Judge — December 9, 1882 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SS —Ss Feiieerow, what bas Vecome of Steve t Cant Senvez, has the hack-driver at Fort Washing- that he 1 can you still conjuga rson beanty t Mk. Earsest Harvie month ago the world be- jeved that you were the most contemptible sneak since slays of Ponting Py Tur Jvpar shared that He begs your pardon, Joe Levy has since Me. Arronyeys the honor of ti exnkaL Deewster, THe Jence has n isan okt Puritan n: You are an old Major Pen nnis, That old eoxcomb should. be Mar. Watpres, who knows the nee between cal and tobaceo, ly would stop a ma weet La mod beef loraisee, because Allen told Dam to put carr with it Witt Hesky Vasprnniur, the story is going the rounds of the papers that you talk leas than any nan in Wall street. M talk much with th e do not see how you could hp. Ita hang like that of an un t her lip linge intry mare on a hot day we would think tha he lrael beet quoting Shakespeare until hee ly got tired Mu. Kienvny Surmn, editor of the Cincinnati £»- airer, you are sometimes called Deacon. ‘This shows that you are very zuod. You are a great and rabid tempera This increases your goodness. You were br That is the re nil are a good chiseler a carpenter. the fond 3° par: why ye uz of other p Noan Davis, people have heand very little about y« of late. Your practical, irou-like visage is seldom seen in public places, You were once accounted a very strong, determined politician; but abont the time you | re appointed a judge yon cease! to be a partisan you were little of not at all heard of in polities, and you f jur Me. View Tuk Jeper learns not only from r Is from descriptions of you by your worshiping friends, that you are extrava ntly fond of litte girls, Mr. Hugo, a Frenchman wif all that sublime virtue uF compeers in this love of Uy x. One edits & newspaper and the other runs a big corporation, their round Uk Jcpor Satomax, during the you ran for judge, the Jews i the vilest things of you on the rene. We did could ever becom: campal newspapers said e that a Jew We sald you we imagine that acconling to the Jewish code Joe Levy We did not was a saint and Pontias Pilate a prin know that a Jew could be a bad man, Ma, Jony Tavtox Jousstos, you have had a varied and peculiar Bat, up or dow 1 style and station, was ¢¢ in pictures, literature and good breedin 0 pow among th cial career. you preserved your #o¢ as’ you swell dinner-givers and ball: ers of our lamby-pamby society of the odorless nflower upper ten, younger you would suck the head of your cane for style and nourishment, If you wi Perre C Cruz ram, Tharlow Weed used S become quite the drinkers, because Wee on, Mr. Cooper, are the liveliest of very n ame lived to a long old age, Bo dm nid you live apon milk. which has preserved! yon these many years. Go on, Peter. in the good work. Drink milk. Get it from the far Jersey Highlands, | in everything THE JUDGE. May your white-fring. looking co You never looked man J beard and rather ex enanc among us for many years, Kea great man, bat y od bu are a Mes Joux P. Forey, you are distinguished fro some of the mere writers around you, a8 a gehuine practical journalist. Aside from your business you are a fine judge of sood living. Some of your most telling antitheses found their semi-colons in the Joints of a Delmonieo canvas-back duck. The Londo Telegraph has been richer in ite cablegrams because of the Baltimore terrapin which you have eaten with Sam Ward and Chief Justice Waite. As a carver of tarkeys you have hil no rival since the days of the late ex- Governor Andrew of Massachusetts. Sexatou Bayar, you have the name amon; the Democrats of being the finest gentleman of your party, and, therefore, of the world. The Democrats always more anxious than the Republic: to disor with one in their party of whom they ean at awe-inspiring flourish, that *h Aare an aristocrat in temperament 2 pa t th Your bronze 1a real, but wi a Democrat merely at rty. 1 You are a third-raay Yon will never ts It is not so brassy as it is dal jt family President Me. Witt M. Evasrs, anybody would rece you, even in a country church, as a very pecul son Still you are not great. You neve even wheo you wervin the cradle. 7 ur facial appearance something that reminds an observ | of a toothless baby mumbling afountain end of a nar wottle. You front part of your neck-tie left ¢ are the obverse of a dandy; that is, you neck. Y would peck at the back of your ris sometimes visiting the back of your thinking silk hat whieh chickens wen was learning to wear bis atasacape This Isa sizn Grxerat. Booru, of the Salvation Army is cleseribed aredly, Tae The last thing J to be taught, would be « being very much of a genth Jee man, » would never have saspected. it, nan would de, it w hing is sacred from this ~+ very much of man" and ilLbred questioning, loud-mo ml the very quintessence of rant, cant tian are the distinguishing characteristics of the set of crazy fanatics who take their tone from him, As Gen- | erat Salvation very much of a gentleman nately at his wife 1s. prop mach of a Taly is her lady-like mode of ex- | pression, as poured forth in that most eles | composition, an essay: “1 believe de | council over very day. The devil has never had such a stewi since he was east out of heaven, Mu. G. P. Axprnws, you are a safe, cold, progy, un- sevtimental adviser of tue city administration. Your arning in the law is as exact aud close as the skin és to the eel, Underneath the skin is the fish. Your xlel should never be the lat Delafield Smith, Poor Smith! He was a cheap jobber, Me dealtén politics as cheaply as he woald have kept a peanut stand. You are his surperior asa lawyer. It would be hard for yoa to be his «aps Mr. Jony Resseut, Yoosa, if diploma shonkt be broken off between China and the United might itor of Bonanza Mackey‘ ted new paper, with its $500,000 h: n bank att Mr. Young. when you have acquired an Jor as an Sekc cape 1 two millions behind it psane | man of your Nape perhaps yon may fling to your humble friends a few lit- tle monarch eonie genius is bound TRRRY, the ancestor from whom you rd, practical politician with a racter. He was a Thar- er B. Sweeny, a John Kelly of the Massachusetts hypocritical puritanical style. He was | Funeinae was ah t eort of ch | ofgenius. Only fresh and Tammany politicians with | dyed mustaches and an inabillty to read, a hope of | | next year being a judge, can afford to wear beilllant | aitk hats. Mr. Evarts, you will never be a the first professional ** boss" in American politics ering, which } From his name came the name Gerrym You are just the opposite to the historical Gerry, He shard. You are soft, He was You are good. He w evil, You ary a saint, tis said | that in Heaven they are neither married nor given in marria were all ag sweet as you we would uc think they AL the time, if saints werv married or given in marriage it would be hard to tell whether you ought to be a bride or a groom, You are hot coarse enough in mold fora politician, You are a delicate reformer. Mr. Groner UsTUs Sana, you are no longer young. You will never be old ¢ to be a fool You ai lily writer. Sometimes you write plum puddin usually you write meringue That 1s your art and your wisdom. You are a good fellow a n Yu : dlemption. i 00d liver. a L what you eat; t is ye We sweetly rgive Falstafl when Mr. fears you will die izingly of the bouilte bai artistic owder of southern dish that Tur Je sh France, sala, there is withont eating. In a small town on the northern sly of Long Island there 1s a poor fisherman who coke oysters as Tennyson wijusts adjectives, or as St. Johw smiled. The Jepar loves: you so mueh that he woul be willing to travel sixty miles with you inthe dead of winter in onder to see yon taste ane teaspoonful of his soup liquor. And yet Mr. Sala, at a recent dinner, you had on your left hand who, if hi « ubtfal—is a wifedesert a man whom the “las a dead beat a distinguished Amv the name whieh he bears a third rate re York Herald edit AN exeliat Next thing we Win xe” The advocatity 3a beverase ! whisky that it was p for any purps execation; s0 h ta person to sizn a petitic whatever, even recommending his own revolved to test the truth of the tion, He headed a sheet of paper ** The Undersigned is an Idiot,” and then ea & stranger an “1 have a petition here to present to the Legislature, and wish tosecure your uame to it.” ‘The stranger took the Paper, adjusted his, spectacles and then— kicked the eredu with remarkable vigor and earnestness anced at the headi s man out of hia office Ie is not safe all the newspaper statementa we sev my his father's startes] west to exter a diamond pin mothe pocket-book and revolver me." never stole Indians, nor wos J-nut ildy ssirls, it may wore a broail atid th 1 slipper: fashioned brand, that could Le the twink! big asa “ mashing” correctly inferred that his mother ‘one of th slipped on and and stood in elub-room doors of an eye. Lerrens soliciting autographs ai great re Tur Jt fashion daily. He takes oceasion of informing those Jers in rirte wh of obtaining apeci- mens of his hand-writing that be has a few and the best way for adm show their enthusiaem is by taking them up. lars may be obtained at this otfiee, the penalties of owe, ae is being pestered after this are desir in cireulatlo Partie It is hoped that no one but persons seriously inclined will apply. Tur compiler of our national Patent ( A Pontifical. edi reports < Laurels, ms Aquin to Th had better too 1 of the works of St anced to short ly appear, Tur Jenor is acquainted with a gentleman living nxd society who has la 1 80 much in hw sleeve that It is now quite worn. Sespay aquatics: A cruise upon the Deal Sea, Henner.t’s last (and best) lay: Lay out Dirrictir operation : Cleansing family jars comicbooks.com