Judge — January 13, 1883 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. PROPHETIC. Os Christmas Eve Arthur and Cleve{land) Hung ap the Nation's stocking. Early next morn, With looks forlorn, They foand these contents shocking — Snug at the toe, With gaze of woe, saw Jobn Kelly's shadow; And you can bet, Alarmed was Chet. And most outrazeous mad, ob! Clev When at the top, With Vict'ry’s crop And grin go mild and tam! He plainly spied The acatliless hi Of bis opponent, * Sammy,” Who botlly wore Stamp *°88" Upon his forevead mockin Bat time will tell, Explaining well The “omens” of this stocking. OUR POPULAR FARCES. RTED BY THE PASSION PLAY. CHARACTERS Mayor Gractors, Pansox Attruen Joux SweLty Paataist Monsr, Eterrpae Skeuey, Mr. Saxctimo: -Mavor ( ters present. Paulmist Morse.—1 be addressing Mayor Gracious ? Sense woes! office. All of the charac Time—Lefore New Year, Ihave ev Pleasure of Mayor Gracious. althor fow days I will be ex-officio. Pralmist M.—I desire a license. Mayor G.—What for? Pealmist M.—1 bave built a sort of lybrid struc- tur, half-theater, half-chareh, with jx circus, in Twenty-third street. 1 play Mayor @.—What sort of a play? Pralmist M.—A religious play; In fuet, the Passion Play, depicting the sufferings, trials and temptations of Wy ood will yimen, [mean Oar Lond and Master, Jesus Christ. zh in a very at can Ido for you? a dash of the wl (0 produce a who came on earth to pr ac Extridge Skerry. Mayor Gracious slohin Skelly. Parson Ailtherage. Mr. Sanctimonious Staner. | Tealmist M.—Just what 1 say produce the Passion Play Parson AUth T protest, (Mares his legs.) 1 shout and gymnast against it. (Stans upon has head.) Verily do Tdislocate my joints in its disfavor. (Dislocates Ishriek and yawp that it shall never come to pasa, (Shrieks and ynreps.) Even dol hamp my back in opposition. (Humps tack.) Yea, will 1 el self upon my hands and bulge my knees in antay- atic postures. (Elerates himself upon his hands and bulges knees.) Yea, gentlemen, as the acrobatic meal clown of the City of Churches do T sound the trumpet that such a play shall never be enacted. It is a mockery of religion. Psalmist M.—Coald there be more of a mockery of religion than your weekly performances? Who was it that made a bet of one thousand dollars from the pal it, a8 if said pulpit was the pool-atand of a race course } Wars J desire a hcense to aye points.) Varson A. did it. Til do it again. It's a cold ay T let any reverend sucker steal my sermons. [had bard enough work to steal them my- elt. bridge Skerry.—1 also will not allow the Passion Play to proceed. when Peatmist M.-—Why not? Elbriige S.—1 am counsel for the Soclety of Pre- vention of Cruelty to Children, and I bear you mean to | have children—ebildren of tender years —In your sacri- us perfor Pealmist M.4quic Hbridge S.~ Then we will stop itr Psalmist M.—Guess vot Elbridge S.—Why? Pealmist M. (Wand). papter-macke. Eheidg (Suhsirten Mr. S Let me speak. 1 the religious community of New York, dom | ically protest aguinst it. Its rendition will be to all things sacred. Hanily—ah—ean 1 con person 40 lost to all sense of what is proper, why will | assume the character of th Psalmist M.—Do you kt Mr. 8. Sinner. - Who? walmist M.—Mr. Wannemact ter in regular standing, onda tly). Yws, ir, we do. bt away! Because the chikiren are x01 Sinner. wh—on be st emphat- n insult eve a Nazarin 6 Who will asaume itt a Baptist minis ed at Pottsville, an whose ordination papera auy, ** You are to py the gospel aa you see fit.” Now, if be thinks be "some more souls by preaching from the ats U.an from the pulpit, is he not sustained hy his ordin, tion papers ? r. S. Simner.—Miserableexcase! Psalmist M.—Mr. Sinner, let Vions? Mr. & Sinner.—Proceed. Psalmist M.—You are a Christaint Mr. S. Sinner—Venly. Deacon of the chureb, Peatmist M.—You are rich t Mr. 8. Sinner—The Lord has been pleased town. dow me with a fair portion of this world's goods. Psalmist M.—Mostly real estate? Mr. 3 Sinner—Y Peatnist M.—-You, as you almitted, are a ebarch member. Yet three of your houses are occupied by | bers, five are houses of ill-repute, two are low vari dives, one is a dance house where the feet of hundrests of young men and women first tread the path to perdi- tion, and most of the rest of your dwellings are vc pied by liquor dealers. Yet all of these places are licensed Ii | boy, braim and soul — by the very authorities which hagsle over granting permission to present, what 1 term, an acted orm ask you a few ques may mn (Mk. §. Sixsee saints.) Pooh! Val! your argumenta are irrelative. ng todo with the subject. Anybody else to Mayor G. Have nothi speak John Skelly Mayor G. John 8. Oi have, What A good dal Piwase sta’ ave you to say, Mr. Skelly Mayor G. to the Pasaion Play John S.—M stroikes at morality, sur, and meself un’ the byes have been thrying our besht to ilivate the standard av morality inthe city, and, be Heavens, abt tt throagh proxy, lasht election, Aad, Mr, Mayor ? Well? ear? your argument in opposition Mayor G. John S. Mayor G.—You have It. John S—Hark me whisp! Mayor G.—I'm bark’ning John S.—Niver grant Alayor G.—Why ? John S.—Tammany 1s against it. What! Fact. Th ect wur discussed at the nm the other noizht Barney Marti Pat Keenan, Joel Stevens, Sunset Cox. Nick Mall Aleck Davidson, Dick Croker, Mike Datty Kennedy, who science wad throuble them far Ii afflicted whi a Passionate Play Mayor G.—But what can 1 dot you and I, I see no barm in the proposed performance. ohn S.—OWU tell y Mayor G.—What ? John S—Rayfase for the prisint. Ye are going out av office, ye can afford to take Vanderbilt's advice in regard to the public and — Mayor G. (anziously).—What ? John S. (triumphantly).—Lave it to Edson ! (Cewrats.) ¥ divil a license, sub inola. aven th swore that their con- fe if New York war pes the Mor Really, between OUR CARD RECEIVER. ‘THE SOFT GLOVE Horror ov Tite Jcoux.—Will you give your opinion apcn the sabject of boxers and and prize-nghiers Loxe Istaxp bay. you are just the boy Tn Jepor wishes to talk to. There is no reason in the world why a youn man should not learn how to box. Next to horselmack riding and rowing, it Is perhaps the mest healthful of It isals very useful and gracefal, It is not hecessary that ofe should Le a loafer in order to y more than it is necessary to be a robber because you can spade a strawberry gar it Mr. nd Mr. Sullivan wish tof Tur Jewar bas no objection, provided they do so in Her Majesty's dominions, to whict Tie Jepar’s juris- diction does not extead. Mr. Miss Nellie Grant, is a very elegant boxer. Mr. Gebbart’s critics are also warned th looking polo-player ang borse-owner Is very q his fists, as well as alover of pretty women, Prince of Wales, also, isa very fair sparrer, although he prefers a hox at the theater where there is a bal Some of the nicest gentleman in New York have ta Jessons in sparring from noted bruisers, They did & invite the Uruisers to their The society frequented by prize-t best. John C. Heenan was probably th ters, bat he was a » have figured about the ri ves, pickpockets and burglars. Th or w learned, nor a good-looking lot of people. Most of them can hardly read. Few of them Do not try to be a prize-fighter or to be a companion of th Let Tur Jepor tell you about the end of Yankee Sulliv e was a pet.” One New York U allivan went op toa newly-ar- rived Englishman, and, taking gome dislike to him, blackened both bis eyes, The prize-fighter afterwards went to San Francisco, where the roaghs of the v orld were congregating. That was before the days when Heenan, the blacksmith, used to sail down from Beni- cia to clean out a barroom of a Satuniay night Bat 40 riotous were the roughs, that the Vigilance Co mittee improvised jails, and among the desperadoes wis Yankee Sullivan, The night after his arrest a man with a big knife entered his ceil. Sallivan was chained and handcutfel. He begged for his life, and wept and prayed and tugzed at his chains. ‘The man gave him fa slash with the knife across the wrist, almost soveri it. He bled to death, and the next morning, being found tn bis cell, a coroner's jury said that he had com- mitted suicide. One man knew that be had net, that was the Englishman whose eyes he had once black~ ened in New York, and who had slashed him with the knife, Y exercises, a boxer, an rave: Indeed, Sartoris, who married necessarily host roman- nbler. are neithe nice. n write, room, OUR HEBREW FRIENDS, Eprrox ov Tae depor: bo you wore than they formerly were ot think that Jews are treated this enty > AN ADLER Jew, No; there was a time before we were bora, when Jews were compelled to live 1 part of the Now they can go anywhere. The Jews obey the Few of them are ever seen ina police court; y hound a man to death if they "get ihe law on him.” They are very peaceatile Thoy are well treated here. In certain parts of G many the restrictions on them are very great. They no cause for complaint cor but noisy TUE LAST ACT. Mr. EprToR:—What 1s to be done with the people wbo hastily rise aud otstroct your view and rush for the door when the last uct of a plas te not yet foisbest? TuxaTeR-Gorn, As such prop play, and are probably, proceeds from a sort of wild, boorish, ani- mal impulse to do some rushing at other people's ex- pense. Brainlessness lies at the bottom of it. Our dramatic writers should combine to prevent, or our managers should insert, in the last act of every play, a saying that only the vulgar rise and bolsterously fy, while those who are truly ladies and gentlemen ma seen leisurely® sitting until the curtain touches the stage. No one #0 soon resenta being considered 18 not @ gentleman as your trae loafer; and in this way, per- hapa, well drested, diamondel loafers and loaferesses may be kept down, nt of the merits of th ot really pressed fur time, their ri comicbooks.com