vat historical lottery-bo: as blind- folded and deceived as you Were. aN and practical. You are not a poet, but y some talent for politics, Yet you.are-somewhat of a cold dreamer, Little asinine Stewart L. Woodford, who is not worthy to dust your slippers, and whose brain rattles around in bis bead like a dried hazel-nut meat in its shell or a bean in a bladder, would m impression somew J to with re nner ke more a crowd in two minutes than you could make in a generation. You were never so positive aa McCarter, who used to bully, nor so passionate as the | frothing Williamson, nor so portentously sweeping as Zabriskie, nor so much of a cuckoo whistling to a primrose as the somnolently soothing Frelinghuysen, You used to be known as a man who had a violent temper. You were intolerant, and if your pantaloons did not fit you you stuck your foot through them with characteristie 1:1 You have, however, won as fa place as a Jerveyman could wish;-and T Jvpoe: hopes that you will grow so that the buttons on your coat will be set forward every year, atienes Mx, Wita.ta Stersway, you are a man of the work’. The labors of your family have been of benetit to the worl'; but you have al much money. Good terizel you as a man, and you have heretofore met the world as yoa have found i Ry very many people you respected. ma sense has always chara re ly. and deservedly 1 repatations experience, be- whom Tie Jepae has Men who know you hav as critics, and some have, from wid 1c; but no one of the met has ever said one single wont about you that was not kind, For all this you may Le proad and sa istled. In Trethbar you have a friend who has. acumen and ability a fas is a man wh pleasing s a critic of musical mat ia careful, good-natured, alert and You have other zentlemen in your business of whom you have no reason to be ashamed. We ought not lo forget the gentleman who, though unfor- nate In the use of his eses, ha so delicate an ear for the musical merits of the interior of a piano. ‘There are, among the musicians who enter your doorway, some very sensible men, There are the sedate SB. Mills, and the active W. F. Mills, and the alert Werner, nd the poetie Arnold, and the sentimental Futseh, and the able Gottschalk, and the satisfied Remmerta, and the indefatigable Thomaa, and many others whom we shall not, at this time, mention. But, Mr. Steinway, you must become tired of other and less worthy ones, For. among the people who haunt the lintels of your doorway, are very many preposterously blastering fellows, who, on account of some certaln or uncertain connection with musical affairs, assumo a great deal of ridiculous and contemptible superiority of manner. | ing the style of a bewildering sea-serpent. They as sume more airs among women than Freddy Gebbrt or Aaron [urr, and more importance among meu than Histn recs py dog. A more monstrous ess than exists amoug these presumptive lady ahd not be hom killers ¢ or even In thi ceited, un; 1 in any pi They stighiting arena, inaane asylum, are brusque, eon autlemanly, a very loud in their w of them, a8 musicians, are equal tothe smallest clerk as a ny Yet they seen to own every metines wonders they get their bread, yet they ¢ se with perplexing impo beer as if they were pur ountains to the se Is measurer, ance, and orler a gluse of Ru sing from itfernal, thande z tones of ther ¢ from the rane like, is their sch teristic; and silly are the roof-tea ly endure thelr cone Because a shriinp nd yet some of ‘a lubster nor a the arvest very bi boys than pia most of t them are Dtter for more iike Midle make better fs we pity you. soundin rab than Me peddlers than Steinway, How tired you must 2 1 locusts, How Summerbreeze wasJudged. | A rew uso Locks to delive intended tos Summerbreeze Ww wi nt out great temperance ad several days, with an old psuck, im which he carried a On the trait he wd | terial I 1 | png his aatehels with a mini after th ‘TL discover the mistake, u tecture, | at his friend’s house he is valise to ive his friend's little daughter a packaze of popcorn which — | he had purehaset for her. The first U and _ men that struck his eye v ly ejaculating a cuss-word about th om | woman's forgetfulness, he jammed it one eide and — | caught sight of a pint bottle, © Jimminy.” he exe claimed, and poked it under the dirty ebirt. the other side of th in the vain hope that by come careless blunder the bottle and dirty shirt had been left in his valise from the last flshing excursion, his eyes were greeted with a sight that fairly ma roots of hair on his bald head stand up like the Open | fal porcupine’s ” qui | His friend saw the deadly pallor come over Sammer- breeze’s face, and Jamped to support him ere he fainted. The catastrophe ¢: his efforts to close the unlucky gripsack J out upon the floor, and poor Summertrceze broke from tl like a madman and ran for the Three hal pint bottles, a pack of cards, a bunch of cigars, several plugs of t a prayer-book rolled out carpet. Bat the prayer-book wasn't ood enow take the cuss of the other artich doubly prov nerbreezo's ownership, His friend er att his friend's downfall and degradation, thought what an old iypoerite Sumn But while he was meditating on th alld pray tnust have stolen this prayer-took, and added to hia long list of sins.” In the good book was written: JOUN DRUMMER, With Ma the contents rol 100 wie | su & Co. Wholesale Grocers. | Id Summertreeze finally came citement bad subsided a back all was exp fer lis ex ed. A TERRIMLE, outrage was perpetrated at a Christmas festival in a Pennsylvani which deserves the attention of the Society forthe Prevention of Cr to Children. Inthe report of the festival itis stated — | that “pictares of missionaries to Japan were given to | the Infant School.” And this ina season of good-with on earth and peace toward ment It is such wantow impositions that embitter a child's natare and fill his heart with yearnings to become a pirate and imbue tow y Iv woman marries a man for his money, shouldn't ‘They are very much like a small oyster-cracker assum- she have a divorce when the money is gone | | his hands in gore, | | comicbooks.com