Judge — November 4, 1882 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ae Aas THE JUDGE. er Porvtar Soxos Intustratep.—* One of the Finest.” Tailors. My Dear Cniupres : We will this week consider that portion of the Bible which rel: " are not expressly mentioned, but we know are men who sew tears, and we read therein of the man who sowed tares, sew, Q. E.D., he wa i neve ‘ailors be hungry, for he alw: has a goose on hand, and manages to cab- bage occasionally. He owns property, for he collects the rents, It cannot be said he is inhospitable, for he boards the subjects left in his charge, though he makes them the sub- jects of charge, when they leave it. He i vests his work with much interest, and waists no needles time gazing over the ‘bros {cloth} expants ; when he rejuvenates the rear part of ac he becomes a retailer. ‘The tailor is nota law ways sewing—in fact, Though a hole seale r, though he is al- ews fora living, and goes to coat every day, though he stays at home. ‘The present fashion too extends the simile, for it demands he makes his garments brief. He is an orator who deals in knotty argu. ments, and who keeps the thread of his sub- ject well connected, though he often cuts it out of the whole cloth, He often becomes a bore, and batton-holes his victim. 3 sure of the king: dom of heaven, for “blessed are the peac makers.” He plays the part of the lamb, and is often fleec He is innocence itself, but this must in no sense be taken as an invitation to pull the wool over his eyes- trick worth two of that, to be your-owe-him-on-tick. His favorite plac has cotton other nd is too practical of residence is Patch- ogue, and his favorite name is Bill. 10 account must this be taken as a play on Bill o lor. The Irish landlords who try to collect their rents are tailors, f tares: when they have Patcharged, and it docs not suit him to pay, they force him to bray at they make get the twist on him. Of course they have coat to due it or else clothes up shop, and Boycott it is about time. “It is shears since last we met,” s the tailor’s song when he saw an ancient pair of trousers brought for repairs. ‘How saily you've bench changed,” he said when he they #0 off on Button | loth. | found the con seat all out of it. “You are two damn pad to be darned ;" sew to repair it he made another pair like it Sew now, little children, if the man who bakes is a baker, and the man who reforms is a reformer, then the one who tales must be ataler, Sew I will cut’ my tale short and with tears say good boy to all of you. ep. * How are you this morning, John?” said Summerbreeze to his hired been sutte man, who had and who hadn't been paid for the last month's work. “Not much better, sir,” said John, and then, as he laid his hand on his pants’ pocket where his wallet usually lay, he said again, ot much better, sir; there don't be any change.” seem to OLD Summerbreeze took us aside the other day and said, with a face as long as a bean- pole: “I deplore the modern rigidity of New York laws.” “What's the trouble the matter with the law?” we aske the law,” sighed Summerbreeze. went trouting the other d fifty-three beauties ; -what's . Blast “Why and three of fem weighed over a pound each; and I can't crow about it, or make any bets and prove ‘em and win, or get any items into the papers about being a wonderful sportsman, and all that; for if | do, I'll get prosecuted for fi out of season, and them trout will me $20 apicce, every gol blasted one of “em.” ng cost TRA Ta isasign in a candy Glad you've found it out, W; often noticed ourselves that a little ta ail right, but when you went to layin, too thick that the effect was spoiled. store, went it on “Tuat fellow kind of a bo: fellow who re must board with the same rding mistress as Ido,” said the J the sign in a grocery window, “ Another reduction in sugar and coffee.” Caritat punishment: Shutting. the refrac: tory lad in the closet where the preserves are Ay exchange has an arti treat wives.” ‘This le on how to to remind a rabbit—' the old rule about cooking first cateh him.” Some women have adopted the fashion of painting veins on their and necks, ‘They must be vain women. CeRrtais topics for jokes have threadbare, among these the attempts at the expense of the business end of a wasp. ‘The business end of a wasp should be touched ntly, even if you are only joking with it. become Iy 1861, when the late unpleasantness was of cloth to owaday ni In time of peace going on, it took eighte make a lady's dress, } does the work. Moral : prepare for war.” ne yards “MeN often jump at conclusions,” and so do cats; we have scen a cat jump at the conclusion of a rat going through a hole. comicbooks.com